


The Thirteenth Level

by Stormkpr



Series: The 12th Level [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Bellarke, Drama and Romance, F/M, M/M, Praimfaya, chosen family, lots of bunkers, mackson - Freeform, some Bellarke sexytimes later on, the second dawn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 81,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23719717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormkpr/pseuds/Stormkpr
Summary: Sequel to “The Twelfth Level”. Bellarke, Mackson, a post-Praimfaya earth, and an underground cult. COMPLETE
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Kabby (background), Marper (background), Memori (background)
Series: The 12th Level [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709641
Comments: 49
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter One

**The Thirteenth Level**

_Sequel to “The Twelfth Level”. Bellarke, Mackson, a post-Praimfaya earth, and an underground cult._

_Thank you to Penguin of Prose and Lexxaven for phenomenal beta-testing skills!_

* * *

**Chapter One**

Bellamy was overdue.

It was a fact that Clarke could no longer ignore as she looked at Raven’s tablet. Her own fingers, she observed, shook just slightly. Clarke knew exactly how long it had taken their group to arrive at Arkadia II (as they called their bunker) and thus she knew how long it should have taken Bellamy to drop Monty off with the Second Dawn and return here.

“Four hours,” Octavia said, walking into engineering.

Clarke turned her gaze from the tablet and faced the sister of the man she loved.

“If he set out from the Second Dawn when we think he should’ve set out, then he’s about four hours overdue,” Octavia continued, frowning.

Clarke nodded in agreement. “And it should be taking him less time than our last trip here. He’s traveling lighter and doesn’t have to help Monty walk the last few hours of the journey, like we had to do the first time.” She noted that her own voice seemed higher-pitched than usual, and the words came out quickly. She silently chastised herself for letting her anxiety show. She was here in Arkadia II as their leader, but when it came to Bellamy and wondering about his whereabouts, she was struggling for any semblance of calm.

She and Octavia continued to hold each other’s gazes. Their relationship had had its ups and downs since they’d first landed on earth, but lately Clarke would describe their dynamic as being “at peace”. They weren’t friends, but they definitely were not enemies either – and ever since Octavia had been back on speaking terms with Bellamy, it had helped. Clarke knew that many found Octavia intimidating – the grounders had called her Skairipa after all, the assassin from the sky – but fortunately Clarke was not easily intimidated.

“Maybe he’s being extra careful to avoid stepping in bear traps, “Clarke speculated. “And he does have that terrible rash he got from the anti-radiation meds. But I don’t think that would slow him down too much.”

“So how long before we go out and search for him?” Octavia asked flatly. “I just checked the hazmat suits. We don’t have a lot of air left for them, but with them and the meds, we can be out for a while.”

Clarke nodded and took a breath. “Let’s give it two hours,” she responded and took a moment before adding, “I think we give it two more hours, then we go out and look for him.”

“Okay,” Octavia nodded. “Two hours.”

Clarke’s rationale for waiting two more hours was based on several factors. One, every time they left Arkadia II, they faced some degree of risk. They also had limited supplies for a search party. And although a four-hour delay was less than optimal, it likely was nothing; there could be dozens of legitimate reasons for Bellamy’s delay, reasons which Clarke had been turning over and over inside her head. All of these factors added up to the idea of giving Bellamy just a bit more time before going out and searching for him. It was the logical and reasonable decision to make.

Yet Clarke still found herself wanting to run towards the nearest hazmat suit and burst out of the bunker so she could go find the man she loved.

The decision to wait those two hours was one that Clarke would regret for a long time.

***

Bellamy sat inside his old room at the Second Dawn bunker. Mercifully, one of the guards had brought him a book along with one of his meals of bread and water. But other than Cadogan’s initial visit, he’d spent the 48 hours since he’d awoken alone. Bellamy had rushed the doors every time they’d been opened to provide him with a meal, but the guards had always been ready for him. He now had several throbbing injuries from their nightsticks, along with the painful rash he’d been experiencing since taking the anti-radiation medication.

Each moment sitting there alone felt like an eternity in hell.

Finally, at long last (though it truly had been only 48 hours), he heard a friendly voice. Marcus Kane. “Bellamy? It’s Kane and Abby. They’re going to let us in. Don’t rush the door.”

Bellamy grunted in ascent and got to his feet. He knew both the room and his appearance were grimy at best. He’d been given a bucket to use for waste, but was too worried and heartbroken to care much about the smell.

The door was quickly opened, two figures entered, and it was closed again. Bellamy took in their appearances and gasped in horror.

Abby was wearing a dress. The same dress that the Second Dawn women wore.

The sight, and what it had to signify, was truly appalling.

“It was this or starve,” Abby said flatly.

Bellamy just looked at her, his mouth gaping. He finally managed, “Tell me everything.”

***

Clarke decided that she would lead the rescue mission alone. She didn’t want to risk any of her people, and besides, they had limited supplies. Octavia had wanted to go, but had listened to Clarke when she insisted that she stay. “You know the hydrofarm better than anyone, Octavia,” Clarke had maintained. “I don’t want to risk anything happening to you. Please stay here.”

The inhabitants of Arkadia II stood around as Raven performed the final checks on Clarke’s suit. Miller, Jackson, Niylah, and Niylah’s girlfriend Anne rounded out the meager list along with Raven and Octavia. They didn’t speak much as Clarke went through her final preparations. They all hoped Clarke would return and that there was a good reason for Bellamy’s now six-hour delay.

“Maybe he spent the night inside the bunker and overslept,” Miller said.

“And then maybe they made him attend service,” Niylah speculated as Raven continued to perform her checks. “Maybe he’s gathering up a few more supplies to bring back.”

“His rash was pretty bad,” Jackson added. “I bet Abby’s keeping him for a bit so she can treat it.”

Clarke mulled over the suggestion. Here at Arkadia II, they had medicinal plants but until they began to produce, the group was reliant on only the medical supplies they’d been permitted to bring with them. Those supplies were minimal and only to be used in case of emergencies.

They had all voiced different theories over and over again. But as her helmet was fastened, Clarke summed it up with, “There are a hundred things that could be delaying him. But now’s the time to get out there and find out more.”

Octavia heard the noise first. She gasped and looked upwards. Clarke heard it last, the helmet diminishing her hearing a bit. “Wha—“ Clarke began.

A loud, booming crash. Over and over. Muffling, suffocating sounds. The ground shook slightly. Miller and Jackson reached to hold each other and the group exchanged frightened looks as more loud noises were heard above them. It took them a few seconds to process it, and when they did, they all felt chilled to the bone. The tower was crashing down on top of Arkadia II. They had no way to open the door now.

***

“A lot has happened since you left, Bellamy,” Kane said.

“That’s obvious,” Bellamy replied, still shocked at Abby’s attire. “But it’s only been a few days! So what the hell happened?” He still could not absorb the sight of Abby clad in one of the Second Dawn’s shapeless shifts.

Abby took a breath and crossed her arms over her chest before speaking. “My theory is that Anne’s departure was the spark that lit the flame. For the first time in this generation, the Second Dawn saw one of their own people – their own women – act with self-determination and make a bold move. To leave here. So that caused….something of a revolution in the past few days.”

“That, plus five months of living with people who think differently and have different beliefs,” Kane added. “That also gave people ideas. And then once they absorbed the fact that Anne left, they acted on their new ideas.”

“So what exactly did they do?” Bellamy asked, trying to process the information and what it might mean for himself and the rest of Skaikru.

“Groups of Second Dawn members started speaking up,” Kane said. “Asking questions during their religious services – or just not attending. They spoke up at meals and demanded an audience with the elders. We – Skaikru --stayed out of it. We didn’t encourage them in any way.” He paused and shook his head. “Not enough Second Dawn people protested though. It wasn’t enough to make a difference. So the elders struck back.”

“And they struck back hard,” Abby added. “They arrested the protestors and hung the three who were making the most noise. The others are in prison. Maybe 25 or 30 people as far as we can tell. I’ve asked to be allowed to bring medical supplies to them but they haven’t let any of us near the prison cells.”

“And now Second Dawn guards are everywhere, carrying guns. Pretty much every able-bodied Second Dawn man who’s not in prison carries a gun and patrols the hallways. Their people are quiet and obedient now,” Kane said. He paused and added, “And that’s not the worst of it. They blame Skaikru for everything even though we did our best to stay out of their rebellion. They’ve locked down their hydrofarm and engineering. They’ve locked down the cafeteria. If we want to eat, we do what they say.”

“And what do they say? What are they making us do?” Bellamy asked.

Abby spread her arms. “Well you can see the first one. The dress code. I will keep from saying anything more about that.”

Bellamy observed that Abby’s eyes appeared as hard and painful as stones and her hands might have been slightly shaking in anger. Kane’s expression could be described as somewhere between anguished, embarrassed, and mad.

“And we’re all complying with it? Without protest?” Bellamy asked. His tone was subdued rather than incredulous. Two days of being locked inside his room made his mind feel more weighed down than stirred-up, as – he could assume – the Second Dawn wanted.

“Kane told you,” Abby said. “If we want to eat, we do what they say. Hungry people are pretty compliant,” she said with a shake of the head.

“And they’ve told us that failure to obey means imprisonment or hanging,” Kane said glumly. “Abby saw the prison cells with her own eyes.”

“I described them to everyone so they understood what getting arrested here would mean,” Abby added. She took a breath. “I don’t think I could spend more than a few days in there without losing my mind. Especially if I didn’t have anyone to bring me sedatives and other things, like we did for Jackson and Miller.”

Bellamy nodded. He had seen the cells too when he visited Miller. Cramped, filthy, dark, and cold – they made Bellamy’s room with its odorous waste bucket feel like a mansion in comparison.

“Are they asking us for anything else?” Bellamy asked.

“The mixer. It’s in six days. They’re requiring that all unmarried Skaikru attend.” Abby didn’t need to explain what the mixer was, since it had been discussed before Bellamy had left.

“When they locked me in here,” Bellamy began, “they told me ‘you will stay here and marry one of our young women’. Are they going to force marriages on us?”

“I don’t know yet,” Kane said, rubbing his temples. “Right now they’re just saying that attendance at the mixer is required. For all unmarried people. They haven’t said anything else.”

“What about the binding contract?” Bellamy asked. “They followed the other binding contracts we made with them in the past. Can’t you and Jaha reason with them?”

“I’ve tried but I’m no longer invited to their meetings,” Kane said. “In my last discussion with Cadogan, he said I’m too contentious. And as Skaikru chancellor I’m responsible for the rebellion in his eyes.”

“Even though the binding contract said that no one would face consequences for what we did to get Miller and Jackson out,” Bellamy cut in.

“We didn’t think they’d just toss out the binding contract – but they have,” Kane summed up.

“What are our prospects for overtaking engineering again?” Bellamy asked. “Jaha’s an engineer. And Monty’s back now.”

Kane and Abby looked at each other. Bellamy was not surprised to hear the answer.

“Jaha seems to pretty much go along with them now,” Kane said. “A few days ago he told me that he’s thinking about formally declaring himself to be a member of the Second Dawn.”

“Guess he saw which way the wind was blowing,” Abby muttered, clearly irritated.

“And even if he didn’t – and even with Monty back – engineering is on total lock down,” Kane reiterated. “Neither Jaha nor Monty would be allowed anywhere near it. As soon as Monty’s ankle is healed, he’ll be cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry like the rest of us. Not working as an engineer.”

There was silence for several moments. Bellamy looked at Kane and Abby. He knew they felt as trapped and angry as he did.

“Monty told us how it went at the other bunker,” Abby mentioned, breaking the silence. “Arkadia II. I’m so glad Clarke’s safe and away from all of this. But I’m guessing she and Octavia are going crazy not knowing what happened to you.”

Bellamy’s mind was still turning over possibilities. “Raven was going to work on a comms system. But if we can’t get anywhere near engineering….”

He let his voice trail off. It was clear that the Second Dawn wouldn’t want any contact with Arkadia II. It’s not like Monty could just build a receiver out of materials he had laying around his room. Or could he?

“Clarke will come after me,” Bellamy began again. “She’ll come here. You said I’ve been in this room 48 hours? She and Octavia are probably on their way now, trying to find out what happened to me.”

Abby and Kane exchanged a look and Abby shook her head. “I’d almost prefer Clarke stay away from this mess. She would hate it. Forced dress code, forced attendance at a mixer.” She took a breath and tilted her head. “But I know she’d prefer to be with you even if it meant all those things.”

“And with _you_ ,” Bellamy added, looking at Abby. “What do you think they’ll do when she bangs on the door?”

“The Second Dawn seems much more strategic lately,” Kane said. “No doubt with Jaha’s help. Which means that Jaha has probably already told them to expect Clarke and the others to come after you. I wouldn’t be surprised if the elders have guards stationed at the door with guns, so that as soon as it’s opened, they force Clarke and whoever’s with her inside.”

Bellamy was quiet again. What would be worse? Being apart from Clarke but knowing she had her freedom? Or being with her…and watching her forced into one of those shifts, forced to attend a mixer? Where would the Second Dawn stop? Would Bellamy be forced to marry a Second Dawn woman, and Clarke forced to marry a Second Dawn man? **Could** they force that?

 **Yes** , he realized, they could. As long as they controlled the food supply and engineering - and as long as they had armed men everywhere – then they could make Skaikru do almost anything. Kane had said it best. _Hungry people are compliant people. And so are people who fear for their lives._

And if Octavia came here with Clarke, it would be even worse. Bellamy wondered if being forced to live like this and marry a Second Dawn man would utterly break Octavia. Would she simply choose starvation or imprisonment instead?

“Now come on,” Kane said. “We asked the elders to let you out of here so you could bathe. And empty that bucket. The walk to the showers will do you some good. They were okay with it as long as you don’t try anything stupid. Remember,” he said, pausing for effect, “there are men with guns everywhere. It won’t help Clarke or Octavia any if you get shot.”

Bellamy nodded, Abby promised to bring him medicine for his rash, and the three left the room.

***

“Can you keep doing that? I really find it soothing.”

Miller and Jackson were inside their room in Arkadia II. Miller was doing nothing more than rubbing Jackson’s back, but Jackson really seemed to need it right now, and asked Miller to continue it. Miller was happy to do it. His father’s death was still a fresh and painful wound, and Miller knew that his moods and behavior had been all over the board since Bellamy had delivered the heartrending news. It felt so good for Miller to be told that he was doing something right. Good to think about something other than the fact that he’d never see his father again.

“I wish we’d had room to bring some of that mint tea with us,” Jackson said. “The anxiety is making me feel nauseated.”

“Look, you’re gonna be fine, Jacks,” Miller said as he continued the rhythmic rubbing of Jackson’s back. “I mean, I get why it’s a weird situation, but we knew we weren’t going to be able to leave this bunker for years anyway.”

Jackson shook his head. “It just feels so much worse since the tower collapsed though. We’re trapped – under tons and tons of rubble. We can’t get out.”

“True. But look, we don’t have enough air in the hazmat suits or anti-radiation drugs to go anywhere anyway. And besides. We were trapped before this in the Second Dawn bunker with a bunch of lunatics who hated us for falling in love. And hell, before that we were trapped on the Ark.” Miller paused and snorted, “We couldn’t exactly leave the Ark either.”

“At least the Ark had windows.”

“You got me there, Jacks. But this bunker is huge. We have plenty of food, a hydrofarm – and Raven. If you’re feeling antsy, you could spend all day walking around the place. That’s more than you can say about the prison cells the Second Dawn put us in, where we couldn’t even take two steps.” Miller shook his head. “I’ll take this over living somewhere where we were always at risk of getting floated or tossed in a cell, any day.”

Jackson turned his head to look into Miller’s eyes. “Okay,” he said quietly. “You’re right. But we gotta remember that things won’t be easy for our people here either. Bellamy – wherever he is – can’t get back inside here, and I’m waiting for Clarke and Octavia to lose it. Raven will be bored out of her mind here in a week or two. Anne’s struggling to accept her new life here. And what if the hydrofarm fails?”

“Okay, one crisis at a time, Jacks,” Miller quipped, holding up a hand. He then resumed rubbing Jackson’s back. “First, Clarke and Octavia are two of the strongest people I’ve ever met. We’re talking about Wanheda and Skairipa here. As for Raven, she’s got the thrilling job of teaching the rest of us to become engineers, so that will keep her busy and her mind working. Raven likes a challenge, and teaching me to become an engineer certainly has to qualify as her hardest one yet!”

Both Miller and Jackson laughed at that before Miller continued, “Besides, anything’s better than living with the Second Dawn, and Raven knows that. As for Anne, look she’s got Niylah. She’ll adapt just like we adapted to life after the Ark. And after Arkadia. And as for the hydrofarm, well it’s working now. So’s the algae farm. If one bites the dust, maybe the other will be fine.”

Jackson was quiet for a few moments. Although Miller’s arms were starting to get just a bit tired, he wasn’t complaining. Jackson had clearly been suffering with the anxiety since the tower had collapsed, and if a simple backrub soothed him, then Miller would give him as many as he wanted.

“Clarke and Octavia,” Jackson said after a while. “You’re right that they’re the strongest people we know. But they do have hearts. If you were the one who was missing….” he let his voice trail off.

“I know,” Miller said, expelling a breath. “It would suck. Let’s just be grateful we have each other. And that it’s not one of us who’s on the other side of that door.”

“My heart breaks for them. All three of them,” Jackson said quietly. “But you’re right. We’re lucky it’s not us.” He again turned his head and smiled at his partner. “Thank you. I feel like the anxiety’s a bit more manageable right now.”

***

Two armed Second Dawn men walked Bellamy down the hall to the bathrooms as Bellamy carried the bucket. The guards didn’t let him out of their sight, even standing outside the shower stall as he bathed.

During the walk back to his room, Bellamy and his guards passed someone in the hall. His instant reaction was ‘What is that Second Dawn woman doing in our wing?’ but he then, of course, realized it was a Skaikru woman forced into one of the Second Dawn dresses. Bellamy glanced at her face. It was Kara Cooper, the hydroponics expert.

This would take some getting used to. Even during the three seconds Bellamy looked at Kara’s face, he saw a different Kara than the one he knew. She normally appeared confident, determined, and maybe a bit arrogant. He’d expected to see a flash of anger on her face but all he saw today was defeat.

“The elders have a message for you,” one of Bellamy’s guards stated plainly as they reached his room. “Behave yourself and don’t rush the door again. And write an essay explaining what you did and why you’re sorry. Then tomorrow you can rejoin the community here.” With that, the guard reached into a pocket and pulled out a small notepad and pen.

Bellamy mutely nodded as took hold of the notepad and pen, and the guards locked him back inside his room. He knew he would do as requested. Rushing the door hadn’t done him any favors and its only result had been numerous bruises from nightsticks. And another day with no human contact would drive him mad. He had already finished the book they’d given him. He’d take Murphy’s company over this. Besides, the sooner he could get out and talk with Monty, the sooner they could start working on a plan.

So Bellamy sat at the desk and used the notebook to write the requested essay. Once it was finished, he tore out another sheet of paper and wrote a letter to Clarke. He’d been mentally composing letters to her since the moment he’d found out he was trapped. Having an actual piece of paper to compose his thoughts to her helped take down his level of mental agony by at least a notch.

It didn’t help him sleep well though. Hours after lights out, Bellamy was still stretched out on the bed, sleep elusive as he started up at the top bunk. The air here was sweeter than that in Arkadia II – and it certainly was better than the air inside his hazmat suit had been. But that didn’t matter when he couldn’t hold, touch, or look at Clarke Griffin. He couldn’t comfort her and assure her that he was okay. He couldn’t tell her what she meant to him or how much he missed her, and he couldn’t hear her words of wisdom. He couldn’t stroke her hair or look into her eyes.

And the worst part was that he had no idea when he would see her again.

Or if.

**TBC**

_Thank you for your feedback, comments, and kudos._


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

The next morning the guards opened Bellamy’s door to collect his essay. One of them glanced at it, shrugged, and said, “Services start in 30 minutes. Don’t be late. Your work assignment today is lunch duty. Don’t be late for that either.” With that, the men turned and left, leaving the door open. Bellamy sat on the bed, looking at the open door. A measure of freedom. But he wouldn’t really be free until he was back with Clarke. And Octavia.

Bellamy rose and patted the mattress. He had placed his letter to Clarke underneath it, and somehow the gesture gave him a burst of energy to start his day in this dismal place, a small connection to the woman he loved. He then put his shoes on and set out for services.

Monty, Harper, Jasper, Murphy, and Emori found him shortly after he entered the great hall. His last time inside this room had been for Sergeant Miller’s funeral. Skaikru’s mood today, Bellamy felt, was not much better than it had been at the funeral. Every Skaikru woman wearing the same monochrome shift, and dozens of Second Dawn men holding guns, walking up and down the aisles during the service. Bellamy opened his mouth to say something to his friends a few times, but they shot him strong warning glances. Skaikru had always been quiet and respectful during religious services, but today one could hear the proverbial pin drop.

Bellamy felt that seeing Emori and Harper wearing the dresses felt as bizarre and horrifying as seeing Abby in one yesterday, a sight he’d never get used to. `It’s a blessing that O’s not here,’ he thought to himself. `She’d fight back against it and probably have been thrown into a prison cell by now.’ Bellamy’s thoughts continued to rotate and spiral as the elder conducting the service droned on. During the five months he’d lived here before, Bellamy had never found one of the sermons to contain any nuggets of wisdom, anything remotely useful or inspiring. They were just the same diatribes against immorality and endless praising of Second Dawn history and beliefs. And of course now that the deathwave had happened, it gave the elders another chance to remind their flock of how holy and righteous they were, given that they survived while the evil rest of the world had perished. Bellamy’s mood continued its decline. Sure, it was good to be sitting here with Monty and other people he liked, but life with the Second Dawn – and without Clarke and Octavia - was going to be unending misery if they couldn’t find some way to change things.

“We can talk more before breakfast,” Monty whispered to Bellamy as the service plodded to a close. “We’ll have to whisper, but we can do it.”

Bellamy grunted his ascent and silently debated with himself which was worse – trying to pay attention to the preacher and his nonsensical words or letting his own thoughts run astray, where they inevitably led to Clarke. The pain and anxiety over being separated from her made each moment as unbearable as the next. There was nothing to be done right now, Bellamy knew, other than to simply endure it. He thought back to his time in Mount Weather, sitting half-naked inside a cage, his body battered and exhausted. There was nothing to be done then, either, except endure and wait for the right moment. ‘So that’s what I’ll do now,’ he resolved.

At long last, service was over and Bellamy walked with his friends to the rec room, where they had often congregated before breakfast. Monty, using crutches, did his best to keep up with the others. Jasper had been assigned breakfast duty so he wouldn’t be joining his friends inside the rec room.

“Even this place seems more dull and quiet,” Bellamy whispered. He, Monty, Harper, Murphy, and Emori found an unoccupied table featuring a partially-completed jigsaw puzzle. They half-heartedly worked on it as they talked. Both Skaikru and Second Dawn people hung out in the rec room as usual but as Bellamy had noted, everyone’s activities seemed more subdued than before. No one was even using the ping pong table or doing anything else involving physical activity or noise.

“Yeah,” Harper said flatly. “A lot has changed.” For a second Bellamy glanced at her and was jealous. She looked glum, but at least, he thought, she was with the person she loved. Bellamy silently chided himself, knowing that his jealousy wasn’t fair or useful.

“Kane and Abby filled me in on what happened,” Bellamy said. He described their conversation.

“That seems about right,” Murphy said, listlessly flicking a puzzle piece with his free hand. His right arm was still in a sling from the bullet he’d taken during Skaikru’s rebellion. “Wish we’d left this place when we could’ve.”

“We had no idea it would get so bad so fast,” Emori said quietly. “And no reason to think that they’d disregard their….binding contract, or whatever the hell they call it.”

“I think Clarke and Octavia will come back here looking for me,” Bellamy said, leaning forward in his seat. He kept his voice to a whisper. “Kane said he thinks that the Second Dawn will be expecting that and probably have guards stationed at the door with guns.”

“I’d guess the same,” Monty agreed, keeping his eyes on the puzzle. He paused and added, “Once that door opens, Clarke and Octavia would have just a few seconds to take out the guards.”

“We brought guns with us when we left,” Bellamy said. “So they have them. It’d be a shoot-out.”

“I get the idea that the Second Dawn’s guards are trigger-happy and not very well trained,” Harper said, shaking her head. “And probably a bit afraid of Clarke and Octavia. I don’t like what happens when I play this out. The guards might literally just start shooting as soon as they open the door, not caring if they’re inflicting a flesh would – or a mortal wound.” She paused. “And you remember how fast Sergeant Miller was taken out.”

“So can **we** get anywhere near the entrance?” Bellamy asked.

“You can ask but you know what they’re gonna say,” Murphy answered. “They’re not gonna let any Skaikru anywhere near there.”

“They told us a couple days ago that when we’re not on our work shifts, our options are hanging out in the rec room, the cafeteria, or our rooms,” Emori added.

“Don’t forget that they told us we can pray in the great hall,” Murphy grumbled sarcastically. “That’s one of our options.”

“Yeah. They like to know where we are. So if you don’t have a reason to be near the entrance, they’re not gonna let you just stand there,” Emori summed up.

“And we have no idea when Clarke might get here.” Bellamy thought for a moment and looked at Monty. “What about the air ducts? We could crawl around in there and hang out near the entrance.”

“Well, **you** can,” Monty said with a smirk, looking down towards his ankle. “I obviously can’t.” He took a breath. “But Bellamy, think about it. Let’s say you get inside the airshafts and no one notices you. What next? Wait by the entrance for them to open the door, jump out of the shaft, and take out the guards barehanded? Remember how big the foyer area is? It would be a big drop from the airshaft to the ground – you do it, and I won’t be the only person on crutches. And when they see you coming, they’re gonna shoot you.” He took a breath. “Besides, you just said that we have no idea when Clarke and Octavia are coming. For all we know, they could be here now – or they could be days away.”

“And I don’t think you’re gonna be able to get that far anyway,” Harper added. “The minute they catch you in a place where you don’t belong, you’ll be lucky if you get confined to quarters again. They’ll probably throw you in prison instead.” She paused. “You and I saw the prison cells when we got Miller and Jackson out of there. You want to avoid ending up there at all costs. Those cells are hellholes.”

“Yeah, speaking of those prison cells, you know who’s in one of ‘em now?” Murphy began, trademark smirk on his face. “Bryan.”

Murphy went on to explain that many Skaikru had correctly determined that their troubles began when Miller and Jackson had been arrested, thus forcing Clarke and the others to act to free them, and thus leading to the Second Dawn’s eventual backlash. And word had gotten out that Miller and Jackson’s arrest had been courtesy of Miller’s angry ex, Bryan.

“So a few folks ratted him out,” Murphy continued. “Not me, I might add. But basically enough people told the elders that Bryan was Miller’s ex – and Bryan hasn’t been seen for days now. He’s not in his room, so he’s probably in prison.” He paused. “Serves him right.”

“I get why they’re angry,” Harper said. “Things were...okay before. If Bryan hadn’t pulled that stunt, then we wouldn’t have been forced to act, and the Second Dawn wouldn’t have doubled down on us. And we wouldn’t be wearing these icky dresses.”

“And forced to attend a mixer,” Murphy said with a smirk. “Well, the four of us don’t have to go. Thank goodness we’re all ‘married’. But you have to go,” he said, looking at Bellamy.

Bellamy wasn’t interested in coming up with a witty retort, so he just watched as Murphy laid his free hand over Emori’s and said, “I’ve never been so glad to be married to you, dear, as I was when they announced the mandatory mixer.” Emori blew him a kiss in return.

A young Second Dawn man swaggered up to their table. He looked to be about 17 or 18, and he of course held a gun. “I see a lot of talking here but not much work on the puzzle,” he said, his voice full of bravado.

Bellamy opened his mouth to reply but immediately closed it. He suspected that an attempt at rebuttal would be as futile as all of his plans appeared to be. Besides, his friends would know better ways to reply.

“Sorry,” Harper said, with a smile. “We were just discussing the sermon.”

“Oh yeah? What aspects of it?” the guard asked, clearly loving being able to throw his weight around.

Monty spoke up, and Bellamy was grateful for the young man’s sharp mind. Monty regurgitated enough of the sermon to satisfy the guard, and the guard walked away.

The bell then rang for breakfast, though Bellamy didn’t have the slightest appetite. Upon entering it, he saw that the cafeteria looked much like the great hall – armed guards everywhere, and Skaikru keeping their voices at the level of a whisper. He spotted Jaha sitting with a few Second Dawn elders and their wives.

Breakfast was soon over, and many people had to report for their work shifts. “I’m sorry,” Monty whispered, touching Bellamy’s arm before reaching for his crutches and rising from his seat. “I’d be going crazy if I was separated from Harper and Jasper. You must be missing your own girlfriend and sibling just as much.”

Bellamy nodded, hoping Monty saw the respect and appreciation on his face.

Bellamy resolved to try talking to Kane again. And maybe Jaha hadn’t completely turned, maybe he could be reasoned with. Bellamy also hadn’t written off the idea of crawling around the airshafts and waiting by the bunker entrance. He also resolved to ask Monty about building a radio. Without access to engineering, it would be hard or impossible, but he had to ask Monty to try.

Holding onto these tendrils of hope might allow Bellamy to keep his sanity.

***

Combat training was on today’s agenda inside Arkadia II. It was something to do. Octavia led the session. She’d asked Clarke to train the “beginner” group, so Clarke had worked with Jackson, Niylah, and Anne on what she decided to call “self-defense” instead of combat training.

Clarke appreciated that the three healers, untrained in fighting, had all been willing to learn, though she wondered if boredom might have been their true motivation. In any case, they did reasonably well. As a grounder, Niylah had had some combat experience. Neither Jackson nor Anne had any, but Clarke observed that their chosen field had given both of them strong hands. She helped them work with and bring out their strengths.

Occasionally Clarke looked over at Octavia who was working with the more advanced Raven and Miller. She admired the way that Octavia helped Raven train around her injury, leveraging Raven’s impressive upper-body strength.

When training was over, Clarke began the walk back to her room. There were hours to go, still, until mealtime so she thought she might try to nap.

`This is how it is for me,’ Clarke thought to herself. She intentionally walked slowly. `Just trying to kill time. Trying to endure the wait for one hour to be over so I can go on to the next hour. And then repeat. Endlessly. Until maybe one day my heart doesn’t hurt.’

When Clarke reached her room, she stopped and paused. She’d been so preoccupied since Bellamy had left that she hadn’t been as observant as usual. But scrunching her brow, Clarke realized that something inside the Spartan room was off. She surveyed the room again. It was the nightstand next to the bed. It was slightly askew, and she was just noticing that it hadn’t been so before, back when she and Bellamy had first claimed this room as their own.

Clarke squatted down next to the nightstand, pleased at the mild soreness in her muscles. Her eyes spotted a flash of the color white, which stood out against the grey bunker walls. It was a message written on the wall, written in white chalk!

_Clarke, today I’m leaving to take Monty back to the SD bunker. I hope you know how much I love you. We’ll only be apart for a few days but each day will be hard. I can’t wait to be with you again and hold you. All my love, Bellamy._

Clarke lowered herself to sit on the cold floor. She wasn’t a crier. Sadness, to her, felt more like a gut-punch than something that compelled her to bawl. She re-read the message over and over again. At times it made her feel warm, at times it only made her ache harder. She touched her fingertips, lightly, to the chalk.

Bellamy was a man who cared about the details, about the ‘little’ things. Clarke had known that from the first time he’d touched her, and this message that he’d left for her was further proof.

‘Maybe he got back here, saw all the rubble, and is on his way back to the Second Dawn bunker now,’ Clarke told herself. ‘They’ll help dig out the opening. Kane could rally plenty of Skaikru people, they’d get in a few rovers. We didn’t have a lot of hazmat suits but their bunker has plenty of anti-radiation drugs. It’d take time to gather enough people, food, and supplies but they’re probably on their way here now. Depending on how bad the damage is, it could take weeks to dig out the entrance. Maybe months. The tower was huge. But it will happen.’

Clarke also reminded herself of the fact that Raven was working on comms. Monty, or someone else at the Second Dawn bunker, would also need to do work on their end – but the prospect of possibly having a communications system up and running someday helped give Clarke the push she needed to get through another hour, another day.

***

Bellamy sat with Kane and Abby at dinner that evening. The volume inside the cafeteria seemed a bit louder than it had been at breakfast, enabling the three of them to have a whispered conversation without raising eyebrows.

Bellamy had decided against the idea of using the air ducts to wait by the bunker entrance. There were just too many strikes against the plan: a high risk of getting caught on his way there, a high risk of not being able to do anything useful if/when Clarke and Octavia appeared, plus the fact that he had no idea when they would appear. For all he knew, they already had. But in any case, Bellamy knew that if he got shot or thrown into a prison cell, it wouldn’t do Clarke or anyone else any good. He agreed with Harper’s assessment that the Second Dawn guards seemed poorly trained and trigger-happy.

And he had two other ideas, plans that seemed more feasible. He decided to run the first one by Kane and Abby at dinner.

“Can’t Skaikru just leave?” he asked them. “Arkadia II can hold 1,000 people.” When Kane opened his mouth to reply, Bellamy added, “Yeah, I know. We don’t have anywhere near enough hazmat suits, it would take a ton of anti-radiation drugs, and dozens and dozens of trips back and forth in the rovers we have here. And we’d need a lot more food and more farming supplies for Arkadia II to be able to feed everyone. But can’t we make the argument that we’ve earned it? We advanced their engineering and medical systems – including their hydrofarm.”

“Bellamy, I’m not sure it’s even worth trying to make the case,” Kane answered glumly. “They’re finally being transparent about what they want from us.”

“Their end game always was to increase their gene pool,” Abby said. Her voice sounded throatier and a hint deeper than Bellamy had remembered. “They always hated grounders, so they never considered them as potential mates. And then we showed up – a group that seemed a lot more malleable than the grounders. A lot more palatable to them and their people.”

Kane summarized, “Even if the amount of food and medical supplies we’d need wasn’t an issue, they’re not going to let us leave.”

“Yeah, well I’m not marrying one of their people and most of Skaikru feels the same way,” Bellamy asserted.

“Maybe we can wait them out,” Kane said, looking down at his plate. Bellamy noticed that neither Kane nor many Skaikru seemed to be eating with the gusto they had when they’d initially moved in. “Maybe they’ll realize that they can’t force intermarriages, and eventually allow the people who want to leave to do so.”

Bellamy didn’t know how long he could wait. “Can we come up with something crazy?” Bellamy asked, spreading his hands. “If they want to diversify their gene pool….what if a bunch of Skaikru men donate their sperm, and then any Skaikru who want to are allowed to leave? We…we could perform sham marriages before the sperm donation, if that’s what it takes to make the elders feel comfortable.”

“I’ve actually thought about that,” Abby said with a shake of her head. “But based on everything we know of the Second Dawn’s culture, do you really think they’d allow that? They see marriage as sacred, and they’d never allow children to be raised without fathers. They’re not that desperate. Not yet anyway.”

Bellamy took another breath. Abby and Kane were probably right.

John Cadogan suddenly walked up to their table. “Hello Kane, Abby, Bellamy,” he said, with a curt nod. “Remember that the mixer is coming up. We’ll need a final count of how many unmarried Skaikru there are, and their names and ages.”

“You’ll have the list tomorrow, John,” Kane replied.

Bellamy watched their interaction. As stiff as Cadogan was, Kane by contrast was in full diplomat mode. His body language was open – confident but inviting. Always giving it his best try. Cadogan, however, was not receiving any of it. He’d broken off eye contact as soon as he could, answered, “Good”, and walked away.

“Wouldn’t Jaha have given them that info?” Bellamy muttered. “Especially since he seems to be in their corner. So why’d he stop by just now?”

“I’m sure Jaha already gave it to them,” Kane confirmed. “I think Cadogan’s visit just now was more for you.”

Bellamy put an elbow on the table and rested his head against his fist. “Being apart from her is driving me crazy,” he admitted, beyond caring if he looked vulnerable in front of Kane and Abby.

Abby, distraught herself, wasn’t able to offer much comfort but she placed a hand on Bellamy’s arm. “I do think it’s strange that Clarke and Octavia haven’t come here after you.” She shook her head and added, “The elders don’t tell us much anymore, but I asked Jaha if Clarke had tried to re-enter here, and he said no.” She added, with the shadow of a smile, “I can tell when he’s lying, but he was telling the truth with that. And I am hopeful that he’d be honest with me when it comes to Clarke, since he was a parent too. He knows that when you lose a child, it feels like your whole world is crumbling down on top of you.”

Bellamy lifted his head back up, jolted as Abby’s words sparked something. The tower. Both times Bellamy had stood outside of Arkadia II, it had looked as though the tower might crumble down at any moment. Maybe it actually had. The notion was farfetched, perhaps,….but even more farfetched was the notion that Clarke and Octavia hadn’t come after him yet. When he’d half-carried Monty back towards the rover, he’d turned around and taken one last look, and it truly had appeared as if the tower might crumble at any moment. Bellamy had thought it a mere trick of the eye at the time. Could he have been wrong?

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that the collapse of the tower wasn’t just something that might have happened – it probably had happened!

“What?” Abby asked Bellamy, correctly interpreting his expression to mean that he had an idea to share.

“I think I know why Clarke and Octavia haven’t come back.”

***

“So how are you liking combat training?” Miller asked, and then quickly corrected himself, “I mean self-defense training.”

He and Jackson were walking the length of the bunker. Jackson had shared with Miller that he had been experiencing bouts of anxiety ever since the tower had collapsed. It made sense – they were effectively trapped underground. And Miller knew that Jackson was used to having a med bay full of patients to occupy his days but, fortunately, no one here required his services. That left him with time on his hands, time he wasn’t used to, time to worry. Time to feel the stabs of anxiety at his chest.

The couple found that if Jackson did a lot of walking, it seemed to help. So they were in the habit of walking each level – and each corridor - of the bunker each day as if they were patrolling it. Their engineering training with Raven and their combat training still left them with plenty of hours to walk.

“It’s good,” Jackson answered. “I’m a bit sore, but it’s good to learn it. It was something I always meant to do.” He smiled and touched Miller’s arm. “It’s not easy though. I have a new appreciation for you and all the training you’ve done.”

Miller had to return Jackson’s smile. His emotions had been all over the board since his father was killed, but Miller knew he was lucky to have a boyfriend who was so willing to lend a sincere compliment, and who knew that there was more to him than a strong guy who could hold a gun.

“How, uh,” Jackson began, “how are you doing?”

Miller knew from Jackson’s tone and the way he’d stumbled over the words a bit that Jackson was inviting him to open up about his father’s death. Soon after the death, Jackson had pushed Miller too much on this but today Miller found that he truly wanted to discuss it.

“Well, about the same I guess,” Miller admitted. “You said denial was one phase you go through when you lose someone. So yeah, I think I’m in denial. My brain knows that he’s dead but…it’s like part of me thinks I’ll see him again someday. It’s like I think he’s really back at the other bunker or something. Even though I know he’s not.”

Jackson was quiet, and Miller suspect he was hoping his silence would encourage him to continue. So Miller did.

“When I went down with the other delinquents,” he continued, “I pretty much woke up every day thinking that it’d be my last.” He took a breath and shook his head. “Eighteen of us died even before Mount Weather and before the battle with the grounders. I was lucky.” He shrugged. “My dad wasn’t.”

“He died trying to rescue us,” Jackson said softly. “He loved you.”

“I know.” Miller reached for Jackson’s hand and held it as they continued their walk.

***

For reasons he couldn’t explain, Bellamy woke up the next morning energized. The pain and fury he felt over being kept away from Clarke were still there, pulsing beneath the surface and at risk of bubbling to the top. But mostly he felt determined.

He’d spent the couple hours after dinner writing letters to Clarke. He knew the letters would never be considered great poetry or even particularly descriptive. Bellamy wrote about the happenings of his day and wrote out what he thought Clarke was doing. Somehow the act of writing it all down just calmed him. The words he used and the circumstances he described were bleak but still there was something inspiring about thinking of Clarke. As he wrote, he remembered all the horrible things they’d lived through and how they had triumphed. He put some of those thoughts in his letter too, convinced that their situation was temporary and that there was a way out of it.

Bellamy placed the papers between his mattresses and slept well that night. After his morning shower, he walked down the hallway to Monty and Harper’s room. There was time before religious services.

***

“Can you start working on a radio?” Bellamy asked Monty, once he and Harper let him inside their room. Monty sat on the bed, with his injured ankle propped up on the chair. Bellamy added, “Or any communications device? Raven’s probably got everything set up on the other end by now. We just need one of our own.”

Monty exchanged a look with Harper before meeting Bellamy’s eyes. Bellamy knew that the two of them must have discussed this many times during the past few days. “Bellamy. You know I can’t get anywhere near engineering again.” He swallowed. “It was the first thing the elders said to me when I returned – while you were sleeping. They told me they don’t trust me and that they wouldn’t allow me to work in engineering again.”

“I know,” Bellamy said. He shared with Monty and Harper his theory that the tower had indeed collapsed atop Arkadia II. “A radio is our only hope of reaching Clarke and the others. I wouldn’t know where to start with building one. But are there….scraps….components….anything that can be scavenged from places other than engineering?”

Monty again glanced at Harper. She gave her boyfriend a slight nod.

“Possibly one of the supply rooms,” Monty finally said. All three of them had worked shifts in the supply rooms before, organizing and stacking boxes, dusting shelves. The supply rooms were vast, containing endless shelves and boxes. “If we are very, very lucky I might be able to scrape something together with parts we find there.”

Bellamy leaned forward, not disguising his eagerness. However, he had to consider whether or not that was truly feasible. “But with your leg…” he began.

“Until this heals, they’ve got me on ‘light duty’, just like Murphy. Filing things in the library, helping med bay with paperwork – and let’s not forget folding laundry,” he added with a wry smile and a shake of his head. “Lots of time spent sitting down while people bring me laundry to fold.”

“I don’t know if the supply rooms have any jobs that they’d give to him now,” Harper piped up. “Seems everything we’ve ever done in there is pretty physical. Climbing ladders, putting boxes away, dusting.”

“Can you get us a list of what you need?” Bellamy asked. “Maybe we could find them next time we’re scheduled in there.”

“The parts would be so random and so hard to find,” Monty began. “I think I need to be there. But,” he paused, again looking at Harper. “Next time either of you or Emori has a supply room shift, we can try sneaking me in.” He chucked and added, “It’s hard to sneak around on crutches but we can try. That might be easiest.”

Bellamy nodded. “Last few times I worked in the supply rooms, the supervisors tended to be pretty hands off. They’d leave us for long stretches of time.”

“Same here. It’s worth a try.”

Each person was typically assigned a work shift at dinner for the following day. The group hoped that Bellamy, Harper, or Emori would be assigned to the supply room soon so they could give Bellamy’s plan a try. With the way assignments were rotated and doled out, they calculated a good chance that one of them would get such a shift within the next week or so. Bellamy set out to talk to Emori and Murphy.

When Bellamy left the room, Harper walked up to Monty and held his hand. “I don’t like how risky this is,” she murmured. “Like you said, it’s really hard for you to sneak around or move quickly on crutches.”

“I know,” Monty sighed, grasping her hand in return. “But it’s for Bellamy and Clarke. Without them, we’d both have died at Mount Weather.”

“And probably before then,” Harper added. She tilted her head and almost snorted, “And probably after then too thanks to ALIE. We have to take the risk.”

“We’d be going crazy if we were the ones who were separated. I can’t even think about it.”

***

**TBC. Also, please let me know if you're reading this!**


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Bellamy eagerly waited for the day that he, Harper, or Emori would be scheduled on supply room duty so that Monty could – hopefully - get the parts he needed to work on a radio. The passage of time felt painfully slow but Bellamy had developed a few mental strategies to keep himself sane. His daily letter to Clarke was one. And just waiting for the moment when Monty would be able to build the radio – and knowing it would happen sooner or later - was the other.

Before that day arrived, however, it was time for the mixer. “The event that the elders have been drooling over for months,” Murphy quipped at breakfast that morning.

Bellamy had shot him a look. “Just be glad that you don’t have to go,” he’d grumbled back. As for Bellamy, the elders didn’t care that he had a girlfriend in Arkadia II – as far as the elders were concerned, Bellamy was unmarried, so he was attending the mixer, and that was that.

He resolved that morning to just “play along”. There was no point in arousing suspicion now. He needed the radio plan to work, and although he knew the elders didn’t trust him, he didn’t see any benefit in protesting or disrupting this event either. He smiled knowing that Clarke would love the way he was using his head over his heart.

Abby was thrilled with the prospect of a functioning radio someday, and she had encouraged Bellamy to just do what he could to get through this event. She had also shared that she and Kane would be working as “chaperones” for the mixer.

So on the appointed day of the event, Bellamy dressed carefully and combed his sometimes-unruly hair. He then walked towards the cafeteria. The mixer was being held there after dinner, and all attendees would be permitted the shocking perk of sleeping in the next morning and skipping the morning religious service. (“We will start the mixer with a prayer,” Cadogan had explained to everyone that morning at service. “Thus it will be acceptable for anyone who wishes it to sleep in tomorrow and get back on track the day after.”)

Bellamy reached the cafeteria. It had been transformed, with brightly colored tapestries hanging, ones Bellamy hadn’t seen before. Flowers were set out on the tables, some of them ‘real’ flowers from a small section of the hydrofarm, and some of them made of cloth. Musicians were playing, using a combination of stringed and woodwind instruments. Rarely was music heard outside of religious services. Bellamy’s nose detected a few enticing aromas. The elders had mentioned that special desserts would be served at the mixer, deserts they rarely ever had. Bellamy now recognized one scent as chocolate, but he couldn’t place some of the others. They suggested richness and sweetness.

The room was a mix of Skaikru and Second Dawn – every unmarried person was here regardless of which group they were a part of. Every woman was, of course, wearing an identical drab dress. Bellamy didn’t think he’d ever get used to that. On the Ark they hadn’t exactly had an abundance of colorful sartorial choices, but people of all genders had found ways to express themselves through clothing – even small ways like Miller’s old beanie or Jasper’s goggles. No such luck here, at least not for the women. Other than their facial features and their heights, the women’s only notable variations in appearance were accomplished through hair colors and styles – ponytails, braids, buns, or down and loose seemed to be the options. Several Skaikru women kept their hair short, but no Second Dawn women did so.

‘Thank god Octavia’s not here,’ Bellamy thought, as he found a seat next to Jasper and Riley. ‘And thank god Clarke and Raven aren’t here either,’ Bellamy silently added. He decided to hang onto those thoughts and steel himself to get through the rest of the evening.

The event was soon called to order, with Cadogan leading the prayer he’d promised as the musicians ceased their playing. Once the prayer was over, Cadogan explained how the rest of the evening would work.

“Men, please stand up and form a line,” Cadogan directed, clasping his hands together. “Ladies, please each take a seat on one of those chairs that are lined up in a row. Each man will talk to each lady for five minutes, then I will blow the whistle, and you’ll move to the next lady. And so on and so forth until you’ve had a chance to speak with each lady.”

“Please god just kill me,” Jasper muttered in Bellamy’s ear, as the musicians resumed playing.

“At least we get to skip services tomorrow,” Riley muttered back.

Bellamy kept a poker face. He didn’t love this any more than Jasper or Riley did but he was determined to get through it. The whistle blew, and Bellamy buckled down for his first conversation.

As the evening wore on, Bellamy did what he could but each time he was paired with a Second Dawn woman, the five-minute conversation was plodding at best. He would ask each woman a few questions to try to get the conversation going. Did she have brothers and sisters? Nieces and nephews? What rec room activities did she like best? (The answers were inevitably sewing and reading. But rarely did any discussions of great books happen, since apparently the only books Second Dawn women would discuss were ones written by various Cadogans over the decades). What subjects had she liked best in school? (This one also never went too far- Second Dawn women weren’t educated after the age of 12. There was a math and science whiz Clarke had mentioned named Elizabeth, and it seemed she’d been allowed to continue her education – as an exception. She wasn’t at the mixer though. Despite being 18 years old, Elizabeth was already married).

There just was no common ground to be had with the Second Dawn women. A few of the bolder women asked Bellamy a bit about himself. He decided there was no point in not answering honestly, as long as he spared some of the gory details. Despite the months Skaikru had lived here, their lives were seemingly incomprehensible to the Second Dawn. Occasionally Bellamy would describe something that had happened and if it had involved a grounder, the Second Dawn woman might murmur something about how bad grounders were. Bellamy would push back on that, often saying something like, “You like Emori, right? She’s a grounder” but that was as controversial as Bellamy got that evening. He was satisfied to see that one or two women seemed to understand his point about grounders and that perhaps he’d caused a few light bulbs to go off. However, another had responded to his comment with, “The grounders’ last commander was Lexa. She was a vile creature who behaved as a man!” Bellamy’s heart clenched at that remark, knowing that Clarke had been Lexa’s last lover. The jab against Lexa made Bellamy miss Clarke even more, but it did also remind him that at least she was safer away from the insanity here. At least she was spared this.

One Second Dawn woman took an interest when Bellamy had mentioned ancient mythology, and he’d found himself actually enjoying their conversation. Bellamy made a mental note of her name – Jane. He, of course, had no romantic interest in anyone other than Clarke but he would welcome the chance to continue a discussion about mythology with Jane.

It was easier when he was paired with a Skaikru woman for the five-minute conversations. Their whispered sessions might begin with the woman saying, “Are we sure dying in Praimfaya wouldn’t have been preferable to this?” and Bellamy trying hard not to laugh. Or if they were in a somber mood, the woman would ask Bellamy about Arkadia II, eager to learn more about it from someone who had been there. Oftentimes the Skaikru woman would extend condolences to Bellamy over his forced separation from Clarke and Octavia, and ask if he wanted to talk about it. He’d usually decline but he appreciated knowing that plenty of Skaikru cared about him, a former janitor who had been considered a nobody on the Ark.

Around the room, Bellamy saw plenty of Skaikru people who he knew were attracted solely to members of the same sex, and he figured that this had to be even more excruciating for them. That fact helped him keep perspective. There were two women in their thirties who quietly were a couple, as most of Skaikru knew. Bellamy carefully asked each how she was doing during their “turn” together. “When you left,” one whispered, “things seemed like they were going to be much better here. Now I wish we’d gone with you when we had the chance.”

A few times Bellamy caught Kane and Abby’s glances. All they could do was share bemused but sad looks with him. As “chaperones”, their duty was apparently to stand along the walls with several other married, older people and ensure nothing inappropriate happened. Nothing did.

When all the rotations were finished, desserts were served though Bellamy – and half of Skaikru – didn’t have much appetite for them. “These really need to have pot inside of them,” Jasper grumbled, though Bellamy was glad to see Jasper at least taking a few bites anyway.

“During the next two days,” Cadogan announced as the group ate the treats, “we will come around to all the gentlemen and ask them who they might be interested in getting to know better.”

Riley whispered to Bellamy, “Can we just say ‘no one’?” and again Bellamy had to bite his lip to keep from smirking.

With that, the evening was almost over. Everyone lined up to place their plate, fork, and cloth napkin into various bins, and they silently filed out of the room.

***

Bellamy returned to his room and reached for the notebook he’d been given. His daily letter to Clarke would help keep him sane, he knew. He began it by writing out a detailed recap of the mixer. He then went on to write:

_Our days here are pretty much all the same, which you know of course. I wish I could say that it was good to do something different, but the mixer wasn’t any **better** than any other day. Just different. But mostly I’m afraid of what will happen next. When they come around to ask me who I’m interested in getting to know better, can I answer ‘no one’? Can I remind them that I have a girlfriend in Arkadia II who I’d like to visit? Or would either of those answers be considered rebellious and get me tossed into their prison?_

_I know I’ve mentioned it before in these letters – I understand that if I get thrown into prison, it won’t help you or me or anyone else. Maybe I’ll run it by Kane and Abby, ask them how they think I should answer. I wouldn’t mind talking with that girl Jane again someday if she’s really interested in learning more about mythology, but I’m worried that if I mention her name then the Second Dawn will start planning the wedding. Probably better not to say anything then._

_Clarke, you and I have lived through some crazy things but this still feels bizarre. I hated life on the Ark, we each lost a parent there. Life here isn’t any better though. Instead of worrying about getting floated, we worry about getting tossed into prison. I wonder if you and me and all our people will ever be free. Will we ever just have freedom? To live under a system of government where rules and laws make sense, and where the punishment fits the crime. No one should die for having a second baby or for calling attention to a problem. And no one should get locked into a prison cell for loving another person or for suggesting that the rules be different here._

_Every time I sit down to write you a letter, I wonder about your day. Do you - somehow – know that I’m ok? No. Without objective facts, you don’t really know it even though I keep hoping that somehow you feel that I’m ok. The same way I feel that you’re just fine. I just have this feeling that you and Octavia or you and Miller were suiting up and getting ready to go find me when the tower collapsed and trapped you inside._

_You’re okay though. You have food and water systems, and you have the planet’s best engineer. She’s spending hours with you every day to train you on becoming an engineer, isn’t she? You’re brilliant._

_And I know Octavia’s training you at combat. Octavia’s the best there is, and you like to learn stuff. So I bet you’re learning a lot from her too. Is Octavia training everyone? Even Niylah and Anne and Jackson? That I’d like to see. Well, Niylah’s a grounder, I bet she knows some combat moves._

_I thought Miller mentioned that he packed a deck of cards. I hope my memory’s right and he did. In the guard we’d play some epic card games when we had time. They’re good for killing boredom._

_I hope all this stuff just keeps you busy. I know you’re worried sick about me. Okay, I don’t want to write along those lines anymore. I got my faith in Monty and that we’ll have a way to communicate with Arkadia II someday. Then we can figure out a plan._

_Damn, I know what I wrote above is probably identical to what I wrote in the last three letters. Still feels good to write it though._

_I’m going to head to the library tomorrow after breakfast. Take another look through all of their mythology books and decide which one to tackle next. I’ll write a summary here. You know I will._

_I love you. I end every letter with those words but I still like to picture what it would be like to say the words standing in front of you. Getting to see your expression, getting to look into your eyes, getting to kiss you._

***

Raven knocked on Clarke’s door. “Come in,” Clarke called.

Raven stepped inside. Clarke’s back was to her, as she worked away at a drawing on the wall. “Are you coming to the bridge game?” Raven asked in the direction of Clarke’s blond waves.

Raven noted that Clarke’s drawing was elaborate, detailed, and accurate. She took a second to appreciate that someone with as logical a mind as Clarke’s also had an artistic bent. She then glanced at the stone that Clarke was using to do the drawing. During one of Jackson and Miller’s walks through the bunker, they’d found a pile of stones in a corner. It had been unobtrusive, just piled there at the end of a hallway. Clarke learned that if the stones were dipped in water – or spit –they wrote almost as well as chalk.

Whoever had built this bunker hadn’t left much behind. But for whatever reason, the pile of stones was there, waiting to be used.

Unsurprisingly, Bellamy was the subject of Clarke’s drawing. Raven wondered if she should comment on it or ask about it. Bellamy was asleep in the picture, Raven noted as she took a step closer. She decided against asking Clarke about it. It was a private moment, so maybe Clarke would prefer not to discuss it. Raven took another glance at the drawing and again marveled at the accuracy as well as the sense of love she could feel emanating from it. Raven brushed aside thoughts of the men she’d loved and lost. She knew that this was one area that she and Octavia had in common – not wanting to dwell on their lost lovers and being glad that right now there was no possibility of a new one. Better to keep heartbreak away. Thinking about what Clarke must be going through now confirmed that, for Raven.

Clarke finally turned and acknowledged Raven’s presence. “The bridge game?” Clarke asked. “Right. I’m up today. I’m ready.”

“Okay, good,” Raven answered.

Using the decks of cards that Miller had brought, the group had been playing a daily game of bridge. Jackson had learned the game on the Ark. Some of med bay’s staff up there had wanted a social activity with each other outside of the heavy air of sorrow that always clouded med bay, so they’d started playing bridge. Abby had never joined in, but she’d told Jackson to do so if he wanted to, and so he had.

Bridge was normally played with four players, and Arkadia II had seven inhabitants, so each day they rotated who would play. As Clarke had said, she was scheduled to be one of the players today. The non-players would just sit and watch, sometimes talking amongst themselves, sometimes playing a different game. For the small band of people living in Arkadia II, it gave them a much-needed diversion. Their consensus seemed to be that while anything was better than living with the Second Dawn and that they knew they had to be grateful for having survived Praimfaya, their current circumstances were less than ideal. So a distraction just seemed to help. If nothing else, a daily bridge game gave the group something to do, something to think about other than missing people.

Clarke set the stone atop her nightstand and smoothed her hands on her pants.

“We’re almost there with the comms system,” Raven said, though she inwardly winced at the superfluous words. It hadn’t been that long since she’d updated Clarke. “If there’s someone on the other end to receive it, we should have something ready very soon.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said. She placed a hand on Raven’s shoulder. “You do so much for us.” Clarke looked down for a second. “I guess I never really say thank you enough.”

Raven was taken aback slightly at Clarke’s soft tone. She mused that perhaps Clarke’s drawing of the sleeping Bellamy – which Raven could tell even from glancing at it was suffused with love and affection – had put her in a more gentle mood than usual. Perhaps drawing Bellamy had subconsciously prompted Clarke to lean towards her heart rather than her head for now.

As the two women walked towards the mess hall for the game, Raven decided to just ask the question. “How are you doing, Clarke?”

Clarke continued looking ahead as they walked. “About the same.” She then added, “Thank you for asking though. Right now it just feels like it’s better not to talk about it.”

“Fair enough,” Raven said. “I’m here if you ever need to talk or vent.”

***

Two days after the mixer, Bellamy had to admit that his mood had plummeted again, his mind and body full of frustration. He wanted to get Monty working on a communications system but so far still none of their group had been assigned to supply room duty so there was no way to gather the spare parts that Monty needed. And now that two days had passed since the mixer, Bellamy knew that Cadogan would keep his word: the elders would start going around to every man in attendance to ask him which women he wanted to get to know better. And although Bellamy often took some comfort from writing a letter to Clarke each day, right now he was just plain missing her and aching to hold her. He felt un-whole, ripped up, and just ragged. At breakfast he’d sat with Kane, Abby, Monty, Harper, Murphy, and Emori and had to silently admit that he hated seeing all those happy couples – even though he truly knew that wasn’t fair and that Abby was hurting from Clarke’s absence as much as he was.

“She’s safe at the other bunker,” Abby had whispered at one point, perhaps observing that Bellamy had only picked at his meal. “That’s something. She’s better off there than a place like this where she could end up in prison. Like Bryan is now.”

Bellamy nodded dully, knowing that Abby was mostly trying to convince herself. He watched Kane pat Abby’s arm.

Several hours later, Bellamy was walking down the corridor from his room to the bathroom when he heard a commotion. People were scurrying around and whispering. Bellamy spotted Murphy and picked up his pace. “Did something happen?” he asked.

“Not sure. But the fuss seems to be coming from med bay,” Murphy said. The two men headed in that direction.

The details came out not long afterwards. Skaikru member Dawson Cooper had been shot and killed by an 18-year old Second Dawn guardsman. Dawson was pronounced dead on arrival by Abby in med bay.

Apparently Dawson and another Skaikru man had been on their work shift, mopping the floor of the great hall. They had gotten into a verbal altercation. The young guard had told them to stop, but Dawson and the other man continued to argue and yell at each other. The guard then pulled out his gun and shot them, missing one man but mortally wounding Dawson.

 _Untrained and trigger-happy,_ Bellamy mused. Harper had described the Second Dawn guards as such, and she’d clearly been right, Bellamy knew. Swarms of angry Skaikru were in or near med bay, furious at the incident. Dawson’s wife Kara was alternating between sobbing and screaming, while a few others surrounded her, trying to placate her. “Any idea where Kane is?” Bellamy asked Abby above the cacophony.

“Trying to get an audience with the elders,” Abby rasped back angrily. “This is utterly unacceptable! Killing a man over nothing.”

“Especially when there are only 700 members of the human race left!” a woman standing nearby wailed.

“They’ve gone too far,” Bellamy heard someone mutter, and when he turned his head to look at the speaker, he saw it was a middle-aged Second Dawn man. Hearing one of the Second Dawn’s own people confirm what all of Skaikru surely felt was encouraging.

Bellamy tried to think as Clarke or Kane might. Was there a way that Skaikru could leverage this horrible incident? Use it to make demands and get them met?

`Kane has to be already thinking of something and seeing what we can get out of this,’ Bellamy said to himself. He forced himself to be patient in the pandemonium. Kane would do his best before the elders, and once again there was nothing Bellamy could do but wait.

***

As difficult as the wait had been, Bellamy had to admit that he was honored to find a note from Kane inside his room. It was hours after the incident, and Bellamy had just returned to his room after his duty shift cleaning bathrooms. The note told Bellamy to go to Kane and Abby’s room for an update.

“Jaha and I met with the elders,” Kane said as soon as the door was closed.

Bellamy stood facing Kane and Abby. He’d gotten skilled, he felt, at reading Kane’s body language and right now he guessed that Kane had both good and bad news to convey. Kane slightly leaned forward and his eyes were wide, but he also had his arms crossed and a certain hesitancy to his features. Bellamy knew that he himself must look as if ready to burst out of his skin, needing to hear what Kane had to say.

“It was the first time they’ve let me sit in on their meeting since we rebelled,” Kane continued. “Which is good news. I also talked to Jaha beforehand to try to align with him.”

Bellamy guessed right now that his own facial expression left little doubt about how he felt regarding Jaha. Fleetingly he remembered that Clarke and her dad had once been close to the Jahas, with Wells having been Clarke’s best friend. That was in another lifetime though.

“So what happened?” he asked, wishing Kane would hurry this along a bit.

“Going into the meeting, we had to think about what we could get from them, what we need the most, and what would make the biggest impact,” Kane said.

Bellamy tried to force himself, and his heart rate, to buckle down. Kane was going to take his time with his recap. He suddenly heard Clarke’s voice in the back of his mind, ‘It’s good that he not only trusts you so much but also is taking the time to explain everything to you,’ she would be saying. `He knows you’re as much a leader as he is.’

Bellamy nodded to encourage Kane to continue.

“We could have asked for them to let you - and any Skaikru who wanted to - leave here,” Kane went on. “But we doubted they’d agree to that, and we didn’t want to start the meeting with them telling us our first demand was crazy. Allowing you to leave would have required a lot of supplies for one thing. Anti-radiation drugs, and for you, additional drugs to counter the negative effects they had on you. Hazmat suits, rovers, food. And if your theory is right that the tower collapsed, you’d have to turn around and come back here again anyway.”

Bellamy wanted to cut in with ‘It’s just a theory’ but more than that, he wanted to Kane to continue. He nodded again.

“So we thought of what we _could_ get,” Kane went on. “And we got them to agree to a few things today. One was no forced marriages or forced courtships. Unless a Skaikru member comes forward requesting to ‘court’ someone, the elders agreed that they wouldn’t push this any more. The second thing they agreed to was for me to be allowed to train their guards. We had a well-trained military on the Ark. We weren’t perfect,” Kane said with a shake of his head, “but we knew when to fire, and we knew how to use warning shots and keep from inflicting a mortal wound for a minor situation. Maybe, over time, I can eventually get them to decrease their use of guards and guns. Prevent another situation like what happened today. So that was another win.”

“That’s good,” Bellamy said. He knew he had to be grateful that he was being spared from having to “court” a Second Dawn woman, and that Skaikru might be able to avoid another pointless shooting.

“They agreed to one final demand,” Kane continued. “We wanted Bryan out of prison. No one deserves to live in one of those cells, and certainly not for the reason they locked him up. So they agreed to instead confine him to his quarters under guard, and that’s where he is now.”

“After I was allowed,” Abby cut in, “to briefly examine and treat him.” She took a breath and looked at Bellamy. “It’s a major victory, even if we hate what he did to Miller and Jackson.”

“Right,” Bellamy said with a curt nod. Kane had ended the piece about Bryan on a note of finality, and Bellamy feared that was the end of the good news from the chancellor. “What about a communications system?”

“We did ask,” Kane said, holding up a hand. Bellamy knew what the rest of his answer would be. “But in their eyes, the people who left for ‘the Unworthy’ bunker are dead. They wouldn’t budge on this one. Remember they’re down here partly **because** they hate the outside world. Communicating with it goes against their core beliefs.”

Bellamy’s mood plummeted. Yes, he was relieved that he wouldn’t have to pretend to be interested in someone he met at the mixer and sure, having guards who didn’t ‘shoot first and ask questions later’ was good for everyone. But Bellamy wasn’t going to be allowed to leave or even try to communicate with Clarke and Octavia!

“We’ll keep trying,” Kane said, leaning forward. “Cadogan said he liked the idea of having me back at their council meetings. That’s a big win too. Let’s give this some time. I might be able to chip away at them on a comms system.” He added, “I think that someday I can convince them that their engineers would benefit from allowing Monty back into engineering. That could be our opening on that front.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Bellamy said, looking down. “Having you back at their meetings has got to help. And especially if you can get Monty allowed to work in engineering again someday.”

Abby took a breath and spoke up. “Dealing with the elders is…a journey. There will be twists and turns. But today we got some victories for Skaikru. Despite the terrible loss of Dawson’s life.” She took a step closer to Kane and put a hand against this back. “We’re lucky to have a good diplomat. The elders could’ve shrugged, said they were sorry for the shooting, and told us to carry on. But Jaha got them to feel remorse, and Kane knew how to turn that feeling into action.”

Bellamy was quiet for just a second. He knew he could express frustration at not being able to leave or build a comms system. But he did believe that Kane would keep trying, at least when it came to comms. And Bellamy knew that the fact that he had the ear of Skaikru’s chancellor – even though Kane was effectively Bellamy’s girlfriend’s stepdad now – was important. Bellamy could see and feel Kane’s respect for him.

“Thank you, “ Bellamy replied sincerely, looking into Kane’s eyes.

Kane nodded, and Abby reached to give Bellamy a hug. He returned it, and even relaxed into it for a couple seconds. It was good to hug someone.

***

“Jacks, come on. We’ve been down here for 14 days. Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to even _think_ about something like this?”

“Let’s just consider it, Nate. Not for right now, but for the future.”

Miller and Jackson were on their daily walk through the bunker. Jackson had brought up the idea that Niylah and Anne had taken to them that morning.

The idea was that the two couples could someday have a baby together. Or even two babies.

“Well, we’d have to wait a little while anyway,” Jackson added with a smile. “Based on when I got my last contraceptive implant, it should take at least another 3-5 months before it wears off.”

On the Ark, everyone got a contraceptive implant when they reached puberty, and exceptions had not been made for those who were only attracted to members of the same sex. When the Ark went down and medical supplies from Mount Weather had become available, many people opted to have theirs removed. Neither Jackson nor Miller had had a pressing reason to do so back then, so both of their implants remained in.

“I got a re-hit right before we were sent down on the dropship,” Miller added. “So I’ve got longer than you before mine stops working.” He stopped walking and touched his partner’s arm. “But Jacks. I don’t know how I feel about it. Overall.”

“Becoming a parent,” Jackson said. He looked at his partner’s face. Miller would make a great father someday, he knew. For one thing Miller had grown up with a loving father. And despite having plenty of good reasons or excuses to turn angry or violent – or even just bitter - that was not who Miller was. Jackson saw his partner as a gentle, caring man. One who knew how to wield a gun, one who could take down plenty of adversaries barehanded - but one who Jackson saw as a big teddy bear too.

“So…do you want it?” Miller asked. “A baby?”

Jackson titled his head. “Truthfully the thought had never even crossed my mind before this morning. It…it just was never possible before on the Ark. But when Niylah and Anne brought it up – I just think we should consider it.”

Miller shook his head. “There are a million things to think about though! I mean, things that could go wrong with this. It makes my head hurt,” he added, with a smile.

“Oh, I agree, Nate,” Jackson insisted, nodding. “For one thing, childbirth is a major medical procedure, and there would be considerable risk to Niylah.” When Niylah and Anne had spoken with them this morning, they had mentioned that Niylah would like to be the first one to carry the baby as she was a bit more eager to experience pregnancy and childbirth herself.

“Right,” Miller said. “You know there’s also the fact that you and I haven’t been a couple for very long. This is…such a big step.”

“I know,” Jackson said. He then smiled and added, “But hey, given our current circumstances, we can’t just break up. We’ll be forced to try to work out any conflict we have – unless we want to be celibate the rest of our lives!”

“Yeah the dating scene here is even worse than it was in the Second Dawn bunker!” Miller quipped, and they both laughed. They remembered the time when Miller had tried to find a new boyfriend for Bryan, but each potential option had been worse than the last.

Jackson let the laughter die down. He appreciated that Miller could always make him smile this way. “I guess I know partly why I’m considering it,” Jackson admitted, serious now. “I like the idea of feeling needed. Since the day Abby started training me, there wasn’t a day that my services weren’t badly needed. But down here, there’s not much for a doctor to do.”

“If you want, Jacks, I’ll fall down the stairs. Will that give you something to do?” Miller deadpanned.

Jackson playfully nudged him on the shoulder, but Miller continued, “Come on, you gotta know that this is a good problem to have. How many times in the past were you not able to – I don’t know –get any sleep or even take a damn sip of water because med bay was so busy and you had dozens of emergencies to deal with? Maybe…maybe you just need to get used to your life being at a slower pace.” He paused and reached to hold Jackson’s hand. “And besides, I need you.”

The two men resumed their walk, hand in hand, and quiet for several minutes. “We have a little while before we can do anything, thanks to our implants,” Jackson finally said. “But let’s at least discuss it again.”

“Yeah. That’s fine.” Miller sighed. “We got plenty of time to discuss anything and everything down here.” He smiled.

Jackson returned his smile. He appreciated the fact that as boring as life down here was, it was also peaceful. Just being able to go through the day without fear of getting thrown into a Second Dawn prison, speared by a grounder, or floated off the Ark made his nerves and muscles feel more relaxed than they’d been in a long time.

***

“Well, it ain’t so bad. You don’t have to feign an interest in any Second Dawn virgins, and at least there are fewer teenage guards standing around.”

Murphy made the statement to Bellamy as they, and their friends, finished up their dinner. The group was talking about the concessions that Kane had won from the elders. Three days had passed now since Dawson Cooper had been killed. The funeral had been yesterday. It marked the second funeral for a member of Skaikru in the six months since they’d moved into the bunker.

Murphy was right about the guards. Kane had thrown himself into working with the Second Dawn’s guards, and there were already a few visible changes, such as fewer guards on duty. Bellamy glanced at the nearest one and wanted to believe that the young man looked calmer, more serious, and less cocky. But he wasn’t sure if that was truly what he saw, or what he hoped he saw.

“Come on,” Harper said, looking around the cafeteria. “Time to line up for tomorrow’s work assignments.”

They joined the line to receive their assignments for the next day, as two Second Dawn men held tablets, checking off items. “Bellamy Blake,” one of the men said tonelessly when Bellamy reached the front. “Supply room duty, 1300 to 1700 tomorrow.”

Bellamy nodded, careful to keep his expression completely neutral. At last! He silently fell into step with Monty and Harper so they could find a private place and discuss their plans. _Tomorrow_. They would find a way to sneak Monty into the supply room, and along with Bellamy they would scavenge parts. With a little luck, they could soon have a radio on their hands.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

Thank you again to Penguin of Prose for being a phenomenal beta tester!


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

_**Warning: this chapter contains a reference to non-consensual sexual activity. It will not be described in any detail but you will know it happened. If you prefer a version of this chapter with that removed, let me know and I’ll find a way to get the edited version to you.** _

* * *

Clarke stood inside one of the hundreds of empty bedrooms. She held a stone and was writing on the wall, but this time it was not a drawing of Bellamy. It was a diagram.

Today marked her 21st morning here. The 21st time she’d woken up inside Arkadia II, and the 19th day of waking up here without Bellamy. She’d held off on washing her bedding for as long as she could stand it, unabashedly savoring the last remnants of Bellamy’s scent on the sheets.

It was strange, she knew, to live in a place with so much room and so few people. If she wanted, she could run up and down the hallways for half the day and possibly not run into anyone else. And yet somehow, during the past three weeks, Clarke had started to get used to that. If the temperature inside Arkadia II was warmer, Clarke probably would make her post-shower trek from the group bathrooms to her bedroom naked each morning. But Arkadia II was cool, and so she needed a towel.

Clarke continued to work on her diagram. It listed everything Clarke could think of that might have happened to Bellamy and Monty once they’d left Arkadia II. They ranged from the horrific (an attack by an animal that had somehow survived Praimfaya? Bellamy and Monty falling into a pit?) to the optimistic (Bellamy and others were hard at work right now removing the rubble so they could open Arkadia II’s door), to everything in between (Bellamy and Monty had returned to the Second Dawn bunker but for some reason Bellamy wasn’t be allowed to leave). There were dozens of potential scenarios.

It felt good to see them all laid out, even though most fell on the horrific end of the scale.

And not knowing was unbearable. Everything Clarke did, every moment of every day, was weighted down with the terrible burden of not knowing, the gut-clenching fear that Bellamy might be unsafe or even dead.

And now there was something else even worse. Raven’s communications device had been functional for over a week now, and no one answered back. Ever.

Clarke kept the radio with her at all times, turning it on, speaking, and waiting for a reply every ten minutes or so, even during bedtime. She just naturally woke up from her sleep at regular intervals to reach out and wait for a reply.

But there was never any answer, and there were a very, very limited number of scenarios where that meant that things were okay on Bellamy’s end. Clarke, Octavia, and Raven had sat inside engineering and discussed them a couple days ago.

“Best case scenario is that Bellamy and Monty are back inside the Second Dawn bunker but for some reason, Monty can’t get into engineering,” Raven concluded. “Because if Monty’s got access to engineering, he should’ve been able to put together what he needs by now to answer us.”

“Is it,” Clarke began, her voice somehow steady, “at all possible that there’s a flaw on this end? Does it,” Clarke said, glancing at the radio she held, “not work?”

“It works,” Raven said. She crossed her hands over her chest but then immediately uncrossed them. “I’m not being defensive. I’ve tested it a hundred times.”

“Maybe Bellamy and Monty are with others from Skaikru right now,” Octavia said, tilting her head up. “Above us. Working to dig us out.”

“But why would Monty go?” Clarke asked. “He’s injured. Why wouldn’t he be back at their bunker inside engineering?” Clarke then tilted her head. “What if something happened to Monty but not Bellamy? I mean, not that I’d want that!” she hastened to add. “But Monty’s our only engineer. Other than Jaha, but I don’t think he ever spent much time inside engineering there.”

“Jaha was always busy socializing with the elders,” Octavia added, smirking.

“But maybe that’s it!” Clarke said. “Maybe Monty’s sick or something, and he just can’t get to engineering.” She took a breath. “But Jackson treated his wound really thoroughly.”

“Maybe his hazmat suit got torn,” Raven said, shrugging. “Or he came down with something else. People do get sick.” She looked at the radio that Clarke held, “That thing really does rely on Monty, since Jaha’s worthless.”

Octavia touched a hand to Clarke’s arm. “Maybe your idea about Monty being with Bellamy and others trying to dig us out isn’t wrong. The guy’s a brilliant engineer. I could see them bringing him along to think of solutions.”

“And he’s got a good heart,” Clarke added. “He’d want to be helping, even with his bad ankle.”

Raven looked down. The room was quiet for several moments. “I would just think,” she began quietly and slowly, “that if Skaikru was outside trying to dig us out, we’d have heard noises by now.”

“I don’t know,” Clarke sighed. “The tower was huge. If the whole thing fell right on us, it could take them weeks. Or months.”

“Won’t their damn suits run out of oxygen?” Octavia asked glumly. “And how long can people function on anti-radiation drugs alone? You saw that terrible rash they gave Bellamy.”

“They’d have to set up tents,” Raven thought. “Well-sealed, work station tents near us.” She shook her head. “Maybe the negotiations to get all the equipment they need are taking a long time. The elders are such a pain, they don’t like to give stuff away.”

The three women fell silent.

As Clarke worked on her diagram on the morning of the 21st day, she knew she was grasping at straws. Her potential scenarios and explanations gave her little encouragement. After a few hours, she sat down on the empty bedframe and took a look. Her eyes drifted towards the “horrifying” side.

_If one of these is true, then how do I keep going? What is going to motivate me to get out of bed? Am I really going to grow old and die down here? Without Bellamy. Without my mother. And without ever knowing what happened to him._

_I like the other people down here, but are they going to be enough?_

Clarke’s ears automatically perked up when they heard a sound, and her hands flew towards her belt where the radio was strapped to her side. She grabbed it.

No. The sound had been nothing. Just footsteps from someone walking down the corridor. Maybe just someone coming to get her to tell her that breakfast was ready.

Clarke’s body tensed and startled again as she had another thought. She’d been glancing at the “horrifying” side of her diagram, and one of the first possibilities she’d written down was that something had happened to Bellamy and Monty soon after they’d left Arkadia II. If that had been the case, then could perhaps a search party be on its way for the two of them? It would take some time, but surely Harper could rally Kane and the others to pull a search party together. It could possibly take a week or two, Clarke rationalized, to gather all the people, drugs, food, and other things they’d need. But maybe they were here and were now seeing the rubble – and thinking of a way to dig them out.

A glimmer of hope. A reason to walk to the mess hall and eat breakfast. A reason to go on another day without Bellamy.

***

“They took Monty away! He’s in prison!”

Bellamy’s sleep was interrupted by Harper shaking him awake. “W-what? What happened?” he asked.

Harper calmly described what had happened, though her voice shook a bit. Andrew Cadogan along with a few guards had simply walked into their room 20 minutes ago. They’d searched the room, despite Monty and Harper’s protestations, and after not long they found what they’d been looking for: evidence that Monty was working on a radio.

How did they know to search their room? It was anyone’s guess. Maybe someone had overheard something, though Monty, Bellamy, and the others were careful to whisper when they were in public places. The elders had never trusted Monty since the rebellion, so maybe someone was keeping tabs on them. Maybe Andrew regularly snuck into their room while they were out and searched it, and this was the first time he’d found something.

“I asked them what they were doing,” Harper said, “and they just dragged him away and said they were taking him to prison. I tried to follow but they wouldn’t let me.” She added, “Andrew shoved me really hard back onto the bad. I hit my head. That asshole.”

“Come on,” Bellamy said, reaching for his shoes. “Let’s get Kane.” He was determined to not let his hopes shrivel – in fact, he felt full of fury and resolve. They were going to get Monty out of that prison and Monty would resume working on the radio! Bellamy’s hopes had been too high since Monty had gotten his hands on the spare parts, and he was not about to let his hopes wither.

***

The next day was spent in fruitless negotiations. Kane used every verbal tactic he could muster. Perhaps the elders were now used to his style and techniques, and perhaps they were tired of another Skaikru transgression.

“No, we’re not letting him out,” John Cadogan said wearily, after hours of talks. “We’ve been very clear that we don’t want communication with the outside world. The last thing we want is anyone speaking with the rabble-rousers in the Unworthy bunker. And that’s final.”

“Can we go now?” the elder named Donald asked. “It’s almost lunchtime.”

“Can we discuss this again tomorrow?” Kane asked, with urgency in his voice, as the elders began to stand up and leave.

“No!” Cadogan barked.

***

Miller, Jackson, Niylah and Anne remained sitting in the mess hall after the second and final meal of the day. They lackadaisically played an easy card game which Jackson called Crazy Eights, but mainly they stayed there to talk.

“At least this game doesn’t make my head hurt the way bridge does,” Miller muttered.

“You’re getting better at bridge,” Jackson smiled, gently touching a hand to his arm. “You’re good at a lot of things,” he added.

Miller grunted in reply. He was the worst apprentice engineer here and the worst bridge player too, he knew. And good as he was at combat, Octavia and Clarke were always better. He wanted to feel like he was **good** at something. He then looked at Jackson and they shared a smile. Well, there was one thing Jackson always told Miller he was good at, and from the glint in his eye he guessed Jackson was thinking about it right then as well.

“So,” Niylah began after a couple more rounds had been played. “Have you two given it any more thought?”

There was no need to clarify what she was talking about. They didn’t have a ton of discussion topics here inside Arkadia II.

“We have,” Miller said, nodding. “But you remember what we said before. Thanks to our implants it could be like 3-5 months before…our sperm actually works again.”

The group smiled at the way Miller phrased it.

Anne shrugged and said gently, “The months will eventually pass.”

“It’s too risky to take the implants out here,” Jackson acknowledged. “So if we decided to do this, we **will** have to just wait for the implants to become ineffective.”

“You mean you don’t want to do surgery on yourself?” Miller quipped, and the others again smiled at his sarcasm. He then turned serious and took a breath. “I’m coming around to it. Parenthood,” he said. He’d told Jackson the night before, so Jackson wasn’t surprised. “Sometimes I think about how fast time goes by and how…well, how life is precious. Pretty much everyone I knew growing up is dead now.”

“Everyone I ever knew up until a year and a half ago is dead,” Niylah added. Her words were simple and not bitter. “None of us know how much time we have.”

“Right. So maybe trying to bring some new life into the world would be a good thing.” Miller paused and looked at the three expectant faces around the table. “Is this fair to a child though? Living here, underground?”

“You and I were born on the Ark,” Jackson said. “It wasn’t paradise.” He leaned forward. “But we had parents who loved us, took care of us, read to us. That was the important part.”

Miller nodded wondering if the stab of pain at the mention of his father would ever go away. No, Jackson had told him one day, it never really does leave. It only fades a bit, like a scar.

“A baby would certainly brighten our days here,” Anne said. “Each day here is much like the next. Imagine the…joy a baby could bring all of us.” That argument had been the most compelling one for all four of the adults.

“And we live in peace here,” Jackson added. “It might not be the most beautiful place but we have peace. And we have enough food. We have a good leader in Clarke, one we don’t have to fear.”

Miller tapped his cards against the table. He looked down as he asked, “What if we never get out of here? The kid will never get to experience what each of us has. Falling in love, finding a partner.” Although Clarke seemed to believe that someday they’d leave this bunker, most of the others weren’t too optimistic on that front. As Raven had told them dozens of times after surveying every piece of equipment in engineering, they didn’t have the equipment here to dig themselves out. The feeling of helplessness and suffocation could be overwhelming at times.

Niylah smiled, “Well, unless perhaps the kid grows up to like older women! Octavia, Clarke, and Raven will still be here.”

With that, the four people chuckled. “Okay, too much, too much,” Miller laughed, shaking his head. “The idea of me fathering a kid who grows up and becomes Octavia’s lover someday!” More laughter ensued.

Niylah had done the least amount of laughing though, and she tilted her head. “You’re not wrong to be concerned about that,” she said. She reached for and held Anne’s hand. “Maybe Bellamy will someday find a way to get us out but that feels so unlikely. So if we do have a baby, we might very well be depriving them of ever having a lover. ”

Anne nodded, sobering up quickly. “True. It is a serious thing that we need to consider.” She took a breath. “But my parents brought me into their world, knowing that if I was attracted to other women that I could be killed or banished for it. They had me anyway, without ever giving that a thought. Was that wrong of them?” She then added, “Everything turned out okay for me, so maybe somehow it will for our child or children too.”

“Some people are asexual – or aromantic,” Jackson added. “Granted, we don’t know what the odds are, but it’s possible that our child will never even want to have a romantic partner.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Niylah admitted.

Jackson tilted his head. “We might get out of here someday,” he said. “Once the ground is survivable in four and a half years. And if the Second Dawn decides to let Bellamy go so he can dig us out.”

“That’s a lot of digging,” Miller said, shaking his head. “Bellamy’s got some muscles but the whole damn tower’s gotta be on top of us. He’s not a goddamn superhero.”

Jackson smiled. “As long as Clarke’s down here, he’ll find a way to open that hatch sooner or later.” He took a breath. “So our child is probably not going to spend their **whole** life here.”

The group was silent for a bit. Miller then said, “Well yeah, like I said, I’m coming around to it. And we got lots of time in the next 3-5 months to talk about it more.”

The group seemed to be in agreement. Jackson and Anne then looked at each other and smiled. They had learned, soon after arriving here, that their mothers had shared the same first name – Mary. And they had both been very close to their mothers.

Niylah caught their glance and smiled. “Yes, if we do go through with this and the baby’s a girl, we’ll name her Mary.”

“I wonder if we could do Mary Abigail,” Jackson said. “I miss Abby. I really, really miss Abby.”

Miller put a hand on Jackson’s back. He took comfort in something Jackson had said a few days ago on that front. `At least I know Abby’s safe and sound,’ Jackson had said. `Missing Clarke, no doubt, but at least she’s safe inside that bunker.’

***

Another day and a half passed inside the Second Dawn bunker – Monty had now been in prison for 36 hours. Abby herself had gone to Cadogan and pleaded for the chance to at least bring him blankets or medicine, and she had been denied. Kane had pressed Jaha to speak to Cadogan – maybe they could use the ‘good cop/bad cop’ method – but Cadogan had refused to discuss Monty’s situation any further.

“So they’re just going to leave him there??” Harper yelped, angry and frustrated. “For as long as they want??”

“They left Bryan in there for over a week,” Murphy said. “It took one of their guards shooting Dawson Cooper to give us enough leverage to get him out.”

“Not helping, John!” Emori exclaimed. She reached to put an arm around Harper. Harper’s eyes were red. Jasper stood there with them too, mutely horrified, looking even more lost and aimless than usual.

Bellamy watched his friends, all too aware of how terrible the prison cells here were. Because Bryan was now confined to quarters, no one had seen him since his release except Abby as she’d been allowed to treat his injuries. She hadn’t gone into detail other than to say that he was “a mess, mentally and physically”. Bellamy himself had seen Miller during and right after his prison time – and back then they’d at least been able to sneak essentials to him. Monty was receiving none of that.

“There’s gotta be a way,” Bellamy said, fists clenched. But he didn’t know what to do. Putting aside the devastating fact that they wouldn’t have a radio anytime soon, Bellamy could not stand the thought of Monty spending time inside the hellish prison. He glanced at Harper and saw her anguish. He felt that way inside, each day, separated from Clarke.

“Maybe they’ll just give in to us,” Emori said. “Eventually. If Kane can keep trying.”

“I can’t wait another day!” Harper wailed. “Monty’s strong, but my god I feel sick every minute he’s in there!”

Bellamy went through every option inside his head. The Second Dawn had their armory and engineering locked down. Diplomacy wasn’t working. Skaikru had more people but no guns. There weren’t a lot of possibilities.

“Let’s give Kane and Jaha another day to figure something out,” Bellamy said.

“And then what?” Harper asked quietly.

Bellamy had to admit that he didn’t know. He felt his insides crawl and his head grow heavy with pain. Would Clarke know what to do? Or would she be as lost as he was? He didn’t know the answer, but he would’ve given anything to be able to talk to her and ask.

***

In the end, Harper took action. Her opportunity presented itself later that day. Bleary-eyed, she was working on her shift inside the laundry room when the elder Donald came up to her and gestured for her to step aside. A few of the others working there turned their heads or raised an eyebrow, but everyone silently continued going about their business as Harper followed Donald into an empty side room.

“You want your husband back, I can make it happen,” Donald said, leaning in towards Harper. “Sleep with me, and I’ll get him out of prison.”

Harper recoiled in horror, though part of her brain had somehow registered that this was what he was going to propose, from the moment Donald had strode up to her inside the laundry room. She also couldn’t explain why, but she’d known in an instant what her answer would be.

“Get him out first,” Harper said. “Get him out of prison with a written guarantee that he’s not going back.” She wasn’t sure where the firmness came from, but her voice was unwavering.

Donald was quiet for a moment or two. “Okay,” he said. “But you have to follow through on our agreement - or I’ll find a reason to lock up you and the rest of your friends.”

Harper nodded. Her insides twisted with a type of nausea she hadn’t ever felt as Donald described the next steps.

The steps unfolded just as the elder said they would. Two hours later, Monty was released, escorted by two armed guards. He used a cane instead of crutches now to move around; somehow his ankle had continued to heal in prison.

Harper stood at the appointed place in the hallway so she could embrace Monty. She did so, careful to keep her emotions in check, steeling herself mentally and physically for what was to follow. She had made the bargain and would have to follow through with it. As Monty hugged her, Harper took in the fact that Monty was cold; his cell must have been freezing. She squeezed him tightly, trying to share some of her warmth. Dimly she was aware that Jaha had been brought here and was reviewing Monty’s signed release form. She vaguely heard Jaha express relief and gladness that the elders had changed their mind and were allowing Monty freedom again. Harper vaguely heard one of the guards say that Monty would be given his next day’s work assignment at dinner along with everyone else. He was officially back in the real world.

“Shower first before anything else,” a guard said robotically, to Monty. “Elders’ orders.” One guard broke up Monty and Harper’s hug, and ushered Monty into the men’s bathroom apparently to keep watch over him. The other guard cocked his head at Harper, indicating for her to follow at a distance.

Harper followed the guard as he led her down several corridors. She was shivering and her stomach lurched left and right. She wondered if she might vomit. Harper forced herself to take a few deep breaths, to remember that she had no choice. She tried to put her brain on autopilot, to do what had to be done no matter how revolting every minute of it would be. Eventually she and the guard reached a section she hadn’t seen before. He unlocked a door to a room. The room contained a bed, and Donald stood next to it, waiting for her with a grin on his face.

***

A couple days later, Bellamy’s sleep was again interrupted. This time, Harper, Monty, and Emori entered his room and gently shook him awake.

Bellamy hadn’t been sleeping too well anyway. Between the fact that work on the radio had been forced to a halt and the fact that he and his friends could apparently be subject to ‘search and seizure’ at any time as well, Bellamy knew he was tumbling down into despair. He didn’t know if he’d ever talk to Clarke again, let alone actually be in the same room with her. As much as he cared about his friends, he had to ask himself a few times how long he could carry on if there was to be no hope of seeing Clarke or Octavia again.

He was also puzzled, because Kane had candidly told him that he had no idea why Monty had been released, given that the elders had seemed so dead-set against it at first. The rules kept changing, nothing made sense, and Bellamy couldn’t think of any useful tactics to fight back. Yes, despair, he’d thought to himself. That was the only term that was coming to mind for him now.

As long as there was a glimmer of hope that he’d see Clarke again someday, Bellamy would keep trying. But lately that glimmer was about as dull and dusty as the post-Praimfaya world outside the bunker had been.

“Sorry to wake you,” Harper said gloomily. “But something else happened.”

“They arrested Murphy,” Emori said. “They planted something in our room and arrested him for it. And that gross, creepy elder Donald wants me to sleep with him in order to get Murphy out of prison.”

As Bellamy sat up and shook his head, Harper and Emori relayed the entire story. Harper started by explaining how she had gotten Monty released from prison.

“Oh,” Bellamy said. “Now it makes sense. Why the two of you have been so…down.” He had noticed – as anyone else with eyes had – that Harper and Monty had been morose since Monty’s release. But Bellamy had either been too caught up in his own despair or had just attributed their moods to the stress of prison combined with general frustration over life here.

“Yeah, well now apparently Donald decided that he wanted some more,” Emori said. “He must’ve had someone plant some moonshine in our room. Because guards entered it a couple hours ago, woke us up, searched our room and found what was planted. Then they hauled Murphy off to jail. And just as I’m walking down the hall to go get one of you, who should appear but Donald? Telling me he has a way I can get my husband out of prison.”

Bellamy listened, his heart in his throat.

“I told him to get the fuck away from me,” Emori continued. She then glanced at Harper. “Then I went to see these two – they told me what had happened.”

“This won’t stop here. How long before the elders just arrest any guy they want, so they can get at his girlfriend?” Harper asked, her voice rising in panic.

Bellamy looked around the room. He saw his three friends somewhere between horrified and angry, awaiting direction. Bellamy had an idea brewing now, but he wished he had Clarke to discus it with. He would’ve given anything to have her here. “Kane,” he finally said. “We need to bring him into this.”

Harper’s eyes were wide. “I’d rather not tell him what happened.”

“Hey,” Monty said softly but firmly, putting his arm around Harper. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did what I had to do,” Harper said flatly. “But it was the most disgusting and awful thing I’ve ever done.”

Bellamy watched Monty pull Harper into a hug. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking up, “Hey Harper,” he began softly. “Can you be okay with us going to Kane? We need him. Remember he negotiated for us successfully after Dawson Cooper was shot.”

“And you don’t have anything to be ashamed about,” Emori said. She added, “Six months of living here have messed with our heads.”

“These horrible people taking advantage of others are the ones who should be ashamed,” Monty said firmly.

Harper nodded resolutely. “Let’s get Kane.”

Not long afterwards, Bellamy, Harper, Monty, and Emori stood inside Kane and Abby’s room. The group was too demoralized and outraged to feel any awkwardness over the situation. Bellamy took one second to reflect upon the oddness of this, how 18 months ago his current scenario would’ve been unthinkable. Standing inside the chancellor’s bedroom – along with the chancellor’s partner who was also Bellamy’s girlfriend’s mother – and all clad in sleepwear. Bellamy just shook his head at it and focused his mind.

He relayed what the others had told him. Kane and Abby stood silently, taking it all in.

“You’re sure the moonshine was planted?” Abby straightforwardly asked Emori.

“Yes,” Emori insisted, raising her arms. “John and I liked a drink as much as anyone else, but it’s something we could live without. We wouldn’t even know where to go to get some.”

“And the coincidence is too great,” Kane said, shaking his head. “Donald standing around in one of Skaikru’s corridors, finding Emori right after Murphy is arrested.”

“We can’t live like this,” Abby said sharply. “We have to do something. How long before they just lock up random Skaikru men so they can insist on sleeping with their wives?” She reached for a word from history and said, “They’ll turn this bunker into their private brothel.”

Bellamy’s mind was churning. When Emori and the others had first come to his room, he’d felt stuffy-headed and stymied, and nearly hopeless. But now ideas were pulsing.

“Can we just overpower them?” Bellamy asked. “There are 440 of us and 290 of them.” Bellamy subtracted out the Second Dawn people who had rebelled while he was away and who were still in prison, at least as far as Skaikru knew.

“But they have all the guns,” Kane said. “They control the armory.”

“I think maybe we should try it,” Harper spoke up. “At religious services someday. We overtake them. All of Skaikru working together. They can’t shoot us all.”

“There would be casualties,” Abby said. “Potentially a lot of them.”

“But you said it yourself, what the risk is of doing nothing?” Bellamy asked. “How long before they decide it’s easier to just lock up all our men so they can…abuse our women? We have to draw a line somewhere!” Bellamy felt anger surging through him, and in a perverse sort of way, it felt good.

“We might be able to overtake them – if we can be okay with a lot of casualties in the process,” Monty said gravely. “Remember that half of the Second Dawn people aren’t fighters – their women aren’t trained to fight. Ours are. Sheer numbers might be able to win over weapons.”

“We could be looking at a lot of deaths and a lot of serious injuries,” Kane said. “Can we really accept that? We might lose twenty percent of us. A third maybe. Look at the six of us standing here. If a third of us die fighting them, that’s two out of the six of us gone. Forever. We were just at Dawson’s funeral. Are we okay with the idea of losing so many more people?”

“Is it worse than doing nothing?” Bellamy asked firmly. “And watching people get locked up and sexually abused one after the other?”

“Prison and sex slavery are worse than death,” Emori said, frowning.

Abby took a breath. “I’m so tired of this back and forth with them!” she exclaimed. “They sign a binding contract, then they decide they don’t have to follow it. They tell us no food unless we wear dresses. They kill Dawson Cooper, we get a few concessions. They catch Monty doing something they don’t like, they toss him in prison. They’re just going to continue disregarding any basic human rights – let alone any agreements they make.”

Kane looked at her and nodded. “I understand your exasperation. I feel it too. So…let’s play this out. Let’s say somehow we pull it off. We get all of Skaikru to fight and we win – despite possibly leaving 30% of us with bullet wounds, many of which will be fatal. What do we do next?”

“Tie up every Second Dawn fighter,” Bellamy said without hesitation. “Everyone except those who were too young or too old to fight. Build prisons if we have to, except ours will be humane and we’ll take care of our prisoners. We run the hydrofarm and engineering and everything else, and we keep the Second Dawn suppressed for as long as we need to – maybe we confine them to quarters.” He looked at Abby, “And then I lead a team to go to Arkadia II and get Clarke, Octavia, and the others. Bring them back here.”

“So we become jailors,” Kane summarized.

“It’s Mount Weather all over again,” Monty said pointedly. “It’s them or us. And you remember what we picked last time.”

“This time we won’t be killing anyone,” Bellamy said. “Unless it’s in defense.” He looked at Kane. “And right now, they’re our jailors. It’s not even a….a metaphorical prison at this point – it’s a real prison, since they just tossed Murphy into one for no reason.”

“Oh they had a reason,” Emori murmured, clearly alluding to what Donald wanted from her.

“And they’ve made it clear that they can do the same to any of us, at any time,” Abby added.

Bellamy looked at Abby and was excited to see her energized. He knew that part of it had to be the prospect of Skaikru winning and then being able to go and get Clarke. He had to admit that his own adrenaline was pumping.

“If we all agree,” Kane said, looking around the room, “then you know the next step. The harder one. We have to somehow convince all of Skaikru – all 440 of them - to join us and accept the risk.” He took a breath. “On the Ark we sometimes couldn’t get a six-person council to agree on the right mix for the nutrition cubes.”

“He’s right,” Abby said. “This won’t be easy.”

“We have to try,” Bellamy insisted. “We can’t live like this.”

Hopes for a radio might have been dashed, but Bellamy felt a new kind of excitement. He didn’t welcome battle, he didn’t welcome the chance of getting shot. He’d suffered through enough battles during his short lifetime. But what if this actually worked? If it did, then he could be just days away from getting to be with Clarke!

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

“Forget it, Bellamy! We were slaves on the Ark, we were slaves to Azgeda, and we’re slaves here. At least the Second Dawn feed us more than Azgeda ever did. And our work shifts are a lot shorter.”

Riley’s words came out in a raspy whisper. The two men sat inside the rec room before breakfast one day, side by side on the sofa, as they pretended to read.

“That may be true, but if you end up in prison, then you won’t think it’s any better than Azgeda,” Bellamy retorted, his whisper equally intense.

Riley was silent for a few beats, continuing to look down at his book. “What happened to Murphy sucks,” he admitted. “But I don’t have a girlfriend or wife, so I don’t have to worry about them deciding to use her for a reason to throw me in prison.”

“So you think it’s okay to not fight back??”

“I think we got no choice. We’re not gonna win. They have all the guns and they’ve locked us out of every key area here.” Riley shrugged. “Just eat your breakfast, go to your work shift, and accept it. Maybe someday they’ll let Murphy out.”

With that, Riley stood up and walked away.

Bellamy took a breath and rested his head in his hands for a bit. He looked back up. Across the room he could see Monty sitting at a table with two other Skaikru. They were ostensibly playing a word game, but Bellamy knew from the looks on their faces exactly what they were discussing. He could also see, from the shakes of the heads, the ashamed and fearful eyes, that Monty was having no more luck than he had.

Several hours later, Bellamy sat with Kane and Abby at lunch.

“It’s been three days since they arrested Murphy,” Abby said flatly. “And they still won’t let Emori or me go see him or bring him supplies.”

“And no one’s making any progress,” Bellamy whispered. Since his last meeting with Kane and the others, their group had been speaking with members of Skaikru, a few at a time, whenever they could. The summary of what they heard back was simple. No one was happy here, but very few wanted the risks that went along with a fight. Less than a third said they’d consider joining an uprising, and without more people, there was no point in trying.

“When did Skaikru get so damn complacent?” Abby muttered. She’d hardly touched any of her lunch, Bellamy noted.

“Three meals a day,” Kane answered. “That goes a long way. It’s more than we were ever able to provide our people on the Ark.” He shook his head. “And as long as Murphy’s the only one of our people in prison now, they don’t believe that they’re at risk of it happening to them.”

Bellamy saw Kane and Abby exchange a look. He knew, from having spent so much time with them, that there were a few layers under that look. They both looked fearful and uncomfortable, and there was just a slight nuance in their eyes that made Bellamy think it went beyond the everyday anxieties here.

“What is it?” Bellamy asked.

Abby shook her head. “Nothing you need to know.”

Bellamy wasn’t offended at her comment. He guessed it might be a personal matter that they just didn’t want to share. But then he saw Kane sigh and give Abby a look.

“It could _become_ something he needs to be aware of,” Kane said quietly, looking at Abby.

Abby closed her eyes and nodded, as Bellamy leaned forward.

“It’s just a hunch we have,” Kane whispered. Bellamy still noticed a hesitation in Kane’s voice and saw that the chancellor’s eyes were downcast. “But there’s a risk that I might go to prison.”

“What?” Bellamy asked, somewhere between bewilderment and alarm. He silently chided himself. Nothing should be surprising here.

“One of the elders,” Abby began, “Stephen is his name. He makes excuses to stop by med bay. He looks me up and down. It’s been happening every day since Monty was released. We think he might be about to take a page from Donald’s playbook.” She glanced at Kane. “Arrest the husband so you can get the wife to do what you want.” Abby shuddered and then added, “As much as I miss Clarke, I’m glad she’s not here!”

Bellamy shook his head, as Kane continued. “We don’t know if it will happen or not. But we’re always trying to see around corners, and this seems at least…possible.”

“What do we do if that happens?” Bellamy asked, trying to think of answers himself.

“Jaha knows about it,” Kane said.

“Thelonius has been…surprisingly helpful as of late,” Abby added. For the first time since they’d sat down to lunch, Bellamy noted that Abby looked a bit relaxed now. At the mention of Jaha? That didn’t sound right to Bellamy, but Abby continued, “I’ve shared with him the situation. And I keep sharing with him how hard it’s been to not be in touch with Clarke. He’s not totally in the elders’ corner. He seems…sympathetic and understanding lately.”

“Really?” Bellamy asked, perplexed. All his life he’d seen Jaha as an enemy, and almost everything Jaha did down on earth reinforced that. He wasn’t about to raise his hopes now.

“Right,” Kane said. “Remember he lost his child, so he does empathize with what Abby’s going through in being separated from Cla-.”

Kane broke off and looked up. Andrew Cadogan was heading towards them.

“Doing a lot of whispering at this table!” Andrew said when he reached them, smirk upon his face.

“You’re welcome to join us, Andrew,” Kane replied with a smile, gesturing to the empty seat next to him.

“No thanks,” Andrew replied, still smiling. He turned and walked off.

Bellamy watched Andrew go and turned his attention back to Kane and Abby. Despite their trying circumstances, he liked their dynamic. He silently wondered if Clarke’s father had been similar to Kane, and what it had been like for Clarke to grow up with two loving parents. It was something he hadn’t known. If he ever did see Clarke again, if they ever did live in peace somewhere somehow, would they have a child or two? He shook his head. The prospect of being reunited with Clarke and living somewhere peaceful seemed about as remote as the notion of two of them ascending to Mount Olympus or being crowned Emperor and Empress right now.

Later that afternoon, Bellamy finished up his work shift. The Skaikru member on duty with him, as they cleaned the great hall’s floors and dusted its pews, refused to entertain any talk of a rebellion. “Forget it,” she’d grumbled at Bellamy. “Harper already tried to talk me into it yesterday. No way.”

Dejected but unsurprised, Bellamy returned to his room and flopped onto the bed with a book. ‘Are they right?’ he asked himself, about the majority of Skaikru who didn’t want a fight. ‘Without guns, we will suffer heavy casualties. I could be one of them. Wouldn’t that be worse for Clarke and Octavia if I’m dead? Or what if I’m fine but Abby, Monty, Harper, Emori, and Kane are all killed? And even after all these casualties, we might not actually win the battle.’

He sat on the bed and reached for his notebook, to start composing his daily letter to Clarke. He would include the questions he was just asking himself, along with the ones he’d speculated on earlier in the day about parenting. Before he could begin to write, a soft knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” Bellamy called, guessing it was a friend.

He was right. Monty entered the room.

“Hey,” Bellamy said, placing his notebook to the side.

“Hey,” Monty answered. His expression was as it usually was – serious and downcast. “Murphy’s being released today. Emori decided to give in to Donald’s demand.” Monty sat on the chair, placing his cane against the desk.

“Oh.” Bellamy wished he’d had better words, but there was almost nothing to be said. He’d talked to Emori that very morning, and she had understandably been at the end of her rope. Neither Kane nor Jaha had gotten anywhere with the elders on this; it was clear that Murphy wasn’t going to be released any time soon. If at all.

“She came by to talk to Harper about it, and they let me stay and listen,” Monty continued. “Harper said it would be the grossest thing she’d ever do. Emori kinda snorted and said that she’d done worse, and that she couldn’t stand the thought of Murphy spending another day in there.” Monty paused. “The prison cells here are horrible….” he let his voice trail off.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, his eyes downcast. Thinking about what all of his friends had experienced – or were experiencing – made his stomach clench. Monty and Murphy having been inside those cells. And what Harper and Emori were put through to get them out. There wasn’t much point in being consumed with hatred for the Second Dawn, their religion, and their elders, but it was hard not to loathe them.

“Do you, uh, want to talk about it at all?” he asked Monty. As soon as the question was out, Bellamy berated himself for not asking earlier. Monty was closest, of course, to Harper and Jasper. But Jasper was still clearly experiencing PTSD, still a shadow of his old, goofy self. Bellamy didn’t know how much comfort Jasper was able to provide Monty. And no doubt Monty had discussed the situation with Harper, but maybe he might want to talk to someone not directly involved in the situation.

“Yeah,” Monty said, looking downwards. “The whole thing just makes me feel sick. I think I feel worse than when I did when I was sitting inside that filthy cell.”

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy said, sitting forward, trying to get Monty to meet his eyes. “I kept pushing for a radio.”

“No, no,” Monty shook his head adamantly. “I want a radio too! You know I’ve always cared about Octavia and the others. I want to get back in touch with them almost as much as you do. This isn’t your fault,” he insisted firmly, looking at Bellamy. “I knew the risks when I took the parts. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t wanted to.”

“Thank you,” Bellamy said softly.

“And hey, thank you for…you know, asking if I wanted to talk. As disgusted as Harper and I feel about the whole thing, at least we’re here together. You and Clarke…” he let his voice trail off. “In fact, I should probably have asked you if you ever need someone to talk to.” He smiled, “I guess I’ve always seen you as being so tough that I forgot that you might need someone too.”

“Thanks, Monty,” Bellamy said. “You and the others help me get through this. I’m glad to have you and Harper here. We go back,” he said with a wistful laugh, thinking of how he and Monty and Harper had lived through those first insane days when the dropship landed.

The next morning, Bellamy got another knock upon his door. When he had visitors, it was always one of his close circle of friends. But today it was someone who had never been inside his room before.

Thelonius Jaha stood in the doorway. “I have a gift for you.”

***

Clarke slept as late as she could. Each night once she fell asleep – **if** she fell asleep – she did what she could to force her body to remain asleep. If she woke up, she remained in bed until she fell back asleep, employing any trick she could. She’d hold onto the remnant of a dream and try to sink back into it. She’d ignore her bladder. Anything to stay asleep longer, to make the days pass more quickly. But eventually each morning she’d have to rise, whether due to her need for food or the bathroom or the need to move her limbs.

This morning, Clarke reached for the radio, pressed the button and spoke into it. Nothing. Just as with the last thousand times. She waited. Still nothing. Clarke grabbed a piece of chalk and put another tick mark on the wall. Raven also tracked the days inside engineering, but Clarke liked to mark them off here as well. Day 33 in Arkadia II, day 31 since she’d seen Bellamy. No responses on the radios, and not one sound from above indicating that someone was trying to dig them out.

Clarke mutely grasped her radio in one hand, a towel in the other, slipped her shoes on, and headed down the hallway towards the bathroom.

As she showered, Clarke willfully turned her thoughts to pleasant ones. The Baby Discussion was the main happening in Arkadia II – apart from, of course, the daily bridge tournaments and lessons in combat and engineering. Clarke didn’t make a point of judging others’ life decisions, not when they didn’t harm anyone else. So overall she didn’t have an opinion on the Baby Discussion other than being glad that it seemed to brighten her friends’ days.

No, she corrected herself silently, it wasn’t just brightening their days. Niylah, Anne, and Jackson seemed nearly obsessed with the topic. Miller less so, but he was clearly on board with it. And each of them loved to talk about the topic, so Clarke had indeed discussed it with each of them more than once. Given their medical backgrounds, they understood the risks of childbirth. They seemed cognizant of the fact that neither couple had been together long and that raising a child was a major life undertaking. They had clearly discussed among each other how they might divvy up parental duties and handle disagreements, though as Jackson had once said ‘we expect it to evolve and change’.

“Are you concerned,” Clarke had gently asked Niylah one day, “that this desire could be coming from you and Anne and Jackson being healers? That each of you is really…you know, eager to take care of someone? And feeling sad that you don’t have that here?”

“We know,” Niylah had nodded, smiling. “We understand that all three of us are oriented that way and that could be clouding our judgment. Miller offered many times to fall down the stairs if we just wanted someone to heal.” She laughed. “I love his sense of humor – that’s a good trait for a parent.”

Clarke shared Niylah’s smile at that.

“I hope you don’t think I’m not being supportive,” Clarke had added, taking a more serious tone. “I think each of you would offer a lot to a child, and that the child would be lucky.” She took a glance at the drab walls. “It’s not the most beautiful or exciting place here, but in some ways it’s better than the Ark.”

“Thank you,” Niylah had replied. “And I agree. Where I grew up was beautiful but we were constantly at war. By the time I was 10 years old, I had already lost several uncles, aunts, and cousins in battle. Each of my friends had lost someone too. That won’t happen here.” And then, taking on an even more serious but gentle tone, she added, “What about you? When you see Bellamy again, do you think someday you’ll have a child?”

Clarke had been as shocked as Niylah at the sudden appearance of tears in her eyes.

“Oh!” Niylah had exclaimed. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to –“

“It’s okay!” Clarke insisted, forcing out a laugh. “It’s alright,” she had repeated, swiping her eye with a couple fingers. She sniffled. She then quickly got to her feet and found a reason to leave the room.

This morning in the shower, Clarke replayed that moment as well. Niylah was trying to be kind, but hearing the words “when you see Bellamy” had turned Clarke’s insides into mush and made her barriers crumble. She didn’t know when she should accept that it was likely “if”, not “when”. She didn’t know whether she **could** ever accept that.

And she hated the voice in the back of her mind telling her “You have to accept it.”

Although Clarke couldn’t say that she really enjoyed much, or anything, in life lately she did appreciate the water cascading down over her as she showered. At least that provided a pleasant sensation. A momentary distraction from the heartache that stung with each breath.

Clarke’s thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of screaming, and of someone throwing open the bathroom’s door and running up to her stall. It was Raven. She was yelling Clarke’s name. And she held a radio in her hand.

“Bellamy!” Raven exclaimed. “He’s alive!”

***

After Jaha knocked upon Bellamy’s door, he asked Bellamy to follow him to his quarters. Bellamy silently walked with the former chancellor, at a loss for words. He wished Jaha would walk faster, but the former chancellor kept his usual calm pace. At least Jaha didn’t say a word to him or try to make small talk; Bellamy tried to be thankful for that. They finally reached Jaha’s room, and once the door was opened, Bellamy saw Abby and Kane standing inside.

“What’s going on?” Bellamy asked the second the door was closed. Perplexed, he tried to brace himself for anything. He tried to deduce the situation from looking at Kane and Abby, as he understood them far better than he understood Jaha. Abby had tears in her eyes and – yet – during the second that he took in her countenance, Bellamy realized that Abby was not sad. _Were they tears of happiness?? Could they be? And there was only one thing that could be causing Abby to cry tears of happiness…_

“I built a radio,” Jaha stated simply.

As his mouth dropped open, Bellamy was dimly aware that Jaha went on to say more things. Things about how he’d become friends with several elders and even with the engineer Michael, the one who usually worked the nightshift. How he’d been given access to engineering and slowly had pieced together the rudimentary components for a radio. As Jaha spoke, he reached into a drawer and pulled the radio out.

Kane put his arm around Abby. “We just spoke to Clarke,” Kane said. “She and Octavia and the others are alive and well. We’ll leave you alone to talk to them now.”

“Just be careful to keep your voice down,” Jaha admonished. He placed the radio into Bellamy’s trembling hands, and followed Kane and Abby out into the hallway. Abby squeezed his shoulder on her way out and gave him a sweet smile. Her eyes were still wet.

As waves of shock and elation pulsed through his body, Bellamy reached for the rudimentary radio and pushed the button. “C-clarke?” he asked, his voice coming out in a rasp.

***

The second Raven had interrupted Clarke’s shower, she handed the radio to Clarke. Clarke stood dripping wet as she reached for it. She knew she should take a second to take a breath and calm herself, but she did not. She pressed the button to speak.

“This is Clarke,” she said. Somehow she kept her voice from trembling.

“Clarke! Oh thank God. It’s your mother. Bellamy’s okay. We’re all okay, they won’t let him leave here though,” Abby said the words quickly but firmly.

“Mom!” Clarke exclaimed. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Same here. Jaha is going to go get Bellamy so you can talk to him,” Abby said. “He and Monty made it back here safely.”

Clarke vaguely heard Raven say that she was going to get Octavia and share the news with her. She wasn’t sure if she even nodded to acknowledge her. She was dimly aware of the fact that she was standing naked inside a shower stall but she didn’t really care. Bellamy was alive and safe! Unable to leave the Second Dawn, but alive and safe. Clarke had mapped out every nightmarish possibility since he’d left, she had stared at her chart every day. Now she could say goodbye to the worst scenarios on it. That very fact made her heart pound with joy. Relief pulsed through her veins over and over again, and she could only fight to keep her breathing under control.

“The tower collapsed on top of us,” Clarke managed. “We can’t get out.”

“I know. Raven told us. The Second Dawn has disregarded the binding contract. They’re running this place the way they want, and that’s why they won’t let Bellamy leave.” Abby spoke each word with urgency, as if afraid they might be cut off at any time.

“Tell me everything,” Clarke insisted.

As Abby filled Clarke in, Raven soon returned with Octavia. Moments later, the rest of the bunker’s inhabitants arrived, though they all stood respectfully back, wanting to ensure that Clarke and Octavia got all the time they needed with Abby and Bellamy. Clarke then heard Abby say, “Okay, Bellamy’s coming.”

With that, Clarke and Octavia made eye contact and Octavia stepped closer to Clarke and the radio. Raven said to the others, “Let’s give them more space. I’ll fill you in on what Abby told me,” and ushered the group out of the bathroom.

Seconds later, the radio crackled and Bellamy’s voice came through. “C-clarke?”

Clarke had always loved hearing Bellamy say her name. And today, after 31 long days of drought, now she heard it again. It was Bellamy. He was alive. He hadn’t been killed by an animal who’d somehow survived the death wave, he hadn’t fallen into a pit, he hadn’t been shot by some crazed Second Dawn person - he was alive and safe. Her mother had told her moments ago the fact that Bellamy was alive, but now the beautiful sound of his nervous voice confirmed it. Clarke tried to steady herself and keep her brain on track though she really wanted to leap into the air with elation.

“We’re both here, Bellamy,” Clarke said. “Me and Octavia.”

“Hi, brother,” Octavia said with a rare smile on her face.

“I love you both so much,” Bellamy said. The love and passion clearly came through in his ragged voice.

“We love you too,” Clarke said. “I’m so relieved you’re okay.”

“We both got tears in our eyes,” Octavia admitted. Clarke glanced at her and through the wetness in her own eyes did, indeed, see the uncharacteristic tears in Octavia’s.

“Me too,” Bellamy said, his voice sounding even a bit deeper than Clarke remembered. “I miss you so much. Abby told you everything?” Upon hearing Clarke confirm that, he continued. “They won’t let us leave. They wouldn’t even let us build a radio. Monty got arrested for trying to build one. He’s out now,” he added quickly. “For some reason, Jaha built us this one. I still have no idea what made him do it.”

“But Monty’s okay now? Is everyone okay?” She took a breath. “I mean… mentally okay?”

A long second or two passed before Bellamy replied. “It’s bad here,” he admitted.

“Mom told us a lot of it,” Clarke said. “The dress code. The forced attendance at the mixer. What they did to Dawson Cooper. And – she told me about Monty and Murphy’s arrests. And how they got out.” The sentences came out fragmented and choppy; Clarke was still trying to process the sobering information while still bring thrilled that Bellamy was okay. She knew she had to temper her glee with the realization that they would somehow need to fix the situation in the other bunker.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said, the disgust and anger apparent in his voice. “We’re stuck. Skaikru.” He lowered his voice. “We tried to rally people to fight back but not enough wanted to. The Second Dawn controls all the food and all the guns.”

Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia spoke a bit more about life in their respective bunkers. Bellamy asked about Arkadia II and Clarke told him that “other than the fact that we can’t get out”, everything was fine there, with the farm, the air scrubbers, and all other aspects of engineering fully functional. Octavia mentioned that the algae farm was on track to start blooming in another three or four weeks, and asked that Bellamy share that with Monty.

The three then spent some time brainstorming solutions, but Clarke and Octavia didn’t have any ideas that Bellamy and the others hadn’t already considered a dozen times. The line of discussion was frustrating and infuriating.

“Those damn fanatics,” Octavia grumbled. She then glanced at Clarke and spoke into the radio. “I’m gonna leave you two alone. Figured you’d want some time just the two of you. I’m glad you’re okay, Bellamy.”

“Same, O,” he said. He added, even though he’d said it before, ”I love you, O.”

Clarke had been hoping that Octavia would do that, give them a bit of privacy. But she hadn’t thought that she actually would. She gave Octavia a look of pure gratitude, mouthed ‘thank you’, and watched Octavia leave the restroom. Vaguely Clarke was aware that she was starting to feel cold as she still hadn’t dried herself off from her shower, but the fact barely registered. Any physical discomforts - as well as her angry frustration at the Second Dawn - were outweighed by the sheer joy at the fact that Bellamy was alive and reasonably well.

“Tell me more about how - how you’re doing,” Clarke said, her voice soft even as she stumbled over the words a bit. “Is it hard for you?”

“I miss you every single minute,” Bellamy said. “When I got back here, our room was just the way we left it. I held off on changing the sheets for as long as I could because they kinda still had your scent.”

Clarke laughed. “I did the same thing here. It was agony not knowing if you were alive or dead.”

“I know. At first I couldn’t figure out why you and Octavia hadn’t come after me. But then I realized that last time I looked at it, the tower looked like it was gonna fall – so I had an idea that was what was keeping you away. What bad timing.”

“We had just suited up and were ready to head out when it happened. If only we’d set out an hour earlier!” Clarke said, though she realized she’d told him that earlier when they’d been recapping events. Her mind was still spinning.

Bellamy took a breath. “Sometimes I think it’s better that you’re not here. It’s still just…horrible seeing all the women forced into the dress code. Not to mention what that asshole Donald did to Harper and Emori.”

Clarke suddenly realized, “If Octavia and I were there with you, he might’ve put you in prison too. To get at us.”

“Yeah. The whole thing makes me feel sick to my stomach. We – hang on,” Bellamy’s voice suddenly got quieter. “Your mom and Jaha are back.”

Bellamy kept the radio channel open so Clarke could hear his conversation with the two former chancellors. They wisely told Bellamy that they all needed to be careful to limit their use of the radio so as to not raise any red flags in engineering. Though not an engineer, Clarke had to agree that what Jaha said made sense.

“So,” Abby spoke into the radio, “let’s say goodbye for today and talk tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Clarke said. Although she’d known that their conversation couldn’t go on forever and although she recognized the wisdom of rationing their time, she still felt a wave of sadness. “I love you, Mom. Love you, Bellamy. And - thank you Jaha.”

The group returned her sentiments and signed off.

***

He could’ve talked to Clarke for hours without stopping. But Bellamy’s desire to continue speaking with her was matched only by his worry that the radio would be discovered. So he understood that the decision to sign off for the day was a good one – in fact, it was one he would’ve made himself had Jaha and Abby not suggested it.

As he walked back to his room, Bellamy did everything he could to keep his facial expression neutral. Second Dawn members tended to stay out of the hallways connecting Skaikru’s quarters, but a few guards were always patrolling. Kane was making progress in training their guards and reducing their presence, but they were still around. So Bellamy fought hard – and even bit his lips a few times – to mask his expression.

‘Why did Jaha do it?’ he wondered, letting his thoughts run free once he reached his room. Abby had mentioned that she’d been speaking to him a lot. Maybe they’d bonded as parents, with Jaha empathizing with her desire to reach her daughter even as he could never speak to his own son again. It had probably been about 13 or 14 months now since Wells had been killed. Was the shock wearing off for Jaha, and now he just wanted to help another parent as a way to manage his own grief? `Abby and Jaha go way back, on the Ark,’ Bellamy reminded himself. He shook his head. Clarke had once raved about her mother’s skill in patching up Jaha’s intestines, the wound he’d sustained when Bellamy had shot him. Did Jaha realize he owed Abby and this was his way of paying it off?

He resolved to someday ask Abby and Kane for their take on why Jaha had done it. But what did it matter? He’d spoken to Clarke! She was alive and well. There was hope in his world now and Bellamy was overjoyed.

***

Clarke, Octavia, and Raven filled in the rest of their people during their first meal of the day. Jackson leaned forward and listened to every word Clarke spoke. Clarke didn’t take more than one or two bites of the meal. She was very thorough in recapping all that she’d been told. It was bittersweet for the group: they were glad that the others were alive and now understood about the tower collapse, but the situation inside the Second Dawn bunker was far worse than when they’d left it. And until that changed, there were no prospects for getting Arkadia II unburied. The prospect of any of their people being thrown into a Second Dawn prison at any time was unsettling.

Miller took a few glances at Jackson during the meal. He’d gotten adept at reading Jackson even though the doctor wasn’t particularly expressive. Miller scratched his head as he realized that Jackson didn’t seem quite as happy as he would’ve thought he’d be – regardless of everything else, they’d made contact with the others and that was cause for celebration. But Jackson wasn’t happy. Later, when Jackson asked a couple questions, Miller realized why.

“Did Abby seem okay?” Jackson asked. “And - did she mention me?” Jackson still, Miller observed, was leaning forward as he asked the question. His tone had dropped just a bit with the second question.

Clarke and Raven exchanged a glance before Clarke answered. “She – she didn’t mention you specifically. I think she’s fine, given the circumstances.”

Miller appreciated that Clarke didn’t lie. There had been plenty of deceitful chancellors and council members on the Ark, and Miller knew they were lucky to have someone truthful here. He saw Jackson nod in acknowledgement of Clarke’s answer, and then fall silent.

Not long afterwards, once the kitchen had been tidied, the two men began their daily stroll through the bunker.

“Are you sad?” Miller asked. “That Abby didn’t ask about you?” He decided to cut right to the chase. Jackson was good about discussing his feelings, and with the way they lived here inside this bunker, it didn’t make any sense to keep things bottled up.

“Yeah,” Jackson said with a rueful laugh. “I’m sad about it.”

Miller reached for his hand and held it as they walked. “You know that she cares about you,” he said simply. “I just think that the priority today was for Clarke to get to talk to her mom and her boyfriend, and Octavia to get to talk to her brother. Everything else had to take a backseat, you know?”

“I know,” Jackson said. His voice was steady. He held Miller’s hand but kept his gaze forward as they walked. “I know,” he repeated. He swallowed and then added, “You and I are orphans. Abby’s the only…semblance of a parent we have left. I would’ve liked to talk to her – or at least for her to tell someone she’s thinking of me. I’ve been thinking of her.”

“Yeah,” Miller nodded.

“I understand that Clarke’s her priority, and I’d never, ever see myself as anywhere near that,” Jackson said passionately. “But Abby’s been almost a mother-figure to Raven too, kind of how she was with me. Raven got time to talk with her today. I guess I wasn’t worth it.”

“Well - but that’s just because Raven was the one with the radio,” Miller said, his voice equally firm. “She was the one there to answer it when they radioed.”

Jackson took a pronounced breath. “Just say it. You think I’m being petty. Or selfish.”

Miller shrugged. “You’re hurting. It’s normal to hurt when you feel you’re feeling….forgotten.” He then added, “I just really, really don’t think she had any intention of slighting you. It was more like Clarke had to be her priority today, and that’s that. They gotta be careful with how much they use the radio since they could get caught. You heard what Clarke said over breakfast. If they get caught, they’re going to prison.” His voice took on a dark tone when he added, “You and I know better than anyone what those prisons there are like.”

Jackson was quiet, so Miller continued, “You’re still feeling snubbed. I get it, even though I understand why Abby had too much on her mind to ask about you. I really don’t think she meant to….you know, neglect you. I bet she thinks about you a lot, and not just when she wishes she worked with you.”

Miller looked at his partner and saw a small smile on his face. Jackson turned to return his gaze. “I’m glad we can disagree on something without it turning into a fight,” Jackson said. His voice was sincere and even tender.

“Me too!” Miller exhaled. “It was something Bryan and I could never do. Even on small stuff.”

“I hope he’s okay,” Jackson mused. He was quiet for a bit and then added, “I forgive him for what he did.”

“Yeah. I guess I do too,” Miller said. Mostly he was glad for the change of topic. “Don’t know if he’d ever _ask_ for forgiveness, but whatever – I’m over it now.”

“Maybe someday - if we all survive, if we somehow end up living somewhere better – we can all be friends.”

Miller’s trademark sarcasm returned. “I wouldn’t go that far,” he said with a smirk, and the two men laughed.

***

That night, Clarke slept a contented sleep. She still had the radio by her side, but she easily fell into slumber and remained there. Her dreams were vivid and even beautiful. She dreamed of Bellamy. Somehow they were living in a lush, forested settlement. Green trees, leaves, and bushes were everywhere, some of them dotted with red berries. Small, cozy houses were sprinkled throughout and if you looked inside, you could see fireplaces glowing warmly. Clotheslines held brightly colored garments out to dry. There were even potted flowers growing in shades of purple and lilac.

And sitting on the porch of one house were Clarke, Bellamy, and a little girl. They were reading to her.

When Clarke finally woke, she felt suffused with light and hope. There was absolutely nothing logical or reasonable about thinking that her dream was a precursor of the future, and yet a part of Clarke truly felt that it was.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**_Author’s Note:_ Hey guys? Is anyone reading this? I love the kudos but this sequel hasn’t had one comment. At the end of _The 12th Level_ I asked readers to let me know if they wanted more, and a lot of people said yes. Do you like this fic or is it disappointing you or what?**


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

_Thank you again to everyone who left a comment! Those comments really mean a lot to me in bringing this long story towards its conclusion._

* * *

“Tell me what you did today.”

“It was the same as yesterday.” Spoken with a laugh.

“Tell me anyway.”

Clarke and Bellamy had a daily radio ritual. They spoke post-dinnertime– it just seemed to work well, as Bellamy’s work shift was over for the day, and the two could talk before they went to bed. Sometimes being able to have their nightly conversation gave one or both pleasant dreams right afterwards.

“You first,” Bellamy said. Clarke heard lightness in his voice. “Tell me everything.”

“Okay,” Clarke said, smiling. She sat on her bed, her legs stretched out in front of her. “I’ll tell you everything about Day 93 inside Arkadia II.” Clarke silently added that it was Day 91 without Bellamy. “I woke up. Didn’t remember having any dreams last night. I slept well. Overall.” With a wry laugh she added, “It’s boring as hell down here but no one’s trying to spear me and no AIs are trying to end me. So sleep is still working out pretty well.” She didn’t need to add that sleep would be better if he were by her side. They both knew that, and said it almost every day.

Bellamy gave a slight chuckle at that, and Clarke continued. She loved when he shared every detail of his day, so she did the same for him. “Um, so then I stretched. I stretched really well. It’s nice to not have any injuries. Nothing’s even sore. Then I showered. The water temperature is perfect here.”

“I remember that,” Bellamy said. “Here the water’s always just a bit too cold. The soap’s better here though.”

“Yeah, you got better soap there. So, um, after my shower? I went back to my room and got dressed and went to check on engineering. Raven wasn’t there yet. But everything was fine. Then I went to check on the farms. Octavia was there. The soybeans and algae looked good and we harvested some for breakfast. The food we took from the bunker is all gone now except for one tin of dried basil. Oh, I told you that before, right?”

“You did. I’m so glad the farms are doing well. Never would’ve seen Octavia as a farmer.”

“She’s good too. She likes it in there a lot.” Clarke paused. “I know I told you that before too.”

“It’s okay. I like hearing that, so you can repeat that every day if you want,” Bellamy insisted.

Clarke went on to share the rest of her day with him. She and Octavia brought the soybeans and algae to the kitchen, and although it was technically Raven’s turn to prepare the meal, Raven didn’t have much love for cooking. Anne was always in the mess hall before breakfast and generally volunteered to help with – or just **do** – the cooking for anyone who wanted. By the time the food was ready, everyone had gathered in the mess hall except for Raven, so Clarke went to get her. The group ate their first of two meals together, as they always did. (“We’re kinda jealous that you guys get three meals a day,” Clarke had said more than once, but she and Bellamy had always agreed that Arkadia II still had it better. Less food, but no Second Dawn).

After breakfast, the group stayed in the mess hall for their daily bridge game. Then it was time for combat training. (“I never guessed that Niylah would be such a bad ass,” Clarke commented. “She’s progressed way more than I would’ve thought.”) After that, the group took a break from each other. (“I like the people here but I need some alone time,” Clarke said, and Bellamy agreed that he felt the same way about his people inside the Second Dawn bunker). Clarke went on to draw. (“I used paper today and one of the pencils that I brought from the Second Dawn bunker but it’s just a stub and really hard to hold now.” Bellamy didn’t need to ask what she was drawing. They discussed that topic every day, and Bellamy knew that **he** usually was the subject of her drawing).

Then it was time for daily engineering lessons. “Jackson does great in there,” Clarke said. “Miller and Niylah are doing okay but this is never gonna be either one’s strong suit.”

Before the second and final meal of the day, the group had instituted “story time” – each day someone had to tell a story. It could be something they’d read, something they made up, or something they’d lived through. Most of the group seemed to look forward to this the most. “It was my turn today,” Clarke said. “I decided to tell them about Mount Weather. Everything from the moment I woke up there to the moment we got Miller and the others out.”

Bellamy replied, “I bet that took hours.”

Clarke confirmed, “It did. It helped pass the time. I didn’t mind talking about it, either. I told them everything, even the horrible parts.” She shook her head. “Sometimes it feels like it all happened to someone else. It was good to talk about it, in a way. Talking about it somehow makes it all feel less bad. Miller and Jackson thanked me over and over again, saying that Miller would be dead if it weren’t for what I did.”

“They’re right,” Bellamy insisted.

“Yeah,” Clarke said, and she knew her voice belied the fact that the wounds were still there. She didn’t want to dwell on them right this minute though. She needed to hear how Bellamy’s day had gone. So she continued on with her recap. “So, after story time. Jackson and Anne made dinner. Squash and beans. We talked during dinner about The Baby Plan. Of course. We talk about it every day,” she smiled. “Jackson’s implant might already have worn off, so they’re going to start trying soon but they didn’t say when yet.”

“Nathan Miller a dad someday,” Bellamy commented, sounding bemused.

“They’re all still excited about it. It kinda makes everyone else excited too.” Clarke paused and added, “So that was it. I went back to my room and I drew again until it was time to call you. I don’t need to say that I count down the hours until it’s time.”

Bellamy asked a few follow-up questions about things Clarke had said, mostly checking to see if she wanted to talk about anything else from the Mount Weather era. Then he started to go through his day. This was their ritual, sharing their daily events with each other. Instead of doing a sequential recap, Bellamy tended to start out by sharing anything that had caused an emotional high or low.

However, life inside the Second Dawn bunker had been steady as of late, without much emotional turbulence for Bellamy. The elders Donald and Stephen had backed off – since the incident with Murphy and Emori, no one else had been framed and thrown in prison. Bellamy and the others didn’t know what had caused the elders to stop. They theorized that Cadogan had found out about what Donald had done and put a stop to it, since their religion preached against adultery. Could Cadogan have made them feel bad about their actions, and did Cadogan himself feel guilty about having been oblivious to it? No one knew.

Kane and Jaha were still being permitted to occasionally sit in during meetings with the elders, and Kane was still playing a role in training the Second Dawn’s guard.

The root problems, however, remained. No one was being permitted to leave the bunker. And even if Bellamy had been allowed to do so, he had no feasible way to dig out Arkadia II. The Second Dawn bunker didn’t have a Factory Station such as had been on the Ark. Digging out Arkadia II would be a manual job using only the rudimentary tools available and requiring untold amounts of supplies such as people, food, medication, a sealable chem tent that could be used as a base, and much more.

“I don’t suppose there’s been any interest in our idea,” Clarke said dejectedly.

“Kane still thinks it’s ridiculous. So does your mom,” Bellamy answered.

“I think the elders would go for it – if we could get enough people to volunteer,” Clarke insisted.

Clarke and Bellamy had brainstormed many ideas for getting Skaikru some leverage over the Second Dawn. Knowing that the Second Dawn ultimately wanted genetic diversity, Clarke and Bellamy’s idea involved making an offer to the Second Dawn. They would find 20 members of Skaikru who were willing to marry 20 members of the Second Dawn – in exchange for Bellamy getting all the supplies he needed to dig out Arkadia II.

Bellamy had been running it by a few people. Most agreed with Kane and Abby - even if they could find 20 people, it didn’t seem likely that the elders would agree to it.

“Two guys told me they’d consider it today,” Bellamy said.

“They did?” Clarke asked, excitedly. This was their biggest problem – what incentive would any members of Skaikru have to do this? Why would anyone want to marry someone who was essentially a member of a cult, someone with vastly different beliefs? “Who?” Clarke asked.

“One was Rahman. I think he’s lonely. I think he’s never met anyone he connected with in Skaikru.”

Clarke nodded, though Bellamy couldn’t see it. Rahman was about 50, a widower whose only child had died on the Ark years ago. He seemed like a decent guy.

“The other was Ed.”

“Ed?” Clarke asked. “He always keeps to himself so much. Also, I thought he was only into guys.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure why but he said he was open to marrying a Second Dawn woman. Maybe he’s just lonely too. Maybe he worries about going to prison, but – well, Bryan’s been out for a while, and the Second Dawn hasn’t put any of our other people in prison for that since. So I don’t know.”  
  
“Yeah.”

They were both quiet for a few moments. Getting 18 more candidates would be nearly impossible, and it still didn’t mean that the Second Dawn would agree to anything.

“Kane still thinks the idea is crazy and I should stop asking people,” Bellamy summarized.

“Maybe it is crazy, but we need to do something!” Clarke said. “We’re just about out of other ideas.” The idea of violently overtaking the Second Dawn had gone nowhere – no one wanted to risk the casualties. Clarke herself couldn’t support that idea, not as long as the Second Dawn controlled the armory. She didn’t want Bellamy or anyone else to get killed.

But it was a moot point. As Kane had summarized so well, Skaikru had three meals a day inside the Second Dawn bunker. They would put up with annoyances such as the dress code and mandatory church attendance in exchange for the food.

Clarke and Bellamy continued to talk more. They were always good about sharing the radio with others though, so they made plans for who should start with the radio next time. Abby liked to connect with Raven and Jackson. Octavia, of course, had her time to speak with Bellamy – as did Miller. Other combinations happened sporadically – Octavia and Monty or Raven and Monty. Clarke spoke with her mother regularly. The group had been lucky; the Second Dawn still didn’t seem at all aware of the radio.

Sometimes Clarke and Bellamy ended their daily conversations on a hopeful note. Whoever was in a better mood might insist to the other that they would figure something out, that sooner or later they’d find a feasible solution. As they winded down their conversation today, neither felt especially optimistic. So they left their farewells at simple declarations of love.

“I love you,” Bellamy said softly.

“I miss you so much,” Clarke said. “I love you.”

***

Engineering lessons were over for the day, and Raven left engineering for her combat training with Octavia after telling the class that they did well today. Miller, Jackson, Niylah and Anne remained seated inside the room, listening to the whir of the air scrubbers, surrounded by the blinking equipment that Raven lovingly cared for.

“So,” Niylah began, looking around the room. “Should today be the day?”

Jackson and Miller exchanged a look. Jackson was pleased with how easily he could sense Miller’s feelings, even from small things like the way he breathed or the way he sat. They’d been together for almost nine months now – four of them now spent living in Arkadia II, and before that almost the full five months that they’d lived with the Second Dawn.

 _Nine months,_ Jackson thought. _The amount of time, give or take, of human gestation._

“We’re really doing this, huh?” Miller asked, leaning forward in his seat and surveying the others’ faces. Jackson met his partner’s look with a supportive nod.

“It’s all we’ve talked about since we got here,” Anne said, with a smile. “And we’ve gone over every possible downside.” She paused. “But should we go over them again just to make sure we’re all really comfortable?”

“Why not?” Jackson replied. “Let me see if I can get them all. Childbirth is dangerous. We might be down here for the rest of our lives. The kid will never know romantic love like we do, unless we do somehow get out of here. The kid will never see a….a lake or a sunset. What did I miss?” he asked, looking at the three other faces.

“The four of us might disagree and argue,” Niylah supplied. “And neither couple has been together that long.” She smiled and took a breath. “I think those are all the major ones.”

“Should we cover the flip side of each one?” Miller asked, his expression thoughtful.

Jackson looked at Miller and guessed that he – just like Jackson himself – could recite these at any time. He liked that Miller had been taking it very seriously. Jackson guessed that this might feel like the final round of checks before launching a rocket into space.

“Let’s,” Niylah said, with a slight smile and a tilt of the head. “Childbirth is no more dangerous here than it would’ve been for me in Trikru – from a medical standpoint, that is. And at least here I don’t have to worry about Azgeda raiding my village while I’m in labor!”

“And the child will have lots of love and attention here,” Anne added. “Maybe never any romantic love if we’re not able to get out of this bunker. But lots and lots of love from his or her parents and aunts. That has to be worth almost as much as the love of a husband or wife.”

“And we still might get out someday,” Niylah added with a shrug, though the prospects for that looked increasingly dim - unless Bellamy or Kane could work out an agreement with the Second Dawn.

“And as for not having any nature here, three out of the four of us never saw a lake either, growing up,” Jackson contributed.

Miller grinned and added, “We saw some great sunsets on the Ark but were too busy worrying about getting floated to actually enjoy them.”

Jackson shared a bemused smile with him over that.

“And sure, the four of us are bound to disagree on some things,” Jackson said. “There are always conflicts whenever the human race is involved. But as long as we keep communicating with each other, we can manage them.”

Earlier the group had sat down and discussed their thoughts on how to raise and discipline a child. Jackson had taken notes on their discussion. At one point Raven had asked if she could see the notes, and her response had only been a raise of her eyebrows and the comment, ‘You guys are very thorough.’

“Life is worse without things like lakes and sunsets,” Niylah concluded. “But it’s better in many ways. No elders telling us how to live and imprisoning those who disagree. No battles with Azgeda, no Sky Box.”

“And – heaven forbid – if something happens to one of us,” Anne said, tilting her head upwards, “the child will still have three parents.”

“And three great aunts,” Miller added.

Jackson nodded at that. He never would’ve viewed Clarke, Raven, or Octavia as particularly maternal but all three seemed curious and interested in their plans. He wasn’t sure if that was just due to the general boredom of life down here or due to anything more, but he agreed with Miller’s assessment. All three would make great aunts.

And he was confident that Miller would make a great dad. He had the best sense of humor out of the four prospective parents, a trait which Jackson would always adore in him. And Jackson viewed Miller as wise beyond his years.

The group was quiet for a few moments. They each looked around the room.

“I’m ready to do this,” Miller said.

“Me too,” Jackson said. Niylah and Anne affirmed their agreement as well.

Based on Niylah’s cycle, they knew that today and the next two days would be good ones for her to conceive, so the eager group made plans accordingly.

***

_**Five Months Since the Tower Collapsed – Abby** _

I’m torn. Some days I’m just relieved that Clarke’s not here, but other days I miss her so much and I wish she were here, even if that’s selfish.

You never get used to the dress code here. I hate putting on that horrible dress every morning. I never used to think about what I was wearing, but it’s a slap in the face having to see every single woman here wearing these shifts. I’m glad Clarke isn’t having to experience this. And I don’t want her to see me like this.

But ever since they let John Murphy out of prison and that elder Stephen has stopped eyeing me, it’s been quiet here. I think Skaikru is lulled by that. Life hasn’t been this simple for any of us for a long time. Marcus and I have never before gotten to spend this much time together, and without dealing with a major crisis. Sometimes we just sit together in the library holding hands, and I forget about the Second Dawn for a few minutes, and life feels good.

And I have a clean, well-stocked med bay that I run – thankfully Dr. Jones shows up less and less often, he’s utterly useless anyway – and I get to talk to Clarke nearly every day. I do miss having a colleague like Jackson, and I miss Raven of course.

Maybe it really is better that Clarke’s not here. She’d hate the submission that the dress code implies. And I don’t trust the Second Dawn, not for a minute. I’ll never forget how my heart dropped to the floor when I saw John after his release from prison. And Monty. And what their girlfriends did to get them out. The emotional scars are still there. Just because things have been quiet lately doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way. So it’s better that Clarke’s not here.

***

_**Six Months Since the Tower Collapsed – Raven** _

I’m about as far from taking another space walk as possible. Have I really spent almost a frigging year living underground?? First with the Second Dawn idiots and now here.

I got my own engine room here though, that’s good. And no Second Dawn men to boss me around and put my ideas down. If I never see another Second Dawn moron for as long as I live, that wouldn’t bother me one bit.

I got a group of learners here. Wanted to say ‘eager’ learners, but they’re mostly just bored. They do listen though and they try. Clarke and Jackson might be great at math and science but I’m still always going to be the best engineer here.

I talk to Monty at least once a week. I like the way his mind works. And sometimes I talk to Abby or Murphy or Emori. It’s good to talk to someone other than the same six faces that I see every day. Murphy’s not much of a conversationalist though. Not sure what I was expecting there.

With all this free time I have now, since I’m not just struggling to stay alive anymore, everything I lost the past few years just hits harder though. Sometimes the pain throws me for a loop. I lost people, I lost things like being outside in nature, and I lost almost the rest of the human race. Unless there are other people, somewhere with their own bunkers. Some days it’s hard when I think of everything and everyone I lost.

I remember the Finn back on the Ark, the good Finn who shared his rations with me. The Finn that didn’t cheat on me, the one that didn’t lose his mind and kill a bunch of innocent people. I know that guy’s been gone a while – long before Clarke stabbed him - but some days I can’t stop thinking of him and I miss him. Sinclair. Sometimes I just talk to Sinclair in my head. If he hadn’t died, would he be here with me? He was always loyal to Kane, but I bet if I’d asked him to come with me to Arkadia II, he would’ve. Weird that some days I miss him more than Finn. I don’t think about Wick too much – that whole thing was just a mistake. Right now it’s good not to have a boyfriend or anyone to lose my heart to.

It’s boring down here though, can’t lie. I never cared that much about babies but even I’m eager for Niylah to get pregnant already.

Sometimes I think it’s weird that this place is called Arkadia II. We were talking about its name during our story time today. Octavia said she never felt a part of the Ark or the first Arkadia, Niylah’s a grounder, and Anne never set foot inside the first Arkadia. But we kept the name because we never came up with anything better.

Yeah, so we’re bored enough that we sometimes take something that deserves ten minutes of conversation and turn it into two hours of conversation.

I invented a new card game. I just need to teach it to the others, and the game’s not easy so this might take a while.

We’re still waiting for Bellamy to figure out a way to get here and dig us out. Just over four years now till the ground will be survivable again, and I want to be able to open that hatch when it’s time.

Even though what we saw outside after the death wave was pretty ugly.

***

**_Seven Months Since the Tower Collapsed – Harper_ **

Kane still doesn’t think it will go anywhere, but we’ve been working with Bellamy to make his and Clarke’s plan happen. We’re up to 13 now. Thirteen Skaikru men who have said they’ll marry a Second Dawn woman. When we get to 15, we’re going to insist that Kane offer the deal to Cadogan. Then maybe we can get out of here, and we can get Bellamy reunited with Clarke. I don’t look forward to spending months living in a chem tent and a hazmat suit, taking anti-radiation drugs just so I can go the bathroom or drink water occasionally, but if that’s what it takes, then we’ll do it.

I guess I don’t need to say why it’s all Skaikru men who are willing to try this, and no Skaikru women. We’ve been here a whole year now and I’m never going to get used to the Second Dawn’s ideas about marriage. About women. There’s not a Skaikru woman here who’s going to marry a man who expects her to just obey all the time. Even with our guys though, we’ve had to be really careful that none of them feels like they’re being used as a bargaining chip.

Speaking of marriage, I still kind of smile when I think that Monty and I are “married”. If the Second Dawn people have caught on to the fact that many of our couples just said we were married so we can share a room, they haven’t said anything about it. It should feel really, really weird to be 18 and “married”, but it’s never felt at all weird to be married to Monty. In fact, I don’t think anything has ever felt quite this right.

I think back to all the times I realized how much I loved Monty. Like when he gave me tea in Mount Weather after another bone marrow torture session. (Is it any wonder that I want to get the hell out of here, away from the Second Dawn crazies who aren’t that different from the Mount Weather crazies?) Or that time when we’d just had sex and Monty was the one who did the thing that took guts – asked if I wanted to be more than friends with benefits. Watching him leave here with the others for Arkadia II was horrible, and I don’t know how I got through the next few days waiting for him. I didn’t sleep at all. One night I just walked up and down the hallway. Then – he and Bellamy came back and I saw that injury on his ankle and I realized again how much I love him. Even just seeing how Monty is with Jasper, how he never gives up on his best friend and wants him to be okay, how he does what he can to help him with his depression.

Then there was the time he got arrested here. Monty and I talked about it and what happened afterwards a lot. I don’t know if I’m at peace with it. Mostly I don’t want to think or talk about it anymore.

Our birth control implants are probably going to run out in about a year or so. Abby’s been talking to most of the couples here. The Second Dawn’s only birth control method is the calendar method. They have to track their cycles and only have sex on certain days. And apparently I’m gonna be bleeding out of my vagina a few times every month.

***

Miller walked alongside Jackson towards the mess hall that morning, the morning which had begun like any other. Just like both days, the couple had taken their time before rising from bed – a luxury which neither had ever experienced until Arkadia II. They always made the most of it here. They would either cuddle or have sex or just talk, delaying the start of the day, enjoying their time in bed.

This morning they had then showered and dressed, much like any other morning. Miller’s stomach was doing what it usually did – growling and demanding food. At last they deemed it late enough to head for the mess hall and see if Anne wanted any help in preparing breakfast. (She usually did not, but it never hurt to ask. Anne just liked preparing the meals and usually did them all solo now).

As soon Miller and Jackson rounded the bend and entered the kitchen area, they saw Anne and took in the look on her face. She grinned, bit her lip, and turned away, ostensibly to return to chopping vegetables.

Miller’s eyebrows raised and his mouth dropped open. “Anne?” he asked, stretching her name out for more than one syllable. “What does that look on your face mean?”

“Oh nothing,” Anne said, clearly forcing her shoulders upwards in an attempt to shrug. She then broke out into a full grin and a gleeful expression. “Only that Niylah is sick to her stomach this morning!”

Miller looked at Jackson. He saw Jackson’s open mouth mirroring his own.

“Now let’s not get too excited,” Jackson said a second later, clearly still digesting the information. He held his hands out in front of him and turned to look at Anne. “There could be a hundred reasons why she’s nauseated.”

“Yeah, except for the fact that this is the first time - in the seven-and-a-half months that she’s lived here – that she’s puking! And in the morning, no less!” Anne said, bouncing up on her heels slightly.

Miller watched the two of them. He was grinning from ear to ear now and had to fight the urge to bounce a little himself. He settled for tapping Jackson on the chest lightly. “C’mon, Jacks. It’s gotta at least be a good sign, right?” Miller knew his heart was beating rapidly. They had “done the thing” (no one other than Jackson liked calling it “insemination”, so they usually used words like “the thing” to describe the procedure) several times during the past two and a half months. Had it finally worked??

“I would say that it means it’s **possible** that she’s pregnant, yes,” Jackson conceded. “But let’s not get our hopes up too high. Even if she is pregnant now, early miscarriages are very common.”

Miller continued to smile and put an arm around Jackson. “Okay, yes, fine, whatever you say, doctor. But I still think she’s pregnant, and I’m celebrating!”

“Me too!” Anne exclaimed. “She’s said to me last night that she feels different, and then this morning….she’s all nauseated!” The three stepped into a group hug.

Octavia entered the kitchen a few seconds later and took in the scene. “Let me guess,” she deadpanned. “Niylah’s in the bathroom throwing up.”

Raven entered on Octavia’s heels. She rolled her eyes. “Okay, come on everyone, calm down.”

***

“We finally have 15.”

Those were the first words that Bellamy spoke to Clarke on their daily talk.

“Fifteen?” Clarke echoed eagerly. “So Owen finally agreed??”

“He did. Told me just now that he’d do it,” Bellamy said. He smiled as he held the radio, and his eyes shone. “We have 15 grooms for 15 brides. Now we just need the Second Dawn to agree to this crazy plan.”

Bellamy heard Clarke laughing. “This is the craziest thing we’ve ever done,” she said.

It wasn’t the first time they’d exchanged the sentiment. “And that’s saying a lot,” Bellamy answered.

He sat on his bed, clutching the radio. Hearing Clarke’s voice, even only through the radio, was the highlight of his day. Every day.

Bellamy had another ritual he’d sometimes undertake, another way to give his day a boost. When handing off the radio to Abby, he would sometimes softly ask, “Can I see….?” He didn’t need to say anything more. Abby would walk to the desk inside her room, open a drawer, and carefully take out a folder. She would hand the folder to Bellamy, who would reverently receive it. He would slowly open it and look at the drawing. It was a drawing Clarke had made, of course – this time, it was a drawing of Clarke herself.

She’d never made one for Bellamy because they hadn’t expected to be apart like this.

It was now nearly eight entire months since Bellamy had left Arkadia II for the Second Dawn bunker. Nearly eight months since he’d seen Clarke. The drawing of her was the only visual he had.

Jasper had asked him something at lunch today. “You ever think you’ll just fall out of love with her? Or go for someone else? It’s been a long time.”

If it had been almost anyone else, Bellamy knew his response would have been harsh. But Bellamy had pulled the lever along with Clarke, had killed Maya and all of her people to save his own. Plenty of Skaikru rolled their eyes when the subject of Jasper Jordan came up, plenty said he should “toughen up” and “stop moping around”. But Bellamy, like Monty, always had a soft spot for Jasper. He had always tried to understand how depression worked and show empathy.

So he’d answered the younger man quietly and sincerely, and without umbrage. “No, I don’t think so.” Jasper hadn’t responded to that, and there had been silence for a while. So Bellamy had added, “Clarke and me – we have a connection. I can’t explain it. Just a really strong connection, like magnets.”

Bellamy had braced himself for Jasper to retort with something along the lines of, ‘Yeah, me and Maya had a connection too but you took that away’, but he didn’t. Jasper had just squeezed Bellamy’s arm and went back to eating his lunch.

Bellamy would share the interaction with Clarke when he recapped his day for her. But the news of having landed 15 bridegrooms was the most important news in months.

“What made Owen finally agree?” Clarke asked.

“Your mom spoke to him. I don’t think she explicitly said anything about the time she saved his daughter but….well that’s our best guess as to why he agreed.”

Bellamy and Clarke went over the list of the potential grooms. Each had in mind a Second Dawn woman they’d agree to marry, in most cases someone they had met at the mixer. Very few of the Skaikru potential grooms were young. Most were at least 35 years old, and some a couple decades older than that, men whose wives and girlfriends had died either on the Ark or when it went down. A few were men who’d never had a romantic relationship before. Some appeared socially awkward or just very shy. Bellamy and Clarke weren’t sure if the elders would find any of these factors a sticking point and tell them to come back with 15 younger or more ordinary men. They truly didn’t know how the elders would react at all. Kane hadn’t wanted to take the idea to the elders until they had 15 firm commitments.

But Kane and Jaha had said, yes, now that they had the numbers they would take the proposal to the elders the next day.

One of the 15 grooms was a man who’d agreed to do it a few days ago – Jaha. The news that Jaha would be marrying a Second Dawn woman was met with much bemusement in both Arkadia II and among Bellamy’s close circle.

Once they had gotten over the fact that Jaha was one of the volunteers, Bellamy and Clarke continued to discuss the overall plan. Clarke had even drawn a map on a wall with each elder’s name and - based on what they knew of them – each one’s potential reaction.

“They saved us from Praimfaya because they wanted our genes,” Bellamy said. He knew his voice was insistent. “This is the first time they’ve had a chance to actually get those genes. It has to work.”

“You sound excited.”

“I am,” Bellamy replied. “It’s been our best shot so far.”

“I’m excited too.” There was a note of finality in Clarke’s voice, and Bellamy guessed that topic was winding down for the day. He knew they didn’t have a lot of time left tonight to talk.

“How’s Niylah?” he asked.

“Still pregnant as far as we can tell.” They didn’t have a pregnancy test in Arkadia II, but Niylah continued to show many signs of being pregnant. Fatigue, nausea, headaches, swollen breasts – and no menstrual period.

“A lot of it doesn’t look that much fun,” Clarke said, her voice somewhere between caring and bemused. “She said the fatigue especially is no joke, and that she’d never have thought her breasts could hurt this much!”

Bellamy fully understood that it was far too soon to talk with Clarke about having a baby someday – and definitely not a conversation to have over the radio. It wasn’t the right time or place. But Clarke had shared with him the dream she’d had three times now, the dream of the two of them living in a peaceful valley and raising a daughter. Bellamy himself– more than once – had a dream along those lines as well. He wasn’t sure if he’d dreamt about it too because Clarke’s recaps had been so vivid or because of something else.

Each time one of them dreamed about it, they’d compare notes. The dreams were similar but different. Perhaps Clarke might dream that the three of them were the only people living in the valley, but then Bellamy would dream that they lived in a community with hundreds of others. Or Bellamy might dream of them fishing and farming for food, while Clarke’s dream might show them hunting. Clarke’s last dream had again shown flowers all around in purple and lilac, whereas Bellamy’s had prominently featured red flowers.

But their dreams were aligned, and if the elders agreed to their plan, then Clarke and Bellamy might be reunited soon.

***  
 **TBC**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

“Hey, Clarke, are you there?”

Clarke startled just a bit at the sound of Bellamy’s voice over the radio’s static. Although the radio was strapped to her body (or on her nightstand during bedtime) 24/7 other than when she showered, she and Bellamy stuck to a schedule. They spoke late in the day, before lights out. But right now, it was several hours before bedtime. Clarke and the others were sitting in the mess hall, leisurely finishing up their second and last meal of the day.

Within an instant, Clarke knew Bellamy wouldn’t be calling unless he had news. The others exchanged glances and eagerly looked at Clarke as she adroitly grabbed the radio from her belt.

“We’re here, Bellamy,” Clarke said. “Just finishing up dinner. You got news?”

Octavia leaned forward in her seat, her eyes glued to the radio.

“They said yes!” Bellamy said.

Cheers broke out in the mess hall. Clarke knew her eyes were lit up and that she was grinning. “The elders agreed to the plan?” she echoed, somewhere between surprised and thrilled.

“I just got finished talking with Kane. They agreed to it. We’re gonna get everything we need to head your way and dig out the rubble.”

“There has to be a catch,” Octavia muttered.

Unsure if Bellamy had heard his sister’s words, Clarke opened her mouth to formulate the question, just as Bellamy spoke again. “They had two requirements. One was that the grooms and their children stay with the Second Dawn, even once the earth is inhabitable again. We expected that – it makes sense anyway. Their other requirement is that we wait until the ceremonies are conducted. Three weeks. They want three weeks to prepare. It will be one, big, group wedding.”

“What the hell do they need three weeks for?” Raven asked. “Does it take that long to bake more of those special deserts they had at the stupid mixer??”

Bellamy chuckled at Raven’s humor. “Kane and I debated about pushing them to shorten the time frame. But they said it’s part of their religion. Couples have to spend time praying and talking with elders. They also want to double check the matches and make sure everyone’s okay with them.” He paused and added with something that sounded like a groan, “Mostly they want to make sure that the fathers of the requested brides are okay with it.”

Although she didn’t find that part unexpected, Clarke still felt coldness at the pit of her stomach. “I hope none of our people back out.” She paused. “And I hate that the women don’t seem to get much say in this.”

“Same,” Bellamy said.

Anne spoke up and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Second Dawn women rarely get any say in who they marry.” As Anne had shared with the group before, the lack of genetic diversity within the Second Dawn had saved her from a forced marriage. Too many prospective husbands for her were distant cousins of hers. The ones who weren’t related to her had always preferred more docile, prettier brides – a fact which had enabled Anne to dodge marriage over the years.

“I still worry about our people backing out,” Clarke said. She inwardly winced as she spoke the words. She knew she should be equally concerned about the Second Dawn women and their limited choices in life. There just wasn’t much she could do about it.

“We’ll keep talking to them,” Bellamy promised. “Your mom and Harper have been….especially persuasive.” Bellamy had shared that with Clarke before. Clarke had expected that her mom would be convincing; Harper’s persuasiveness was more of a surprise. “You know half of them are like Owen, your mom took care of them or a loved one at one point or another.”

Clarke took a breath. She would never be comfortable living in the world of “no good choices”. She needed the deal to go through, needed to see Bellamy again – even though she didn’t like the thought of people undertaking such a major life decision mainly because they felt indebted.

Raven happened to be sitting next to Clarke and put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey. They want to do it,” she said firmly, as if reading Clarke’s mind. “No one’s forcing them.”

Jackson leaned forward and added, “It’s normal for people to want to find a partner. Someone to share their life with. This might end up being a good thing for many of them.” He glanced at Miller, and Miller smiled and reached to hold his hand.

Clarke glanced at them, and then glanced at Niylah and Anne. At least Niylah and Anne were proof that a Skaikru/Second Dawn pairing could work, although theirs wasn’t rooted in the Second Dawn’s odious sexism. And besides, Clarke knew that child abuse ran rampant among the Second Dawn; her mother and all the medical people here had seen its impacts with their own eyes. Having one Skaikru parent had to considerably reduce the risk of child abuse, and that was a real benefit.

“I’ll keep you posted,” Bellamy said.

Clarke tried to gage how high she should raise her hopes. Could this really happen? Three weeks for wedding preparations, then a couple days for Bellamy and a team to drive here -- and then weeks or months of hard labor for them to dig. That last part was the biggest unknown. If the team was lucky, they’d uncover the opening soon. If they were unlucky, the excavation could drag on for months and months. Bellamy’s supplies might get drained, they might have to return to the Second Dawn bunker for more. He’d had such a bad reaction to the anti-radiation drugs the first time too, and this would be backbreaking work for him.

And the elders might change their minds before Bellamy ever left. They had been sporadic and inconsistent before.

And before that, any one of the prospective grooms might change his mind. Would the elders still go through with it, if Skaikru had only 14 grooms? Or 13? How many could back out before the elders called the whole thing off?

If there was one thing Clarke had experienced during her time on earth, it was disappointment. Unexpected twists and hardships. And yet, she still couldn’t help but to be excited. When she went to sleep that night, the bed felt less cold. She could imagine Bellamy’s arms around her, think about the sensation of his lips against hers, remember looking into his eyes and watching him smile. It **would** happen again, she promised herself. And that thought gave her what she needed to get through another day.

***

Life continued on in Arkadia II as normal. Niylah’s pregnancy progressed, and her nausea fortunately abated. Radio conversations were held each day, and everything seemed to be moving forward with the group wedding. The card game that Raven invented caught on, though some in the group preferred bridge, others preferred easier games.

“Can’t wait to see Bellamy again. And Harper and Monty.”

Miller made the declaration to Jackson as they were getting ready for bed.

Jackson appeared equally enthusiastic, and replied, “Me too.”

Part of the reason for both men’s eagerness was simply the fact that each day they interacted with only the same people. **Everyone** in Arkadia II was excited about the prospect of new company.

And new company is what they would have. The agreement with the Second Dawn specified that the group leaving for Arkadia would consist of Bellamy, Monty, Harper, Jasper, Murphy, and Emori. Fortunately Monty’s ankle and Murphy’s arm had fully healed. The couples were as eager to leave as Bellamy was, given how Monty and Murphy had been locked up. Last time the Second Dawn had wanted Monty to stay behind for his engineering skills. But the elders seemed confident now that Jaha knew as much as Monty – and they preferred Jaha anyway, viewing him as loyal since he hadn’t taken part in the rebellion and would indeed be marrying one of their women. So they didn’t push back when Monty’s name was submitted as a candidate to leave. Jasper hadn’t particularly wanted to leave, but Monty and Harper had been firm with him – firm that they were leaving and firm that they’d like him to come along. He eventually agreed. He hadn’t fared well when Monty had been imprisoned, and he didn’t want that to happen again so he understood that getting away from the Second Dawn was a good thing.

“I miss him,” Miller said, kicking his shoes off. “Bellamy. I mean, when he gets here he’s gonna spend most of his time with Clarke and Octavia, but I still look forward to seeing him.”

“I love that you have…a friend,” Jackson smiled. “A peer. You and Bellamy are similar in some ways, and I like that you have that sort of friendship.”

Miller nodded. “I know you’re missing **your** peer.” He added awkwardly, “Well I know the word ‘peer’ doesn’t really cut it.”

Jackson still talked to Abby occasionally, but usually when Abby had the radio, Niylah requested to speak with her. After all, Abby was not only a doctor but she had also experienced childbirth firsthand. Jackson and Anne had delivered many babies, but Niylah most enjoyed speaking with someone who had actually been pregnant.

“Yeah,” Jackson said, looking down. Miller settled in next to him on the bed, and Jackson then reached to turn off the light. “It’s just weird,” he admitted. “Being without Abby. I still feel like I’m missing a part of me.”

“You’re just not used to it,” Miller said simply. “What’s the longest you’ve been apart from her before this? When the Ark first went down?”

“Right. They had us separate, each go down with a different station – so there’d be a better chance of at least one doctor surviving,” Jackson said, his voice far away. “When we landed, I hated not knowing where she was or if she was even alive but….well, I was still partly in shock and spending every waking moment treating the wounded so….” His voice drifted off.

“You didn’t have too much time to miss her,” Miller finished for him. “To really feel the loss.”

Jackson was quiet for several moments. “I know it sounds silly. If she would just ask how I was doing more or….or something like that, it would make this easier.”

“Doesn’t sound weird at all,” Miller said, reassuringly. Wordlessly the two men fell into their usual, spooned sleeping style. “I’m sure she means to. Just with Clarke here, and with her and Kane having to deal with the Second Dawn, that just takes up a lot of her mental space.”

Even as Miller said the words, he really wished that Abby would make more of an effort. He couldn’t remember if she’d even bothered to tell Jackson that he’d make a great father. He knew Jackson would always chase her approval.

Miller tried to turn the conversation to more lighthearted matters. “I still can’t believe Jaha’s going to be marrying a Second Dawn woman. I mean, marrying Jaha ewww.” Bellamy hadn’t shared too many details about Jaha’s future bride. They were told that she was, as expected, a couple decades younger than he.

Jackson smiled but also shrugged a bit, as well as he could given their position. “Oh, I don’t know. I mean he has his strong points.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” Miller muttered. “Please.”

“I mean, he was **chancellor** ,” Jackson said straightforwardly, though he was still smiling. “Abby always liked him. He’s an engineer, he’s smart.”

“Okay, okay, stop! I can’t take any more of this!” Miller said, somewhere between laughing and groaning. At least, Miller thought, he’d turned Jackson’s attention away from missing Abby for now.

***

“I keep waiting for something to go wrong,” Bellamy said quietly at breakfast.

“You still need to eat,” Abby remarked, taking a pointed look at his untouched meal.

“I’m trying,” he said, with a forced smile and a half-shake of his head.

The group wedding was now three days away. One Skaikru man had changed his mind and backed out, but the elders were still allowing the overall deal to go through. Bellamy could only do his best to handle this kind of tension and fear. Before Praimfaya his fears were along the lines of defeating ALIE or getting caught infiltrating Mount Weather. Now the things that kept him up at night were worries about whether 14 prospective grooms and the elders would keep their word.

“Remember, the elders want this,” Kane said quietly. “It’s the main reason they ever let us in.” He paused and almost smiled. “Last time I sat with the elders they seemed almost excited. Not a word I usually would use to describe that bunch.”

Bellamy looked at Kane. He silently appreciated the older man’s diplomatic skills, knowing it wasn’t an easy job. Over the months, he’d mentally filed away what he could, observing Kane and his prowess in this area. Bellamy also was occasionally permitted to sit in when Kane worked with the Second Dawn’s guard. He liked the way Kane trained them, worked with them. He treated each of the young men like he was valuable. Bellamy filed those lessons away too.

Upon seeing Bellamy take a spoonful of his oatmeal, Kane continued. “Any updates on your preparations to leave?”

Bellamy shook his head and swallowed his food. “Things seem all set there too. Monty and I went over the checklist again last evening.”

“I’ll go through the numbers and quantities of the drugs again too,” Abby said.

Bellamy then followed Abby’s gaze. One of the elders, a man named Richard, was approaching their table. Richard exchanged pleasantries with the group for a bit before adding, “I look forward to the weddings. I just wish that we had some Skaikru women who were marrying Second Dawn men, and not just the other way around.”

Bellamy glanced at Abby, suspecting she might be the one to answer. He guessed that her smile was forced as she replied, “Perhaps a few years down the road when they see how successful this first group of marriages is, they’ll consider it for themselves.”

“I hope so,” Richard said. Bellamy observed that his smile appeared genuine. Kane had said that Richard was one of the more genial elders. “My grandson said yesterday he’d be open to marrying one of your women.”

With that, Richard bid the group farewell and went to have breakfast with his fellow elders. Abby kept her voice quiet as she remarked, “I don’t think any of our women are going to marry a man who won’t treat them as an equal.” She took a breath and added, almost muttering, “Stating the obvious.”

“I keep hoping that **we’ll** change them,” Kane said. He shook his head. “Might be wishful thinking on my part though.”

Bellamy looked down at his oatmeal, Kane’s last sentence replaying in his mind. He knew he’d continue doing a lot of wishing and hoping until he and the others were in the rover and on their way out.

***

The days continued to plod by. Every time Bellamy walked down a hallway he feared that someone would come up to him and tell him that a second Skaikru man had backed out. Every time he reached his room, he feared a note under his door telling him that the elders had changed their minds. He spoke to Clarke each evening as usual, and he kept his tone positive.

“Come on,” Clarke was saying that evening. “You can tell me that you’re worried. It’s okay.”

Bellamy exhaled and almost smiled. “I am worried,” he admitted. It felt good to be able to say it, even though he’d said it to her a few days ago. And even though he knew that she already knew. He added, “It’s all mostly stuff we can’t control. And any time one of the grooms sees me approaching, they usually walk the other way since they know that it means I’m coming to check in on them and make sure they don’t change their mind like Tim did.”

“I hate not being able to control it either,” Clarke’s voice came through loud and clear. “I hate that we’re dealing with the Second Dawn…they almost make Diana Sydney look reasonable.”

“That’s a name from the past! And you’re right. Stuff we can’t control, unreasonable people.”

“And then if they do truly let you go, you’ll need to take the anti-radiation drugs that gave you side effects. And take more drugs to counter those side effects.”

“Yeah, good times,” he said wryly. Taking on a more serious tone he added, “I don’t care. I’ll put up with rashes and itching if I can be with you again.”

“We’ll get through this,” Clarke insisted. “We’ll find a way. We just need a little luck.”

“And we need to hope that if this falls through, we’ll think of a good backup plan,” Bellamy added. He smiled, though Clarke couldn’t see it. “If it doesn’t fall through….then it might just be a few months till we’re together. Maybe even a few weeks if we’re really lucky. I can’t wait!”

“Same here. It’s…it’s all I think about. Being with you again.”

***

Just as he had almost nine months ago, Bellamy once again stood inside the landing bay near the bunker’s entrance, loading up a couple of rovers. The mass wedding had taken place yesterday. Another Skaikru man had gotten cold feet and backed out, but 13 others had married 13 Second Dawn women. Before the ceremony, Cadogan expressed disappointment that they were down one union – but told Kane and Jaha that, yes, Bellamy and the others would still be allowed to leave with the supplies the next day. And Jaha was now, once again, a married man.

Bellamy had hardly slept the night before. He tried every calming technique he knew. He took deep breaths. He wrote a letter to Clarke, even though they had just spoken. He paced the hallways. He attempted to draw though he never particularly enjoyed the activity other than its connection to Clarke. He thought of pleasant images, the valley that he and Clarke dreamed of with its trees, cottages, and flowers. But around 0400 Bellamy had admitted defeat, gotten up again, stretched, and showered. It hadn’t been his first sleepless night and wouldn’t be his last. He’d sleep better, he told himself, when he was reunited with Clarke. If he was lucky enough for that to happen.

Monty and the others had tapped on Bellamy’s door promptly at 0630 hours. Either they hadn’t slept well either or were just heeding his directive to be ready early. “Better to leave at first light,” he’d said. “It’s a long trip.”

“He’s right,” Monty had reiterated to the others the night before. He had made the trip before as well.

Bellamy had said his farewell to Abby the evening before. She’d given him some letters for Clarke and had hugged him tightly. At least having the radio made it easier; Abby spoke with her daughter nearly every day. “I’m so glad she has you,” Abby said as she embraced Bellamy. “I’m glad you’re part of my family.”

“Thank you,” Bellamy had said. “Me too. I’ll miss you.”

“You two take care of each other,” had been Abby’s parting words to Bellamy. She had given a similar blessing to Monty and Harper, and Murphy and Emori.

Bellamy loaded another piece of equipment into a rover. They had slimmed down their packing to the bare minimums, but still it would be a struggle to fit all the necessary equipment and six human beings into two rovers. Standing by one of them shaking his head, Bellamy heard footsteps approaching. He turned.

It was Bryan. It took Bellamy a second to just register the sight of the younger man, Miller’s ex boyfriend. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d exchanged any words with him. It might’ve been before Miller and Jackson had left the bunker, back when Bellamy had tasked himself with keeping Bryan away from the couple.

“Hey,” Bryan said.

“Hey,” Bellamy returned the greeting. He clasped his hands together and tilted his jawline upwards. He wasn’t sure how to read Bryan’s expression, other than thinking it neutral. “What do you want?”

“Just, um, can you take a message to Miller and Jackson? Tell them I’m sorry?” Bryan shifted his weight as he made the request.

Bryan’s voice seemed uncharacteristically soft, to Bellamy. He decided that Bryan seemed sincere. He also observed that Bryan didn’t look half bad for a man who had done a week-long stint inside a prison cell here. He didn’t look great, but he didn’t appear at all unhinged.

“Sure,” Bellamy said. “I’ll tell them that you apologize.”

“Thank you.” Bryan said. He held Bellamy’s gaze for a couple awkward seconds, and then turned and left. Bellamy gave himself a few seconds to think about Bryan. His actions had caused so much trouble and indirectly resulted in Sergeant Miller’s death. But Bryan had also been a traumatized, heartbroken 19 year-old who – if nothing else – deserved a bit of empathy.

Bellamy got back to inspecting the rovers again, and then moments later heard more footsteps. These ones were bold and swift, a world apart from Bryan’s hesitant gait. Bellamy turned around once again and this time his heart sunk to his knees. John Cadogan.

What could compel the Second Dawn’s leader to seek him out? Nothing good. Absolutely nothing good. It had to mean trouble. Bellamy steeled himself, trying to prepare to endure heartache, as he felt the bitter sting of disappointment begin to course through his veins.

“Hello, Bellamy,” Cadogan began, smiling.

“Hello, Sir,” Bellamy said. His voice was quiet, defeated and he didn’t think twice about using the respectful term that elders were addressed with.

“I’d like you take a message to one of The Unworthy,” Cadogan stated plainly.

“Sure,” Bellamy responded. His mind reeled. Was this all? Was the trip still on and Cadogan truly just had a message to convey?

“Please tell our fallen daughter Anne that we’re open to forgiving her. If she ever repents from her sinful lifestyle.”

“Sure. Yes. Of course, I’ll tell her that.” Bellamy’s mind was blank. Was this really it? Was he home free?

“Thank you.” With that, Cadogan turned and walked away. He passed Kane who was entering the landing bay. They expressed pleasantries, and Monty, Harper, Jasper, Murphy, and Emori followed closely behind Kane.

Monty and Bellamy nodded at each other, and Monty began doing a triple-check of the rovers against the checklist. Bellamy had already done so but he definitely wanted Monty to check them again.

“So here we are again,” Kane said, going up to Bellamy.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said. He remembered that he and Kane hadn’t said much to each other the last time he departed. But during these past several months, Kane and Abby had been lifesavers for Bellamy. “Thank you,” he said, looking down briefly and then meeting Kane’s eyes. “For everything.”

Kane nodded. Bellamy glanced a brief widening of Kane’s eyes; perhaps the chancellor was a bit surprised at Bellamy’s soft tone and sincere gratitude. He extended his hand to Bellamy, and Bellamy grasped it. “You too.” Kane said. “I’ll miss you.”

Bellamy nodded, and the two left it at that. When all last checks were completed and the group had suited up, Bellamy got into one rover with Murphy and Emori. Monty, Harper, and Jasper took the other.

As Bellamy drove through the bay, Emori picked up the radio. “Arkadia II,” she began. “We’re on our way.” Cheers from the group inside Arkadia II could be heard.

***

Clarke sat inside the mess hall. Today’s bridge game was being played by Octavia, Raven, Niylah, and Miller. As per their tradition, the non-players sat around and watched. It was a less than thrilling endeavor, but living in Arkadia II required one to do almost anything to pass the time.

Clarke eyed the radio. She’d removed it from her belt and placed it on the table in front of her.

Jackson followed her gaze and smiled. “You can tell me down to the minute when you last spoke to Bellamy, I bet,” he said.

Keeping her eyes on the radio, Clarke rested her head atop her fist and muttered, “One hour and 15 minutes. Give or take.” She looked at Jackson and returned his smile. “Now that they’re out of the bunker, we don’t have to worry about their radio being discovered. So we can talk as often as we want.” She paused. “Just trying not to overdo it.” Jaha had built a second radio for Abby to use, so Clarke could still talk to her mother.

The bridge game continued to plod by. Clarke’s ears perked up as she heard the radio’s telltale static. She instantly reached for it and pressed the button. “Clarke here.” The bridge game ceased as Clarke’s peers turned to listen.

A noise sounded over the radio. It was unintelligible. Clarke exchanged looks with her fellow Arkadians. She waited. More radio garble.

“Come in. Come in,” Clarke insisted over the radio.

More garble. The group continued to look at each other and the radio. They waited silently.

“Did their radio break?” Miller asked. “Or is ours not working?”

Raven made a face. “See if you can contact your mom,” she said to Clarke.

Clarke shook her head. “It’s lunchtime in the Second Dawn bunker. My mom’s either eating or in med bay – she won’t have the other radio with her. She keeps it between her mattresses.”

Raven stood up and looked at the radio. “It looks fine,” she said. “I’d need to take it apart to know for sure if something’s wrong with it on the inside.” She took a breath. “The problem’s gotta be on their end.”

The group continued to wait, resuming their silence. Clarke stared at the radio. The group continued to wait. She then nearly jumped as the radio once again made noise.

But once again it was just a jumble of distorted sounds.

Clarke ran her hands through her hair. She took another breath. She reminded herself to be patient. “We don’t know what’s causing the strange sounds from Bellamy’s radio,” she murmured. Her thoughts spun out. If the radio was damaged, **how** would it have gotten damaged? Clarke couldn’t think of a way the radio could be damaged that didn’t spell disaster. It’s not like Bellamy would’ve been dangling it outside of the rover and dropping it just for fun.

And then at last, Bellamy’s voice came over the radio. His voice cut in and out. “----Sand---! We -- storm.”

Clarke and the others exchanged looks. “What did you say?” she asked into the radio. “Sand storm?”

“Sandstorm!” Bellamy’s voice came through this time. He was yelling and the noise in the background was deafening. “We’re out of the rover and inside the chem tent. Terrible sandstorm. I haven’t seen anything like it. Emori’s suit is damaged. Do you copy?”

“Yes!” Clarke spoke loudly, clutching the radio in a vice. “Bad sandstorm, you’re in the chem tent, Emori’s suit is damaged.”

“The sandstorm is crazy! It’s not just sand. It feels like glass. We ha---“ at that, the radio and Bellamy’s voice cut out.

For the next several hours, Clarke sat with the radio. Communications from Bellamy were sporadic, his voice cutting in and out with the horrible background noise. Clarke and the others could only gather that Bellamy’s group was hunkered down inside the chem tent and that they had found a way to patch Emori’s suit.

At some point hours later, someone put a dinner plate in front of Clarke and insisted she eat. She did so, mechanically, still looking at the radio.

At another point much later, it was only Clarke and Raven inside the mess hall.

“Two hours and 35 minutes,” Clarke said. “Since we last spoke.”

“I know. I heard it. Sounded like their chem tent was still holding,” Raven said. “Barely, but it was. They just gotta wait out the sandstorm.”

Clarke shook her head. “We have no data – and no idea – how long a sandstorm might last in the post-Praimfaya world. It could be days. They’re gonna eventually need to take their helmets off and drink water.”

“Yeah, it could be days but it could be just hours,” Raven said. “We don’t know.”

She stood up and held out a hand to Clarke. “Come on. Doesn’t your butt hurt sitting in that damn chair all day? Go to your room and lay on the bed. At least make yourself comfortable while you wait.”

Clarke silently obeyed Raven, too dispirited to protest. She was changing into her nightclothes when the radio sounded again. “Okay. We think the storm’s finally over and we’re back on the road,” Bellamy said.

“Oh thank God!” Clarke exhaled.

They remained on the radio, just speaking to each other and enjoying each other’s voices until Emori finally said, “Bellamy would you just put the radio down and focus on your driving??”

Clarke heard Emori’s exasperation loud and clear, and could only smile. Bellamy and the others were on their way again!

**TBC**

**A/N – I’m always happy to chat with other fans. I recently changed my username on Tumblr. It was Jemleofan, but I’m now The100epic.  
**

**And thank you again for any comments!**


	8. Chapter Eight

_**Posting my latest chapter because fanfic is an enjoyable escape for a lot of us. Wanted to add that there have always been political undertones to most of my work, and I encourage everyone to do as I've done for years and get involved at the local level (and state level, for those of us in the US) for justice.** _

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

“Okay, Bellamy, can you stop smiling? Only a lovestruck idiot would be smiling through this crap.”

Murphy spoke the words to Bellamy as they, and the rest of their group, stood among the ruins of Polis. It had been a rough 24 hours. Just as last time Bellamy and Monty had made this trek, they couldn’t get the rovers close to Arkadia II due to piles of rubble and ground too mauled even for the rovers to handle. So the group had parked their two rovers next to the other two that still remained there from the first trip to Arkadia II. And then they set to work hauling heavy supplies to their new base, the chem tent, which now stood among the ruins. The group might have been young, strong, well-fed, and healthy but just getting their base set up had been utterly exhausting.

Uncomfortable hazmat suits had been discarded. Murphy was having an even worse reaction to the anti-radiation drugs than Bellamy – both men were struggling with painfully itchy rashes. The drug that countered the side-effects hadn’t kicked in yet. The rest of the group was coping best they could, but they fervently wished they’d brought more water. All the exertion made them thirsty, and already they were questioning whether they’d brought enough. And given the grueling 12 hour sandstorm they’d experienced, they had to constantly be on the lookout for the next one.

“Yeah, and now he’s gonna grab the radio and talk to Clarke for two hours,” Jasper muttered.

“I wish,” Bellamy said, taking Murphy and Jasper’s barbs in stride. “But life for us now is going to be three things. Resting, digging, and just occasional breaks for things like food and water. **And** a little radio time,” he added, pointedly.

“I just hope Raven’s device works,” Monty said, adjusting his tablet, ignoring Murphy and Jasper’s comments. Raven had created something akin to a homing beacon for Monty to use to locate Arkadia II’s opening. “It could be the difference between this taking weeks or this taking months.”

Monty spent the next several minutes on the radio with Raven, adjusting his tablet, and walking around. Harper shadowed him closely, perhaps fearful that he would once again get injured.

Bellamy observed them. Harper’s concern for Monty was always heartwarming and it made him ache even more for Clarke. He watched Monty, so totally devoted to the task at hand, and thought of how Clarke too was always so focused and so logical. He then turned and glanced at Murphy and Emori. They were snipping at each other over something inconsequential, though their dialog appeared to be changing from real irritation to a more playful kind of sarcasm. Bellamy had seen them interact like that many times before. He mused that he and Clarke didn’t really get sarcastic or jokey with each other, at least not to the extent that Murphy and Emori did. He wondered how his and Clarke’s interactions would evolve over the years.

 _‘If we’re lucky enough to have years together’_. He believed they would be.

“Okay,” Monty said, looking around at the others and then pointing downwards. “The opening should be somewhere around here.”

Raven’s voice crackled over the radio. “Can you estimate how much debris is in the way or how much time it’ll take to dig it out?”

“No,” Monty said, showing off some sarcasm of his own. “Just – _a lot_.”

***

“Never felt so damn useless in my life,” Miller mumbled the words to the others who stood around. The group now tended to congregate in the rotunda rather than the mess hall or engineering. It was close to the opening so they mostly sat around there listening. Occasionally the group practiced their combat training there or played card games.

“Yeah. Standing here and looking up at the ceiling isn’t helping anything,” Jackson agreed. He added, “And I hate that Murphy’s showing the same reaction to the drugs as Bellamy. And even with Monty’s ankle and Murphy’s arm healed, this has to be hard on them. Imagine all the sore shoulders and pulled muscles too!”

Miller looked at Jackson and smiled. Sometimes he marveled that growing up in the gloomy and sometimes cutthroat world of the Ark, there were people who just loved and cared about others. And he marveled that one of those people had chosen him to be his partner. Jackson’s loving manner would be good for their baby. Niylah and Anne were much the same way, Miller knew.

He then looked at Clarke. She paced around the rotunda, as she had been doing almost nonstop since the group had radioed to say they were setting up camp above. No doubt Clarke was straining her ears, hoping for sounds of digging. But Bellamy and the others had arrived just eight hours ago. Miller had been inside the tower before Praimfaya, been awed at its vastness. Even if somehow only a small part of it covered their entrance, it still could take weeks to clear the rubble.

Miller decided to walk up to Clarke. Neither he nor Clarke were known as softies, but if nothing else, he could offer her a mental distraction. He fell into step with her as she paced and they chatted easily. She knew how lucky they were that Bellamy and the others had been allowed to leave, and that they’d made it this far, surviving the sandstorm. She talked a bit about the days when Bellamy had first been overdue for his return and when the tower had collapsed, when she hadn’t even known if he was alive or dead. They agreed this was a vast improvement.

“He’s so close,” Miller said.

“I know,” Clarke said, drawing a breath. “So close. One last hurdle.”

***

Bellamy was the last one to put away his shovel and flop down on top of his sleeping bag inside the chem tent. It didn’t matter that he was strong and hardy – two days of digging with few breaks left nearly every muscle in his body sore. There was never enough water, and the air always smelled acrid making him almost prefer wearing his hazmat suit. He also winced when he realized that he was worried about the physical strain all this digging was causing Harper and Emori, and then realized that some of the Second Dawn’s sexist attitudes might have leached into his brain.

Bellamy had decided not to post anyone on lookout duty during the nights. They were all too exhausted and besides, during both of Bellamy’s trips on the ground since Praimfaya, it was abundantly clear that no living creature had survived the death wave.

He took a breath as he lay on his side and tried to command his muscles to relax. He thought of some positives. The drugs to counter the side effects seemed to be working well for everyone – even he and Murphy were at a place where their rashes and other side effects were manageable. There had been no more sandstorms. Raven’s homing device ensured that they were digging out the right area, and they could see progress. Headlamps enabled him to keep working after dark, though he wisely paced himself, knowing when his body was at its limit. And he still spoke to Clarke every day, though they kept it brief so he could focus on his work. He replayed their last conversation.

“Jackson’s pretty much ordered that as soon as you each get down here, he wants you all to get medical massages to deal with your backaches,” Clarke had said.

“I can tell you that everyone here wishes they could have one right now,” Bellamy had chuckled. He added, “I’d rather get mine from you though.”

“Oh, you will,” Clarke had smiled back.

“When we finally get in, be ready for Murphy to keep saying how cleaning the toilets inside the bunker was a hundred times better than spending all day digging.”

Clarke laughed along with Bellamy as she said, “I’ll brace myself. I’ve had Miller’s sarcasm to keep me company but Murphy takes it to a whole new level.”

Bellamy kept the more pleasant thoughts on his mind and allowed exhaustion to overtake him. He fell asleep.

***

“I can hear you! I hear you digging!”

Clarke almost yelped the words into the radio. She again tilted her head upwards but recoiled when she felt a twinge of pain. She’d spent most of the last 27 days in the rotunda, just naturally tilting her head up, knowing that Bellamy and the others were up there on the other side of the door and the rubble. But today – right now – was the first time she’d heard sounds of digging.

“You can?” Bellamy’s voice came through on the radio. He was exhausted, Clarke knew. Any human would be after almost four weeks of hard labor. “Hold up, let’s make some extra noise now!” he said, apparently directed towards his team.

Clarke listened and heard it a second later– the sounds of shovels being banged energetically against debris. “Yes!” Clarke said breathlessly. “I can hear it.”

“Thank God,” Bellamy said, sounding as ragged as he surely felt. “We needed that good news. It won’t be long.” In the background over the radio, Clarke could hear sounds of the others cheering. The cheers sounded, unsurprisingly, more relieved than exuberant.

After not long, the other Arkadians headed into the rotunda, hearing Clarke’s excited words. The group made their way to the staircase that led to the entrance.

Clarke stood, gripping the staircase’s railing. She and the others had often debated which was worse – the hard labor that their friends were performing, or just standing around down here unable to lift a finger to help them. They knew they had the better deal, but the guilt of not being able to help caused a special ache.

During the past four weeks, the Arkadians had discussed and debated how they might help their friends once they finally were able to make their way into the bunker. As Clarke clutched the railing, she heard the group again toss out their ideas for how they might assist and thank the others. ‘We’ll carry their packs for them.’ ; ‘Set up their rooms for them.’ ; ‘Get a hot meal ready for them.’ ; ‘Let’s get water ready for them. They’ve been saying they haven’t had enough.’; ‘Showers. They’re all going to want showers, so let’s get clean towels ready’; `Medical massage for each of them is the most important thing! We have to get those kinks out of their backs and shoulders and – ‘; ‘We know, Jackson!’

Clarke listened to the group banter back and forth. She was smiling. It wasn’t a broad grin but it was a grateful smile. She sensed someone standing behind her, turned her head, and saw Raven.

“Should just be a couple hours more,” Raven said quietly as she, too, tilted her head up towards the top of the staircase. “If we’re lucky.”

Clarke nodded. She usually wasn’t physically demonstrative with her people, but she put a hand on Raven’s shoulder, just wordlessly enjoying the feeling of connection and wanting to show that she appreciated her concern.

Her heart beat steadily at the sounds of the debris being cleared. Bellamy was up there. She would see him today, possibly very soon. Clarke would throw her arms around him, feel his warmth. Hear his voice without the static of the radio. Press her lips against his and taste his mouth. Tonight they would lay down together, fall asleep together. Without giving it conscious thought, Clarke clutched at her chest, covering her heart. She knew – she had always known – that she was a whole person with or without a lover. Yet the thought of being reunited with Bellamy did somehow make her feel more complete, like the fragmented pieces of her heart were coming back together.

And then came two firm but gentle taps overheard. “Okay!” Bellamy called out. Clarke could both hear him over the radio – and hear his voice because it was right there on the other end of the opening. “We see the door! Please open it.”

“Copy that,” Clarke said into the radio, with a delirious tone that came out almost as a laugh. “Just wait a couple minutes before you come on down – the rest of us need to clear away until you seal the door again.” The Arkadians hadn’t taken anti-radiation drugs, as they conserved any and all supplies. Even brief exposure to the toxic air could harm them.

“You got it,” Bellamy replied, and she heard her own ecstatic tone mirrored back at her.

Clarke watched her group set out glasses filled with water for their rescuers to drink as soon as they arrived. Then she waited inside the rotunda with the others as they heard the door being opened, and somehow those next few moments were among the hardest. Clarke heard heavy boots descending the staircase and Murphy saying, “You go first, loverboy”. She closed her eyes for a few moments, reminded herself to just breathe. The others standing around her were quiet.

Ten months. It had been nearly ten months since she’d seen Bellamy. And now, at long last, the wait would be over. “You go to him first,” Octavia said, standing behind Clarke. “I can wait.”

Clarke nodded in gratitude at Octavia’s words. She then heard the door being sealed again, the distinctive slam and click that indicated that they were once again protected from the toxic air outside.

She abandoned all pretense at being calm once she saw Bellamy walk into the rotunda area. She ran up to him and put her arms around him, knowing she’d let out a small shriek of utter joy as her body made contact with hers.

Bellamy smiled and said, “Be careful – remember, I stink.” He and the others had mentioned many times that their water was low and their bathing limited.

“Like I care!” Clarke responded, squeezing Bellamy even closer. He was here. He was warm, he was breathing, he was embracing her tightly. She reached up to kiss him. “Oooh!” she smiled. “Bristles!” she observed, taking a finger to stroke the side of his face.

“Yeah. Done even less shaving than bathing,” Bellamy smiled.

Clarke looked at him. Here he was. He was unshaven and his face was dirty, but it was the same Bellamy. His eyes seemed to dance. She pulled him closer again and reached to press her lips against his one more time. To have gone from not knowing whether or not he was alive, to nightly talks over the radio, to now actually having him here with her was a type of bliss Clarke had rarely ever known. She knew that every word she was saying came out in a sort of delirious, overjoyed tone.

Dimly Clarke was aware of other reunions and conversations. Exclamations were made over Niylah’s visibly pregnant state. Murphy muttered at one point, “Never thought I’d be so happy to enter another goddamned underground, windowless bunker.”

And not long later, Clarke heard Murphy say, “Hey, Jackson, I heard you’ve offered medical massages to everyone. Every damn muscle in my body is screaming, so I need you to get to work.” He paused, apparently – Clarke noted - ceasing his sarcasm, and looking at the woman he loved. “Starting with Emori, I meant.”

“I’m showering before I do anything!” Harper cut in, putting her hands up and letting out a bemused laugh. “I can’t take another minute of smelling like this!”

“It’s this way,” Raven said. “We got clean towels ready for everyone.”

At last Bellamy stepped out of the hug so he could embrace his sister. Clarke smiled watching them. Octavia hugged him for a second, laughed, and said, “Ugh, you do stink. Go shower, brother!” He laughed with her and gave a nod.

***

Not long afterwards, Bellamy and Clarke were inside their room. As soon as he’d finished his shower, he headed straight for their room where Clarke waited for him. She’d brought a plate of food, a mug of tea, and a tall glass of water.

“Please,” she gestured, her voice somewhere between tender and awed. “Sit and eat.”

He sat down on the bed, and she handed him the plate and fork. “Now let me get behind you and start on your neck and shoulders,” she insisted. “Jackson wasn’t wrong. Giving you all massages has got to help.”

“Trust me, no one’s arguing with that. We’re all hurtin’,” Bellamy said. He then groaned loudly as Clarke’s hands began their work. She knew what she was doing, he thought, as she began the work of untying his knots. He groaned again. “Life is good. I’m back here with you, I don’t have to take any more meds, I’ve finally had a shower, and there might again be a day when my back isn’t killing me.”

“Life is good,” Clarke agreed with a smile. She kissed the back of his head while continuing the motions of her hands. “The medicinal plants are doing well,” Clarke added, even though she’d mentioned that to Bellamy several times over the past few months. “The tea I made for you has pain-killing herbs in it.”

Bellamy reached to take a sip. “Bitter,” he observed.

“But it will help,” Clarke said. “So drink.”

Although Bellamy couldn’t see her face, he knew she was still smiling just as he was. He swallowed a few more gulps and then relaxed back into the massage. “This feels so nice,” he murmured. “The knots are coming out.”

Clarke again kissed the back of his head without breaking the motions of her hands. “I don’t know if you’re in the mood for sex,” she murmured. “But if you are-“

Bellamy whirled his head around and looked at her, his eyes wide and a boyish smile starting to spread across his face. “Yes!” All thoughts of eating more, downing more of the tea, or even getting more of the massage were abandoned almost instantly.

Clarke giggled at his eagerness. He, too, was amused at his own eagerness and her reaction. “Come on, Clarke, you know we’ve both been wanting it for so long.”

She was already beginning to undress as she said, “Oh, I know! I just wasn’t sure if you’d be too tired or too sore.”

“My back suddenly feels great!” Bellamy exclaimed. He hoisted his shirt over his head, only slightly wincing at the pain.

“Good. But let’s take it easy. As your physician, I insist that you lay on your back and let me do the work.”

“Well, I guess I have no choice but to follow my doctor’s orders,” Bellamy grinned. It sounded like paradise to him. He would always be grateful that Clarke didn’t shy away from stating what she wanted or taking charge in the bedroom. He stood up so he could more easily remove his clothing. Clarke scrambled to help him, easing his pants down.

When Bellamy had positioned himself on the bed as Clarke had requested, she eagerly placed herself atop him. She covered his mouth with hers and he loved the feel of it. She planted kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, his ears. She ran her fingers through his damp curls.

“I should’ve asked,” Clarke began, her voice taking on a serious tone, in between kisses. “Is this position actually comfortable for you?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “This is the best one. Thanks for asking.” He looked up at her as she spoke the words. He could see the love in her blue eyes, which were filled with concern, clouded over just a bit by lust. Her hair cascaded town, tickling him.

With that confirmation, Clarke resumed passionately kissing and touching him all over. Bellamy allowed himself to just lie back and bask in every sensation. He stroked her head as she kissed and licked his nipples. He groaned his pleasure. “Come back up here,” he whispered. “Let me kiss your breasts.”

Clarke gave a soft grunt and did as he asked. He tilted his head upwards so he could kiss her breasts, vaguely aware of how many times over the past ten months that he had craved being able to do this. His tongue reached for one nipple and then he vigorously sucked it as he knew she liked. He listened to her moans. “Oh god yes,” Clarke breathed as he suckled. “I’m so wet.”

A few delicious moments later, Bellamy felt Clarke stroking his length. He didn’t need much extra attention there as he’d started to grow hard almost as soon as he and Clarke had started removing their clothing. Clarke shifted and settled herself down, enveloping him. She slowly began the rhythm.

“I missed your taste,” Bellamy murmured as Clarke moved on him. “I missed your smell.”

“I missed having you inside of me,” Clarke said, moving just a bit faster now. She reached down and kissed him once again, slowly inserting her tongue into his mouth.

Bellamy mused that if heaven was a thing, he was inside it now. Having the beautiful woman he loved on top of him, riding him, kissing him. It was almost overwhelming after spending so much time needing and wanting this. And then suddenly, he realized that his physical response was moving faster than he wanted it to, and his eyes flew open. “Clarke,” he rasped. “I’m sorry. I’m too close to coming. I—“

“Shhhh,” Clarke shushed, and moved a little faster on him. “It’s okay. I want you to come.”

“But you—I – “ he sputtered.

“It’s okay,” she repeated. She had a twinkle in her eye as she added, “You can eat me out later.”

“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes. For hours and h-“ Bellamy took in another breath and felt the overwhelming, delicious climax overtake him. He groaned loudly.

Moments later, Clarke was kissing him and he was kissing her back, torn between savoring the physical release he’d just had and acute disappointment in himself. What sort of terrible lover left his woman unfulfilled? But Clarke was clearly loving having him here as she cuddled up against him. “Just relax,” she murmured, resting her head atop his chest. “Relax and rest.” Bellamy saw her move her hand down to stroke herself, and he again had to fight the urge to brand himself a failure. He caressed her neck and back as she rubbed herself to a climax.

Afterwards, Clarke fussed over him, asking if he wanted help sitting up and finishing his food and tea. “I just want to stay right here,” Bellamy whispered. He smiled at the look on Clarke’s face, knowing she wanted to continue to fuss over him.

But she then seemed to realize the wisdom in just resting there with him, and she lay her head back down upon his chest. They quietly remained that way for a while. Bellamy had thought he might drift off to sleep then. He was pleasantly relaxed and even a bit drained, but he also wanted to stay awake so he could just relish the feel of Clarke’s sweaty body against his. He knew that if he allowed himself to sleep, he wouldn’t be able to consciously appreciate how good it was to have her here with him, naked.

“It was nice to see Niylah pregnant,” he mused, as he stroked her hair. Talking would help him stay awake so that he could continue to enjoy this moment.

“She’s doing well,” Clarke said. “Said she’s been having leg cramps but otherwise feels good.”

“We need to think about how much longer our implants will last,” he said. It was a subject they’d only briefly discussed over the radio. He thought that perhaps they’d held off on discussing it much during the past ten months because they couldn’t really believe they’d be this lucky to be together again.

But he silently chided himself; Clarke, of course, remembered all of their previous discussions on this subject. “Should be about 14-16 months before both of ours fail. Yours has been in longer than mine,” she said. “Then we’ll have to go to the calendar method.” Her voice then took on a tender tone again. “Hey. Do you want to flip over? I could get at massaging your back. Try to work out a few more knots.”

“I definitely am in paradise.”

***

The group knew that they needed to give Clarke and Bellamy their space, so they focused on helping the others settle in. Miller didn’t love Murphy’s bossy tone from the start, and he resigned himself to just rolling his eyes when no one could see. He knew that he owed Murphy, along with the others. Sure, Murphy and crew had their own reasons for wanting to get far away from the Second Dawn, and Miller knew he would’ve done the same thing had their positions been reversed. But Murphy and the others had done backbreaking labor for weeks -- and Miller couldn’t explain why but somehow the knowledge that he was no longer living under untold tons amounts of rubble made him breathe much easier. So he forced himself to not grimace when Murphy demanded more of the tea with the pain-killing herbs using a tone that made Miller feel like a servant. He compelled himself to ignore it.

Miller was especially happy, of course, to cater to Monty, Harper, and Jasper. Jasper was a mess, as he had been since Mount Weather, but Miller had been through so much with Monty and Harper. The dropship, then Mount Weather, then working as guards together. So Miller gladly worked on getting knots out of their shoulders, though Monty fell asleep during it. Miller looked forward to catching up with them when they weren’t exhausted

As soon as Miller had a free moment though, he had a mission to accomplish. There was no easy way to do it, since he didn’t want to intrude on Bellamy and Clarke’s time together. What he really wanted to do was slip a note under their door, but paper was even more of a precious commodity here than it had been on the Ark. So instead he paced the hallway outside their room, hoping to get a chance to talk with Bellamy before Jackson was available.

Jackson was, of course, tending to everyone’s sore muscles, and when he wasn’t giving massages he was eagerly bringing tea, food, towels, and whatever else was needed to their rescuers. Miller knew Jackson would be busy for a while, tending to each person until they did as Monty had and just fell asleep. Miller also knew that sooner or later, Bellamy or Clarke would need to leave their quarters to use the bathroom.

Especially if they had been drinking a lot of the tea.

His hunch paid off; after not long, a groggy-looking Bellamy opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

“Hey, Bellamy,” Miller began, clasping his hands together, hoping it didn’t look too odd that he was standing in the corridor.

“Miller!” Bellamy said. He pulled him into a hug. “Sorry I didn’t greet you before. I—“

“Come on, no need to say anything. You needed your time with Clarke.” Stepping out of the hug, Miller tilted his head and added, “And as Octavia said, you badly needed a shower.”

Bellamy chuckled. Miller observed his friend. He was clad in just a pair of pants. The stubble looked good on him. He appeared simultaneously exhausted and thrilled. Miller quickly turned his mind to the task at hand. Keeping someone who needed it away from the bathroom was not a good thing, so he knew he didn’t have a lot of time.

“Hey, wanted to ask you something,” Miller began, swallowing. “Did Abby…give you a message for Jackson? Or – I don’t know – give you anything to give to him, or tell you to give Jackson a hug from her? Anything like that?”

In the next second or two as he took in Bellamy’s expression, Miller’s heart sank. Bellamy’s glance downwards and the slight way he shifted his weight gave Miller a hint as to the answer.

“I, uh, don’t remember that she did,” Bellamy answered. He paused and added, “No. I’d remember if she had a message or something to give to him. But – hey, don’t they talk on the radio sometimes?”

“Sometimes,” Miller said, with a slight nod. “Not too often. Usually if someone here was talking to Abby, it was Clarke or Raven. Or Niylah because she’s pregnant.”

“Is-is something wrong?” Bellamy asked, his voice a bit softer than usual.

Miller let out a breath. “Just that when it comes to Abby, Jackson’s not….all that rational or logical.” He leaned in closer to Bellamy. “Do you think you might….I don’t know, tell Jackson that Abby said to give him a hug?” As the words came out, Miller stopped and shook his head. “Never mind. That’s stupid.”

Bellamy stood there for a few moments. “Look, uh, maybe Jackson should take the radio tonight and just talk to her. Tell her he misses her.” He added with a thin smile, “Couldn’t hurt.”

“Yeah,” Miller said. “Good idea. Better than my idea,” he added, with a sharp laugh. “I should, uh, let you go do what you were gonna do. The closest bathroom’s that way,” he said, gesturing.

A couple days later, Miller and Jackson were taking their daily walk around the bunker. Their first topic of conversation was what everyone in Arkadia II had talked about for the past four weeks: their rescuers. Miller smiled as Jackson approached it from a medical standpoint, going over each person’s physical condition. “Jasper’s backache seems to be acute,” Jackson was saying. “And I think he’s lost weight since we last saw him, which concerns me given all the food he had access to in the Second Dawn bunker – and given that our meals here are a lot lower in calories.”

“Yeah, well, you know Jasper,” Miller said quietly. “Don’t think he’s had much of an appetite since Mount Weather.”

“I wish we had a way to treat depression. Even in the Second Dawn bunker, they didn’t have any meds for it. Dr. Jones once told me that if someone is depressed they should pray harder during service,” Jackson said frowning.

“I can say for the 900th time I’m glad to be outta that place!” Miller remarked. “The only thing I miss there is the food.”

“Well, that plus Abby and Kane,” Jackson added.

Miller noticed that Jackson’s pace slowed down a bit, and he slowed to match him. He knew that Jackson hadn’t mentioned Abby much lately.

Jackson then began, somberly, “I wish Abby had…I don’t know. Given Bellamy a message to take to me. Or even just told him to tell me that she missed me.”

It hadn’t been at all hard for Miller to foresee this, which is why he’d spoken with Bellamy as soon as he could. And he appreciated the advice Bellamy had given. “You know,” Miller began softly, “why don’t you ask to speak to her tonight when she’ll have the radio on? She talks to Clarke every day – she can talk to you for a change.”

Jackson was silent so Miller continued, “You can just tell her you miss her. Tell her you’re thinking of her. Something like that.”

The doctor remained silent for a bit, and then said hesitantly, “I don’t know. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking radio time away from Clarke or Raven – or Niylah, I mean she’s pregnant and Abby’s the only other one who’s been through that. We can’t risk the Second Dawn finding the radio.”

“How many months have we been radioing over there without the Second Dawn idiots finding out?” Miller asked, shaking his head. He touched a hand to Jackson’s chest. “Just do it.”

Miller’s heart softened when he saw the look on Jackson’s face. Jackson said, “You’re right. I will. Thanks for the advice.” He added, “And thanks for understanding this. You’re the only person I can talk about this with, about how much I miss her.”

**TBC - and thank you, as always, for comments and kudos!**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

It’s been four and a half years since Praimfaya. Just over three and a half years since Bellamy and I were reunited here.

I’ve gotten bored with drawing. Never thought that day would happen, but I need a break from drawing. Bellamy said I should give writing a try, so here it is. We ran out of paper a while ago, but living in a place with literally hundreds of empty rooms and hallways means you can pick almost any wall and just start writing. There’s a toddler here named Mary who certainly loves to scribble on any surface she can reach.

The past three and a half years have been good. Quiet. I’m grateful every day for the fact that I’m with the man I love and no one’s trying to kill us. Sometimes all the crap we lived through feels like a bad dream. And then one of us wakes up screaming and we get a reminder that it was real and will always be part of us. We have the scars to prove it, the physical ones and the mental ones. Being around people you love helps heal them though.

So what should I write about, how should I recap the last three and a half years? Well, I talk to my mom every day. She’s fine. I’m glad Kane’s there with her.

The 16 of us living in Arkadia II are all fine. Bored sometimes, but not that much since we have three babies living here. The amount of attention they need is incredible.

Mary was the first baby, born to Niylah (and Anne and Jackson and Miller), named for Jackson and Anne’s mothers. They had a second one just a few months ago, a boy named Viktor after Niylah’s father. And if anyone cares, Anne gave birth to Viktor and the sperm came from Miller but it doesn’t matter since they’re all raising Mary and Viktor as brother and sister. Viktor cries a lot during the night, so both sets of parents moved to another wing of the bunker so that the rest of us can sleep.

Monty and Harper had a baby too who arrived about a month before Viktor. They picked the name Corinna. Just a name that Harper always loved for a girl.

Thank goodness all the childbirths went fine. There are a hundred things that can go wrong with childbirth, but we somehow ended up with healthy moms and babies each time.

What do the babies look like? Mary has her dad’s lips and skin tone but otherwise resembles Niylah. The younger babies, I don’t know yet. Sometimes I think it takes a while for their features to really take shape. Corinna has her dad’s eyes and hair though. Not sure about Viktor yet, but I see more of Anne than Miller in him so far.

So yeah, we’re never really that bored here. The laundry room always has various cloths hanging up to dry. You could spend your whole day changing and washing shitty diapers. (I mean obviously the kids’ parents do that mostly but Bellamy and I help out. Everyone should know how to change a diaper).

I’ll write more about me and Bellamy in a minute. Saving the best for last. No kids yet but we’ve talked about it someday. We have time.

What else? Murphy and Emori broke up a few years ago but got back together. Bellamy and I debated how much we wanted to step in, but finally decided that we’d talk to them separately. Bellamy’s so good at this stuff. He pointed out that they needed to get used to a situation where their lives weren’t at risk and so Emori had to say goodbye to some of the things she used to love best about Murphy when he was fighting for their lives. And Murphy had to get used to doing something other than sitting around acting like a dick. Bellamy phrased it much better than that. I’m glad they’re back together again and they look happy enough.

Everyone else is same as they always were, I guess. We’re all great at combat now since we still train every day. Harper and Anne even trained when they were pregnant. We’re all decent engineers now. The farms are thriving, and Octavia works on them as much as Monty does. Monty did have a problem with one batch of algae, and it made Jasper really sick for a week but he pulled through. Our soybean crop was iffy a couple years ago but it’s fine now.

Our deck of cards is greasy and we’ve made up a dozen new games that don’t require cards or any other equipment. Somehow Murphy smuggled a soccer ball out of the Second Dawn bunker, taking up precious space in the rover, but we’re all glad for it now. It’s been used so much that it’s hardly a ball anymore, looks more like a giant squished bug, but we keep using it. Oh, and we’re basically running a preschool for Mary, though Jackson takes the lead on it along with Mary’s other parents. But I pop in every now and then too. The more teachers the kids will have, the better.

We continue having story time too, just sitting around talking and telling stories. Either made up ones or stuff we lived through. Murphy was banished more than once for making sarcastic comments, but he’s been good lately.

I want to write about Bellamy, but here’s where I think I should stick to drawing. Just last week Raven hung out with me as I drew and she shook her head and said, “Anyone looking at the way you draw him can tell how much you love him.” She’s right. I know I say it better in my drawings than I can write it here. I’m not a poet. ( **He** is though. He’s taken to writing poetry for me. And Miller’s taken to writing poetry for Jackson. It’s….touching but weird but sweet? I just hope we don’t start having poetry recitals in the mess hall.) But yes, I love him. We argue sometimes but not too often and we’re good about talking it out when we are irritated. We’ve gotten good at telling each other that we love each other too, though I’d still rather show it.

He never did go back to shaving – he’s kept a jawline beard and a mustache. I didn’t love it at first, but now I do. Come to think of it, other than Monty all the guys here have some sort of facial hair now. The dropship days with clean-shaven Bellamy, Jasper, Murphy, and Miller feel like a lifetime ago.

Just the other day I watched Bellamy and Octavia play “lily pads” with Mary. That’s a game they played when they were kids, involving them doing a lot of jumping on things. I felt all sorts of ways watching Bellamy interact with the toddler. Someday. Someday we’ll have a kid, but I need to know more about what things will be like when we open the bunker door. Which brings me to that subject.

We’re now just six months away from when the earth should be breathable. Breathable, but it won’t really be **survivable**. Monty’s gone out in a hazmat suit several times to get soil samples, and the soil is dead. Totally dead. There’s just nothing to eat or drink out there, and we’re also guessing that there will still be problems like sandstorms.

Monty and Octavia are working on a new strain of algae that they think will have regenerative properties, but they say that even if it works, it’s not going to miraculously turn dirt into soil that will be able to feed hundreds of people. At least not for a while. So we’ll probably keep living here and just head out once a day or so, to look at the sun and do what we can to try to get another farm going with Monty’s soil. Raven sometimes makes comments about what she’d do to the people who ordered the creation of these nuclear power plants if she had a time machine, and I can’t argue with her.

***

“Another marriage has been fruitful. And the baby is a boy. This is a blessed day.”

John Cadogan spoke the words during one of the weekly meetings with his elders. Kane and Jaha sat in on the meeting as they almost always did. Kane mused that in the four and a half years since he’d been attending these meetings, there had been only one change. One elder had died of natural causes, and had been replaced by a man just a few years younger. Kane had to admit that sitting inside this meeting room with this group, it usually felt as if time was standing still.

“That brings the total to seven then,” Jaha said with a smile. Seven babies had now been born to Skaikru men and their Second Dawn wives.

“I’m glad for that,” John Cadogan said, a measured smile on his face. “I do hope to see more as well.” In addition to the original 13 marriages that had taken place before Bellamy and the others had been allowed to leave, three more couples had wed during the past few years.

But each had been a Skaikru man marrying a Second Dawn woman. Kane was unsurprised when Cadogan turned to him and asked, “When are we doing to see the reverse situation, Marcus? A few Skaikru **women** marrying Second Dawn men.”

Kane folded his hands. “I don’t think our people’s views have changed much on that subject, John. You remember what I told you. From the time each member of Skaikru is born, they learn principles such as equality. We believe that all human beings are equal.”

A few gentle scoffs and guffaws followed from the elders, as always happened whenever this subject came up. Kane ignored them and kept his focus on Cadogan.

“There is not,” Kane continued, “one Skaikru woman who would marry a man who expected her to obey without question.”

“Come on, Kane,” Donald began with a smirk. “What do you do when you and Abby disagree?”

“We sit down and discuss it like rational human beings,” Kane replied evenly. It wasn’t the first time an elder had asked him the question, though usually it had been done one-on-one.

“But - uh, and then… **you** make the final decision, right?” Donald asked.

“No,” Kane said simply. “In an equal partnership, you need to find a compromise. There often is a win-win.”

“Like when we let Bellamy and the others leave with all those supplies in exchange for the first round of marriages!” Richard piped up, appearing proud of his deductive powers.

“Yes,” Kane supplied.

Richard wasn’t particularly sharp, but Kane did appreciate that he was one of the nicer elders. A few years ago, he and Richard had been sitting inside the library quietly talking. Richard had asked Kane why he’d never married until he’d reached his forties. Kane had shared a bit about life on the Ark, and he didn’t mind telling Richard that he hadn’t wanted to risk losing someone he loved to the Ark’s unforgiving justice system.

And the woman he’d wanted back then hadn’t been available.

“Speaking of a win-win and of the…successful marriages,” Kane began, not being able to bring himself to use the word ‘fruitful.’ “This week brings us to roughly the six month mark. In six months, the air above should be breathable. Have you given more thought to what we discussed earlier?”

Cadogan reached a hand around to rub the back of his neck. Kane watched and tried to gage the leader’s body language. What Kane needed from Cadogan was permission to take a number of supplies from the bunker. He and Abby had spent the past several months speaking with Skaikru. Most wanted to just remain here with the Second Dawn even once the earth was inhabitable. It wasn’t idyllic here but it was safe, with plentiful food. The Second Dawn had been behaving well, especially with Kane continuing to train their guard. Kane took a genuine interest in each of the young men he worked with, though he’d always miss Bellamy and the others. But largely because of Kane’s leadership and diplomatic skills, there had been no major incidents since Dawson Cooper had been shot years ago. Just as when Bellamy had left the bunker, most people were content enough to stay here. Besides, they knew the earth above them was an ugly, barren place. It was not exactly compelling.

As of last count, only 97 Skaikru wanted to leave. Their plan was to trek to Arkadia II and make that their home, and Clarke and the others were on board with that. But the 97 would not be able to do so without copious supplies from the Second Dawn; Arkadia II would need a lot of new farming, medical, and other supplies in order to support their population increasing by a factor of six.

Kane and Abby would, of course, leave with the 97. Since Jaha had married a Second Dawn woman, he would stay and likely just assume the role of Skaikru leader. Although any Skaikru who didn’t leave with the 97 would probably just be considered more Second Dawn than Skaikru at that point.

Something about the look on Cadogan’s face made Kane think that he was coming around. So Kane pressed the advantage. “There have been 16 marriages. And seven babies so far born from them. Our groups have lived in harmony for the past few years. And with most of Skaikru preferring to stay here, you can bet that over the years there will eventually be more unions. And then you add to that the medical and engineering adv—“

“Yes, yes,” Cadogan waved a hand. “The engineering and medical advances. Your Abby has trained both Elizabeth and James so we now have more doctors.” He took a pronounced breath. “Three,” he finally said, the single word spoken as if an entire sentence. He placed both hands flat on the table. “We want **three** more marriages – Skaikru women to Second Dawn men.”

“Yes!” Stephen said, leaning forward and lifting a gnarled finger. “My wife died a year ago, as you all know. Surely one of your young Skaikru women would want to marry me. I’m an elder! What greater honor could one of your women experience than marrying an elder?” He paused, and added, “Also, I want a wife who’s under 25. The younger the better.”

Kane had to keep from audibly sighing. Maybe he didn’t have Cadogan after all. “Skaikru marriages are usually between people close in age,” he said gently. He hoped none of the elders would call out the fact that Jaha had married a woman 20 years younger than he.

Cadogan smiled and spread his hands. “Just try,” he directed. “Try to find three Skaikru brides and let’s talk again closer to the end of the six months. Okay?”

Kane realized this was the most he was going to get today. “Okay,” he agreed. “We will try.”

***

When Kane returned to his room after the meeting, Abby was on the radio with Clarke. He was grateful that the Second Dawn had never, during all these years, detected that Skaikru had a radio. He also had to marvel at the fact that Jaha’s hastily-assembled creations continued to function. Jaha had even rigged one that Abby could wear strapped to her belt. It would silently vibrate if Clarke needed to reach her urgently.

“James did his first extraction today,” Abby spoke into the radio. “He’s started to really improve his finesse. He finally demonstrated that he knows how to gently push and hold, and not just yank the tooth. Can’t risk breaking it!”

As Abby spoke, Kane sat next to her on the bed and kissed the side of her face.

“Marcus is here,” Abby said into the radio while smiling at the man who was, for all intents and purposes, her husband. She placed a hand atop his thigh. “Marcus, do you want to give Clarke and me the rundown of the meeting?”

She handed him the radio, and he recounted what had happened.

“Hmmm,” Clarke sighed when Kane had finished. “Last time we talked, you didn’t think there was anyone who’d do it.”

“I still don’t,” Kane said, his voice subdued. “But maybe I can try talking to Feliciana and Diana again. I don’t love that plan, but maybe it might work with those two Second Dawn brothers.” Feliciana and Diana were a couple. They had elected to take the risk and stay in the Second Dawn bunker both times they’d been given the chance to leave. Feliciana had various medical issues and they felt they were safer here given the well-stocked med bay and the stable food supply -- despite the Second Dawn’s hatred towards people who loved members of the same sex. They had mentioned to Kane that they’d become friends with two Second Dawn brothers, both extremely shy and thoughtful men. They said that they had never discussed their situation with the brothers but thought that they tacitly understood and supported it. They guessed that both of the brothers might themselves be attracted to members of the same sex. Marrying them could remove a lot of potential suspicion on all parts, and all four of them wanted children.

“I don’t love that plan either,” Clarke said. “Besides, you said they wanted **young** women. Aren’t they in….”

“In their late thirties,” Kane supplied. He sighed, “Yeah, I don’t know about this.”

“Maybe I can reach into my favor bank again,” Abby said flatly. “I hate doing it, but if it gives me a chance to live with you again, Clarke, then I will do it. I’ve saved plenty of Skaikru asses over the years.” Her voice then switched from salty to soft, sounding almost as if it would crack, “And I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, mom,” Clarke said gently. “A lot. I wish you – both of you – were here playing some of the dumb games we’ve invented with us. And all of the parents here are real eager for you to meet their kids.”

“We are too.” Abby let out a laugh. “I love that Jackson’s a father now.”

Suddenly a knock sounded on the door. This wasn’t the first time this had happened during a call, and they had a protocol for that. Abby and Kane jumped up, switched off the radio, and placed it under the mattress. Kane gave a reassuring nod to Abby.

Their visitor was a man named Joseph, one of the young members of the Second Dawn guard who Kane was training. Joseph was having some struggles with his father and came to seek Kane’s advice.

***

“Is it weird that I’m jealous of Joseph? Yeah, that’s weird.”

Bellamy answered his own question. He sat side by side with Clarke on their bed. They were babysitting Corinna so that Monty and Harper could take a much-needed nap. Their babysitting gig so far was fairly effortless; Corinna had been sleeping the past hour. Her crib was a small storage container padded with blankets, which was currently propped up on Clarke and Bellamy’s nightstand. They took their babysitting job seriously – they kept their gazes on the sleeping baby as they spoke.

“Come on, it’s not weird at all,” Clarke said as she placed a hand on his thigh. “Kane’s the only father-figure you’ve ever known.”

“He and your mom were the best thing about those awful nine months we were apart,” Bellamy said, tilting his head back. “They kept me sane.”

Clarke had relayed the event that had interrupted her call yesterday with Abby and Kane, and the fact that Kane was once again helping and mentoring one of the young guards. Bellamy had to admit that he missed having that and, yes, he was jealous.

“We have to find a way for the Second Dawn to let them go in six months,” Clarke said resolutely. “With enough supplies.”

“Should we….have Monty and Octavia go over the numbers again?” Bellamy asked.

“Bellamy. They’ve done it a hundred times and you know it.” Monty and Octavia’s calculations indicated that their farms could absorb about 15-20 more people without too much strain. Any more than that meant that their already-slim rations would be decreased. Not to mention that the medicinal plants and other med bay supplies were already minimal. Arkadia II had simply been lucky to have a young and healthy population – and lucky that each of its three childbirths had gone smoothly. There was no way Arkadia II could accommodate 97 more people without a lot of additional supplies.

“I wish,” Clarke began again, “that my mom and Kane could just leave.” She looked downwards and picked at loose threads on her pants. “But they can’t leave their people. Even if Cadogan would open the door for just them.”

“I hate that we have to deal with those Second Dawn lunatics,” Bellamy said shaking his head. “But Praimfaya took away pretty much of all our options. No good choices.”

Clarke tilted her head. “No good choices. Kind of an oxymoron isn’t it?” She then turned to look at her lover. “Should we talk more about this? I mean, how you’re missing Kane.”

“What, and how I’m jealous that his paternal instincts are being used on someone else? No, I just feel silly. I’m 28 years old. I should know better.”

“Hey,” she gently squeezed his thigh. “You lost the one parent you had when you were way too young. It’s not like people can just suddenly outgrow the need for a parental figure. There’s a reason humans raise their young and keep them a lot longer than other species.” Her voice softened as she added, “There’s a reason why so many of us in Arkadia II latched on to Kane and my mom as parental figures.”

Bellamy smiled. “You’re right, Dr. Griffin. Thank you for reminding me that I shouldn’t feel bad about it.“

Clarke shrugged. “I know Jackson used to really fixate on my mom’s attention and approval. I think he’s gotten better at dealing with their separation over the past few years. But you know, everyone is different.”

“Well, he’s got two kids to keep him b-“

Bellamy’s thoughts were cut off by a loud wail. Corinna suddenly woke from her nap and was not happy. She went from sleeping to loudly crying in the span of seconds.

“She’s not due for a feeding for another half hour,” Clarke said, scrambling to hold the baby.

“We’ve got to find another way to get her to stop crying,” Bellamy said, standing by Clarke’s side.

Waiting for Harper and Monty to arrive, Clarke and Bellamy spent the next 30 minutes gently bouncing, cradling, and singing to Corinna – and anything else they thought might get her crying to end. They changed her diaper. But they had to admit that it was a relief when Monty and Harper finally arrived to take her back.

***

Miller and Jackson sat inside the room that had been repurposed as a preschool. The baby Viktor slept inside his makeshift crib – constructed the same way as Corinna’s – as the couple worked on lesson plans for Mary’s next school day. Mary was currently with her moms.

“When the rest of Skaikru gets here,” Jackson mused, “we’ll have more students. That will be nice.”

“Not too many more though,” Miler pointed out. “That latest list from Abby and Kane didn’t have a ton of kids on it.”

Jackson met his partner’s eyes. Mention of the latest Skaikru list sparked something. “Bryan’s on that list,” Jackson said evenly.

“I know,” Miller said, flatly. He looked down. “That will be weird.”

“It will,” Jackson acknowledged. “At least he apologized.” When Bellamy had returned to Arkadia II, he had conveyed Bryan’s apology to Miller and Jackson. They agreed with each other that they accepted it, though of course they had no way to tell Bryan that. Kane, Abby, and Jaha were the only people inside the Second Dawn bunker who knew of the radios.

“Still weird though,” Miller said. “And it’ll be hard to keep our distance from him when only about 100 people will live here.” He took a breath. “That’s the part I really don’t like. We’re gonna have to see him most days – and probably interact with him most days too.”

“So here’s what we do,” Jackson said, leaning forward. He liked having a problem to work on. “We act polite and civil, but nothing more. Keep our distance, but if we end up at the same table with him at a meal, we just be polite and leave it there. We don’t have to ignore him. Just don’t talk to him unless we have to.”

“Yeah,” Miller said. He again looked down. “His actions led to the death of my father. I mean, I know - it was indirect. But what the hell did he think was going to happen when he decided to get us arrested?” Miller asked, raising his hands up in frustration. “He had to have known my dad would’ve done anything to get me out. And he’s really lucky that only one person died in that fight. Murphy got shot that morning too, could’ve easily been killed. Hell, we all could’ve been!”

Jackson sat quietly for a few beats, just looking at Miller and waiting to see if he wanted to continue.

“Some days I feel like I accept his apology, but other days I want to throttle him!” Miller added, shaking his head.

“Totally understandable. But you know that won’t solve anything.”

“Oh, I know.” Miller snorted. “Well – hell – if the stupid elders won’t give Skaikru everything they need to leave then, hey. Won’t have to worry about seeing my damn ex.”

“That would be the silver lining.” Jackson said. He silently mulled over the origin of that phrase. ‘A silver lining to a cloud’, and the fact that he missed being able to see the sky and clouds. He glanced back at Miller and guessed, judging from the look on his face, that he was done talking about Bryan for now. So Jackson changed the subject. “Have you thought more about what we talked about? You – and the school?”

Miller had said a few times that if and when the school expanded, he would want to play a role with it – perhaps as a teacher, or perhaps administering the school. He’d also told Jackson many times that he knew that Raven and Monty ‘and almost everyone else here is smarter than me’, but Jackson continually countered that Miller had a lot to offer and shouldn’t hold back.

“I still want it,” Miller said, his voice conveying a strength that Jackson enjoyed witnessing. “I still want to be more than a guard. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a guard,” he added hastily.

Jackson touched Miller’s arm, giving a gentle squeeze to his biceps. He’d always admired and been attracted to Miller’s physical strength. He felt an excited twinge knowing that he was still attracted to Miller, despite their years together, their many nights being woken up by a screaming baby and hours spent washing diapers together. And he loved that Miller wanted to do more with his time and his talents too.

***

“Why is this section of the storage closet so messy? Look at these bottles out of order! Elizabeth, were you in here last?”

Abby snapped the words out at the young Second Dawn doctor. Upon seeing Elizabeth recoil, Abby took a breath. “I’m sorry,” Abby said quietly. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Elizabeth approached Abby inside med bay’s closet and stood close to her. “I know why you’re upset. I just cannot understand why you and some of your people are so eager to leave,” Elizabeth said. Her voice normally sounded fragile and almost dreamy - and was no different today. Its frailty often seemed at odds with the words that came out of the young doctor’s mouth. “We have it all right here. Our religion gives us a reason to live.” The young doctor shook her head. “I don’t understand why a smart person like you hasn’t seen the light after five years of living here.”

“Four years and eight months,” Abby clarified flatly.

Four months now until the air would be breathable and they could leave the Second Dawn behind. But no progress had been made. Kane couldn’t get the elders to budge: they wanted three Skaikru brides. To make matters worse, they’d added in a requirement that each bride be no older than 25, which ruled out Feliciana and Diana. Abby could not find one Skaikru woman who was single, under 25, and willing to marry a Second Dawn man. Not one.

And Abby could only admit that she couldn’t blame them. She wouldn’t have taken that deal in a million years.

Kane was having various conversations with Skaikru. Since Arkadia II could accommodate about 20 people without too much strain, he and Abby wondered if Skaikru could get its list of people who wanted to depart down to 20. But there was no luck there either; in fact, at last count, the number of Skaikru who wanted to live in Arkadia II had actually gone up.

They were at a stalemate, and Abby hated it. In private, Kane would gently insist that she would see Clarke again someday, but Abby found it hard to find one reason for optimism. If Kane’s diplomatic skills couldn’t get Cadogan and the others to see reason, what would?

Abby was suddenly jolted by a vibrating sensation. The radio that Jaha had built, which she now wore around her waist – it was vibrating. Abby had to reign in her emotions and keep her expression neutral. She and Clarke had agreed that Clarke would only contact her this way in the event of an emergency. Otherwise their conversations occurred in the evenings, before bedtime. Why was Clarke contacting her now?

“Can you excuse me for a moment?” Abby asked Elizabeth. The younger doctor nodded, and left the med bay closet, closing the door behind her.

During the next few seconds as Abby raced to turn the radio on, her mind rapidly turned over scenarios. There simply had been no emergencies on Arkadia II. The only times Clarke had ever contacted her apart from their usual time of day was to report the births of healthy babies. But….no one in Arkadia II was expecting now. Abby’s heart pounded. Could Clarke be pregnant? Would that explain the call? She and Abby had discussed it many times, and Clarke had always said that she and Bellamy were not in a rush and were waiting. Had they changed their minds? Of course they were now forced to use the calendar method of birth control, and its effectiveness rate was only 85%. Could that explain this call? Was Abby about to be a grandmother? If that was the case, she absolutely **had** to find a way to leave this bunker!

“Go ahead Clarke,” Abby urgently whispered into the radio.

“We’re under attack! Armed men are storming the bunker!”

“What?!” Abby bellowed, uncaring if Elizabeth or anyone else in med bay overheard her.

“Men with guns!” Clarke said urgently. Her voice was somewhere between shock and terror. “Inside our bunker. Possibly dozens. I gotta put this radio somewhere safe. Will contact you again if I can.”

With that, the other end of the radio was shut off. Abby stood there stunned. To have gone from thinking that Clarke was contacting her to tell her she was pregnant to hearing that her daughter was under attack. She wisely forced herself to take two deep breaths and then sprinted out of med bay to find Kane.

***

Clarke, Bellamy, Miller, Octavia, Raven, Niylah, Anne, Monty, Emori, Murphy, and Jasper had been sitting inside the mess hall along with the toddler Mary. The mess hall tended to be the usual place that the group congregated in when they weren’t doing combat training, engineering lessons, or Mary’s preschool. It was the middle of the day, and the group was simply sitting around talking about nothing in particular. Mary was in a particularly chatty phase, and able to speak in short sentences though she often mispronounced words. Niylah and Emori had been teaching Mary – and anyone else who was interested – the Trig language, just wanting to keep it alive.

Jackson and Harper were with the two babies – not in the mess hall. Victor had finally gone down for a nap, and Jackson just wanted to sit with him for a bit inside the bedroom. Harper was changing Corinna’s diaper.

“When play lily pads again??” Mary asked, her voice a combination of petulance and excitement.

And then suddenly, the group heard it. A loud sound, like metal being wrenched apart. They all bolted upright and exchanged looks.

“What the hell??” Bellamy asked, jumping to his feet. The rest of the group followed suit, Niylah instinctively scooping Mary up in her arms.

More sounds of metal being forced apart, and then – more loud noises. The terrifying sound of boots stomping and men’s voices, yelling.

“Our guns,” Clarke said. The first group who had left the Second Dawn bunker had been allowed to bring a few guns. The second group hadn’t.

But the storage room where they kept the guns was far from the mess hall. In fact, it was close to the entrance of the bunker, the entrance which now had apparently been torn asunder.

“We’ll never get there!” Bellamy exclaimed, realizing that their bunker somehow was being invaded and knowing the unfortunate location where their guns were kept. The sounds of men’s voices grew louder, and a particularly creepy voice bellowed, “Come out, come out! Who’s down here??” And then another man yelling, “We brought guns with us so you’d best surrender!”

As Clarke radioed her mother, Octavia pointed towards the kitchen. “Knives! We can grab a few.”

***

Bellamy had seen plenty of war, violence, and horrifying circumstances during his lifetime. But he had lived the last four years of his life in peace and had grown used to it. Lately life had been calm, peaceful, and even boring – free of gunshots and free of wounds oozing blood.

So Bellamy could only blink and feel his mind swimming as he took stock of where he was now. His arms and feet were bound, and a gag had been crammed inside his mouth. He sat in the back of a rover with Murphy and Jasper – and three armed men who had their guns at the ready. Two other armed men sat up front. Jasper had been shot and was bleeding profusely; he and Murphy were tied up the same way as Bellamy. Mercifully, Jasper had lost consciousness long ago so at least he wasn’t in pain. But Bellamy feared that the inevitable would happen if Jasper didn’t get medical care soon.

Where they were being taken, Bellamy didn’t know. Who these men were, where they came from, how they had survived Praimfaiya, and how they were breathing now was a mystery. When Arkadia II had lost the battle to keep control of their bunker – and the battle had been a swift one given that Bellamy and the others only had knives to counter their invaders’ guns – the invaders had done something odd and terrifying. They had taken out needles and forcibly injected each Arkadian. Clarke had demanded answers or an explanation, but their captors told them only, “This will make it so you can breathe outside. If you all die of radiation then we can’t put you to work.”

Another one of their captors had said, “Shut up, you don’t even need to tell ‘em that,” and that was about the end of any answers.

Bellamy saw that Jasper’s blood was too dark. He blinked again. It almost looked black. He glanced over at Murphy who was also wounded and noticed that his blood looked black as well. At first Bellamy thought he must be injured and his eyesight was somehow affected. He could only now speculate that whatever bizarre substance the invaders had injected them with was causing their blood to turn black and was enabling them to breathe despite the radiation. It seemed impossible but Bellamy had no other explanation. He wished he could talk with Clarke but she was inside another rover, and was gagged same as he.

Bellamy tried to focus his thoughts again, to observe and think. The invaders wore dirty brown uniforms complete with boots, gloves, and harnesses. Most were male, some female. All looked haggard, strong, angry, and rough. He counted about 16 or 17.

They weren’t grounders. Bellamy knew that right away. When they talked amongst themselves, which wasn’t often, it was always in English, never Trig. They didn’t have any typical grounder tattoos or markings. Even the medical equipment they’d whipped out to do the injections didn’t look like anything Bellamy had seen grounders with.

Bellamy shook his head. Did they come from some other bunker somewhere, having lived underground like the Second Dawn for over a century? Did they come from outer space? Bellamy had never heard anything, either during his two decades on the Ark or afterwards, about anyone living in space other than the inhabitants of the Ark. None of Cadogan’s people had ever said anything about other bunkers with groups of people.

He did hear a few of the invaders use a word he was unfamiliar with: Eligius. Bellamy turned the word over inside his head, trying to determine its origin or what it meant, but he came up with nothing.

Bellamy continued to take stock. During the fight, Jasper had been seriously wounded but fortunately none of the others had. Jackson, Harper, and the two youngest babies were nowhere to be found, either during the fight or when Bellamy and the others had been injected, dragged out of the bunker, and loaded into the rovers. It was wise of them to hide, he knew. Bellamy fervently hoped that they were safe and that they’d come up with a miracle. He just had to hope that none of their captors had stayed behind inside Arkadia II. If they had, how long could Jackson and Harper evade them – and keep two babies quiet?

The rover hit some rough ground and bounced around uncomfortably. Jasper remained unconscious. Monty had almost begged for them to help him, but the only response had been a punch that nearly knocked Monty out. Bellamy had feared that their captors might leave Mary, but they’d done the same with her as they had with the others: injected her with something, and then piled her into a rover. Niylah had held her screaming daughter, best she could with her wrists cuffed.

Bellamy had no idea where they were going. After a while it was clear that they weren’t going in the direction of the Second Dawn bunker.

There was one spark of hope in this miserable situation. Clarke had stuffed her radio into her pants. Their captors had padded each Arkadian down and hadn’t detected it.

**TO BE CONTINUED**   
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	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

Miller was bound and gagged same as all his friends were. Octavia and Monty were inside his rover, along with their armed captors of course. They drove on through the night. They stopped once to drink and relieve themselves, though they didn’t offer anything to the Arkadians – they didn’t even remove their gags. One guard always had a gun trained on them. Miller’s throat burned with thirst and he had to turn away when he saw their captors drinking.

Miller alternated between abject horror and panic, only occasionally finding ways to calm himself down. When the group of rovers stopped for their break, he could hear Mary crying in one of the other rovers. Where were Jackson and Viktor and the others?? They must’ve realized their bunker was being invaded and hid. Would more invaders go back and find them? Either way, would they be able to close and seal the bunker again to avoid the radiation? The bunker door had been opened for a while as Miller and the others were forced out. How long before Jackson and the others would feel its effects? Would the effects be far worse on Viktor and Corinna, given that they were just babies? How much would Jackson and Harper be panicking? Would they try to go after them? But their captors had taken all the rovers. The hazmat suits only had so much air.

One thought popped into Miller’s head. They did have anti-radiation medicine back at the bunker. So if the door being left open for too long was causing problems, if Jackson could get his hands on the drugs then he and the others would be able to survive the radiation. It was a bit of cold comfort but it was the only comforting thought Miller could grasp now.

Miller tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. Like Bellamy and all the others, he’d lived through violence and misery. But he’d also gotten used to a life of peace and love and relative ease. He had no idea what to do now; he couldn’t even get his heart to stop racing.

***

Kane and Abby stood facing each other inside their room, having discussed, debated, and dismissed numerous ideas. Their only feasible choice right now was to wait and hope that Clarke would contact them again.

None of their other options seemed workable. They could insist on or beg for the right to leave the bunker with a team, supplies including guns, and the last few rovers. But given all their discussions with the elders during the past few years, they knew they would be denied. Kane and Abby considered coming clean about the radio, hoping that at least an explanation for their need to urgently leave would make Cadogan relent. But Cadogan always behaved as if the people who had left were lost causes. Clearly not his concern. “He might care about me a little,” Kane speculated. “But I don’t think he would care that much that my step-daughter is in trouble. Remember this is the man who put his own son to death.” They also had to consider the repercussions of admitting that they’d been concealing a radio for years.

Kane and Abby had discussed the possibility of sneaking a small group out. But it would be next to impossible to pull off – stealing all the needed supplies including guns, getting a rover out of the landing bay, getting the door sealed back up – and Skaikru would face an unprecedented backlash from the elders.

Not to mention the question of who would even go on this mission? Other than Kane and Abby, the folks who cared deeply about Clarke and the others were gone. There were a few who remembered the good things that Clarke and the rest of Arkadia II had done for Skaikru like freeing the group from Mount Weather, various medical services that Jackson or Niylah had provided, or even how Clarke and Bellamy worked with Jaha to find this bunker. But memories faded quickly. Kane remembered a recent day when he and Abby had been talking, over lunch, about some of the Arkadians, and the rest of Skaikru sitting at their table seemed to barely remember them. Even Sergeant Miller’s death more than four years ago seemed to have just faded from people’s consciousness. ‘Full bellies and repetitive daily religious services have just lulled everyone,’ Kane thought. Then, less charitably, he amended his thought to, ‘Full bellies, empty minds’. Kane silently chastised himself for that thought. Skaikru were his people, and all 429 of them had lived through hell. He needed to be more empathetic towards them.

During their frantic discussions, Abby clutched the radio in her hand, looking at it every few seconds.

“I can’t take another minute of not knowing!” Abby said, sinking down atop the bed.

Kane slowly paced the room. “Let’s give it 24 hours,” he said. “Twenty-four hours since you heard from Clarke. And then if we don’t hear from her by then….” he let his voice trail off. His eyes met Abby’s.

“We could try begging Jaha for help,” Abby said, tossing her free hand into the air.

Kane ruminated on that idea. The elders seemed to like Jaha, and his Second Dawn wife was a distant relative of two of the elders. Could that possibly be enough leverage to get what they needed?

He nodded. “Let’s wait and then try that.”

Abby looked as if she was going to say more and then closed her mouth again. Kane wondered if they should ask Jaha for help now. If armed men had stormed Arkadia II a couple hours ago, then there was a real chance that Clarke and the others were all dead now. Hell, even if he and Abby had been permitted to take a strike team the moment they’d heard from Clarke, Arkadia II was a full day’s journey by rover. By the time they would have arrived, Clarke and the others might’ve been already massacred.

Kane sat next to Abby on the bed and put his arm around her. He wished he had something more to offer her.

***

Jackson and Harper had one, and only one, thing that gave them hope: the knowledge that Clarke probably had their one functioning radio with her. Years ago, when Bellamy and the others had made their own journey to Arkadia II, they’d brought with them one of the radios that Jaha had made in the Second Dawn bunker. But it had stopped working, and there had been no pressing need to fix it. So Arkadia II had had one functioning radio. And now, Jackson and Harper searched every inch of the bunker for it and couldn’t find it – which had to mean that Clarke had it. She normally wore it strapped to her belt and must have found a way to hide it and bring it with her.

That was the start and the end of any reasons for hope. After the invaders left with their people, Jackson and Harper spent hours huddled by the staircase leading to the bunker’s entrance, terrified that the invaders would return. Harper clutched a gun even though she hadn’t picked one up for years. Jackson knew he spent much of that time just shaking with terror.

There was blood, plenty of it, leading from the mess hall to the bunker entrance. The blood was a gory signal that at least one of their people had been injured badly.

Eventually Jackson and Harper had to leave the bunker entrance and simply hope that the invaders didn’t return. Two screaming babies demanded their attention, though Harper was so traumatized that she hardly had enough milk to feed one baby, let alone both.

When the babies had been fed to the best of Harper’s ability, she and Jackson returned to their vigil by the bunker’s entrance. Harper grabbed a spare gun and gave Jackson a lesson in how to use it, though both were so distraught that Jackson wasn’t sure if he was absorbing any of the lesson. “Miller never taught you how to use one?” Harper asked at one point, her voice shaking. Jackson simply shook his head and said, “Self-defense yes. Using a gun, no.”

More time passed. The babies again needed attention. Jackson and Harper grimly tried to determine what had happened, running over the same questions as to who the invaders had been, where they had come from, and the question of how their fellow Arkadians would survive the toxic air outside. From the moment Jackson and Harper been sure that the invaders were gone, they’d known that they couldn’t go after them. Clearly there had been at least a dozen armed men, armed men who now had all the rest Arkadia II as hostages.

“We could go for the rovers,” Harper said at one point, shortly after the invaders seemed to have departed. “Get in the rovers and follow them.”

But that idea was discarded. They guessed that the invaders likely had found the rovers and taken them. The risk of getting caught was too high. And there were two screaming infants here who could not be left for long.

“I wish we could contact Abby and Kane,” Jackson breathed at one point.

But they couldn’t.

As they searched the bunker, Jackson and Harper noticed that nothing – other than people – had been taken. The invaders hadn’t touched their farms, apparently hadn’t searched for or located the supply room that housed their guns. They apparently only wanted people. “That has to be a good sign,” Jackson whispered at one point. “They wanted them alive. But why?” Nightmarish potential scenarios followed that question.

A few hours had now passed since the invaders took their people, though neither Jackson nor Harper had any sense of time at the moment. Jackson’s insides were nauseated and his legs weak. “We can’t just sit here and wait,” he finally said. “We have to do something.”

“Okay,” Harper said, a brutal smile on her face. “I’ll stay here with the babies so they can be fed and taken care of. You grab a gun and go take on the invaders. Good luck!”

Jackson squeezed his eyes shut. “If I was capable of laughing right now, I’d have laughed at that,” he managed. He was quiet for a few moments and then said, “The Second Dawn. I can go back there and see if Kane can do something – anything -- to help.”

Harper looked down. “If the invaders took all the rovers, it’ll take you **days** to get to the Second Dawn bunker.”

“And by then we’ll have no idea where our people are,” Jackson said glumly.

“Well, if they took the rovers there’d be tire tracks. Unless sandstorms wipe them away.” Harper shook her head. “Also, if there are sandstorms, you might never make it to the bunker.”

Jackson looked down at the gun he held. It felt like such an alien object. “Even if I do somehow make it to the Second Dawn bunker, they might throw me in prison just like last time.” He forced himself to take a breath. “And even if they don’t do that, they still might not help us. They might just keep me there like they kept Bellamy.”

But just as Jackson opened his mouth to continue with the words, “But they might help us,” Harper said the words herself. Their eyes met. At least they were on the same page.

Harper took a breath and added, “Like you said. We have to do something. Doesn’t seem like we have any other options.”

With that, the two of them mobilized. Hazmat suits were examined, the one with the least damage selected, its air tank filled. Anti-radiation drugs, food, water, and a compass were loaded into a backpack. They had to hope the water would be enough to last the journey. Harper gave Jackson another lesson on using the gun, and he tried to focus his mind on paying attention. He wished she could come with him, but simple biology made the decision for both of them. Two infants needed to be fed and cared for, and obviously could not come with.

Before Jackson put on the hazmat suit, he hugged Harper. He squeezed her tightly, just needing to feel the warmth of another human being. He kissed his infant son goodbye and swallowed the lump in his throat, tried to choke down the fear. He set out.

***

Clarke was stunned. It was the valley from her dreams.

She hadn’t dreamt of the valley too much lately, but she always remembered it from her dreams during the months that she and Bellamy were separated. And now here they were. Green grass, tall trees, vibrant flowers. Quaint, cozy houses. Birds singing in the distance.

But the valley had been taken over by the invaders. Clarke guessed there were at least 50 or 60 total, but the valley was large enough that she was sure there were others outside of her visual range as well. And as the rovers travelled even further into the village, Clarke saw something which made her gasp.

A starship. A starship was parked in a field of wildflowers. She made out the word “Eligius” on its side, and remembered hearing the invaders say its name a few times.

Clarke and her people were then forced out of the rovers and onto their knees. Collars were roughly placed around each of their necks. Clarke coughed, trying to get used to the painful, cold metal. She craned her neck around. Bellamy seemed as well as could be. Mary was eerily quiet, clinging to Niylah. Jasper might die soon without medical treatment, Clarke guessed.

Mercifully, Clarke’s wrists and ankles were unbound once her captors had placed the collar around her neck. She saw the captors do the same with the others. Their gags were removed.

“Here, a little gift for you,” a man said. He made a gesture at one of his people, and someone came around, bringing a canteen to each captive’s lips.

Clarke looked at the man who’d spoken. He was tall and perhaps in his mid-forties. His hair was long and brown in the middle, with a buzz cut on either side. He had a beard. As she and the others were given time to take a few sips of water, Clarke planned her next moves. Mostly urgently, Jasper needed medical care. Second priority: Clarke needed a way to get privacy so she could remove her radio from the secure place she’d hidden it. Then after that, she needed information such as where these invaders came from, what their plans were, what Clarke and her people had been injected with, and how this valley had survived the death wave. But first things first. Were these men going to allow Jasper to bleed to death?

“Please,” Clarke spoke, her voice ragged. She tried to meet the man’s eyes. “He needs medical care,” she said, turning her head in Jasper’s direction.

The man spoke as if Clarke hadn’t said anything. “Here’s how this is going to work. You want medical care for your friend, or water to drink, or food to eat, you do as we say. You work. You decide to disobey, well, then….no food, no water, no help for your friend – who I must say doesn’t look so good. Oh,” he added, with a smile, “and those collars we put on you.” He tilted his head at one of his men who was holding a device. “Let’s show ‘em what else we’ll do if you disobey.”

The man pressed a button on his device. Murphy began screaming in agony. Emori tried to rush towards him, but another invader knocked her down. After a few seconds, the man pressed another button and Murphy stopped convulsing and screaming. He collapsed onto his side, panting.

“Shock collars are a beautiful thing.” The man took a few steps closer to Clarke and smiled. “My name’s McCreary. I’m the guy in charge.”

“So we’re your slaves,” Clarke said flatly.

McCreary peered down at her. Clarke forced herself to calmly meet his eyes even though her insides were lurching. She knew that despite the position she was in – kneeling on the ground with a collar around her neck – she could still look imposing and confident.

“You remind me of someone,” McCreary said, grinning. He took his gaze from Clarke and looked at the others. “Someone else who was too smart for her own good and asked a lot of questions. We ask the questions here. Glad we found you. We need some free labor.” He paused. “Those rovers that you parked a few clicks away from your bunker led us right to you. Figured we’d see who was inside. Did we miss anyone? This everyone in your group?”

“Yeah, this is everyone,” Clarke said. She continued to compel herself to meet his eyes with her steely gaze. Wanheda. The appellation from her past popped into her memory. She reminded herself that she could fight impossible odds and win.

McCreary seemed to be deciding what to say next, Clarke thought. He opened his mouth and then closed it. He looked sideways. Then he said, “We’ll ask you more questions later on. I’m a bit curious about what happened to this planet while we were gone, but it can wait. I’m not in a chatty mood today. Let’s get you to work. There’s a lot to do to make this livable for 100 people.”

McCreary then seemed to notice Mary. He strode up to her and reached out a hand. As Niylah clutched the child, Mary buried her face in her mother’s shoulder. McCreary patted the top of her head.

“You do what we say,” McCreary said, “and we’ll be good to your little girl. I’m gonna be a daddy myself in a few months.”

Clarke filed that piece of knowledge away. She scanned the rest of McCreary’s people best she could. Mostly men, some women. The shapeless jumpsuits they wore didn’t make it easy to tell who might be pregnant. But if McCreary really was going to be a father and if he truly cared about his unborn child, that could be useful information.

“Please,” Clarke said. “Jasper needs medical attention.”

McCreary eyed Jasper, who was slumped on the ground, before turning to Clarke. “Let’s get the rest of you to work. You work hard enough, we’ll see what we can do for your friend here.”

***

Twelve hours. It had been twelve hours since Jackson had left the bunker. Harper knew that because she’d forced herself to write down the exact time he departed. She wished she knew how long it had been since their friends were taken. As much as she tried, Harper couldn’t calculate how much time elapsed from the moment Monty and the others were taken to when Jackson left the bunker. Three or four hours? More?

Harper paced around the bunker shaking, trying to feed and calm one baby at a time. Her gun was strapped to her back. She thought back to Mount Weather, to being forced onto a table, screaming in agony as they tore bone marrow from her. Helpless to do anything to stop it. At times she felt light-headed, at other times nauseated. When she passed a bathroom, she headed for a toilet and retched into it though nothing came up. She forced herself to walk to the kitchen and eat something. She was barely producing enough milk to feed one baby, and she had to somehow feed two now.

_What if I never see Monty again? What if we never find him or the others? What if the Second Dawn refuses to help, what if Jackson never makes it there – or never gets back here?_

_What if I spend the rest of my life down here alone with the two babies?_

Some indeterminate amount of time later, Harper pulled herself together best as anyone could in her situation. She found herself on her knees, wiping up the blood from whoever had been injured during the fight, sobbing quietly.

***

_One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Eyes sharp. Keep the gun ready, replay everything Harper said._

_This is going to be a mental test. I need to keep my thoughts steady and focused. I’m walking back to the Second Dawn bunker. I will cover as much ground as I can before stopping to rest. I will keep going. If I ever want to see Nate or Mary or anyone else I love again, I need to arrive at the Second Dawn bunker in one piece._

_Anytime negative thoughts come up, I’m going to put them away._

_No more wondering whether Nate or Mary are even still alive._

_No more worrying about stepping into a bear trap, getting hit by a sandstorm, or running into more invaders._

_No more worries that the Second Dawn will throw me back into prison, that they won’t tell Kane, and I’ll spend the rest of my life back in that prison cell. Or that they won’t even let me back inside, and that I don’t have enough water to survive the return to Arkadia II._

_Think positive. I’m strong and healthy. Adrenaline is surging, giving me energy. I can do this. Viktor is safe with Harper. At least one of my children will live. The fact that the invaders took Nate and the others alive has to mean that they don’t want to kill them._

_And the rover tracks. They veered off hours ago. Less chance I’ll run into one of the invaders then._

_One foot in front of the other. I will make it to the Second Dawn bunker and they will let me in. Then they will help._

***

“I don’t know what to tell you, Abby. I doubt they’ll let us open that door, much less take a team up to the surface.”

Jaha spoke the words straightforwardly to Abby and Kane. The three stood inside Kane and Abby’s room, almost exactly 24 hours since Clarke’s frantic radio contact.

There had been no contact from Clarke since.

“They view the people who left for the Unworthy as, well, unworthy,” Jaha added, using the name that Cadogan and the others had always used for the other bunker and its people. “They would say that if they wanted to be protected, they never should’ve left.”

“We don’t know what befell Clarke and the others,” Kane began, his voice measured and rational. “But what about making a case for self-preservation? If armed men stormed their bunker, then surely they might storm ours. We need to know what we might be facing.”

“The Second Dawn has shared with us that over the decades, they’d always sent spies up to the surface to keep tabs on the grounders,” Abby added. Her heart was in turmoil but she kept her mind razor-sharp. “That’s all we’re asking for now. Just as they used to do, send a team up to see what information can be gathered.”

“And I’ve been training the guard. I can lead the team,” Kane insisted. “Good soldiers who will follow me.”

Jaha shook his head. “We’d have to tell them about the radio,” he said. As Abby watched him, she suspected that this was the real reason for Jaha’a reluctance. “That will not go over well.”

“Can you frame it along the lines of a mother being worried for her child?” Abby asked. “The elders like you. Tell them you took pity on me and wanted to help give me a way to talk to my daughter. Tell them you wanted one of our only doctors to be able to function at her best, and you knew she needed a way to talk to her daughter to do it.”

“Maybe start with Henry and Thomas,” Kane pressed, naming the two elders who were relatives of Jaha’s wife Alice. “Henry is pretty influential among the elders. I feel he’d sympathize with a mother’s desire to be in touch with her child – and he’d want to know if this bunker could be under threat. He’s good at thinking strategically.”

Jaha pressed his hands together and silently paced around the room. Abby glanced at Kane. She had to clamp down on a smile, because she was pretty sure they had him. “Okay,” Jaha said, nodding slowly. “I will speak with Henry and Thomas. If they approve, we will convene a meeting of the elders.”

When Jaha left the room, Abby reached for Kane. He embraced her tightly. “Hope,” he said. “We have cause for some hope.”

She returned the embrace, almost allowing herself to relax against him. “Thank you, Marcus,” she murmured. “You’ve been keeping me sane during this.”

“I love you,” he said simply.

“I love you too.”

***

A few hours after arriving in Shallow Valley, Bellamy found himself working alongside Monty and Octavia holding rakes and hoes as they tilled a field. The loathsome McCreary had assigned two other men to oversee them. Although neither man introduced himself, both seemed somewhat sane and rational. When Monty and Octavia explained that they had a farming background, the men listened. “I can get this done a lot faster for you,” Monty had said, waving his arm towards the field. “But I need for my friend to get medical care.”

The two captors looked at each other and one finally said. “We got a doctor. When he’s not drunk, he’s alright at his job. He’s taking care of your friend. So shut up and get to work!”

Bellamy worked quietly and efficiently. Before he’d been brought to this field, he’d seen Clarke ushered into a building, along with Niylah, Murphy, and the child. Bellamy looked around and tried to take stock.

The valley was beautiful, no doubt about that. Monty would occasionally marvel at the soil’s quality, at the fact that this place had somehow survived the death wave. Bellamy also noted that whatever substance he and the others had been injected with, it was continuing to do its job. They had no trouble breathing the post-Praimfaya air. No one seemed to be experiencing any side-effects either.

“What do they need us for?” Octavia grumbled at one point, when she and Bellamy happened to end up near each other. “McCreary said they had 100 people.”

“They’re lazy,” Monty said, walking by. “They could’ve left us alone and done this themselves but they don’t want to.”

Bellamy put a hand on Monty’s shoulder, knowing he was missing Harper and Corinna like crazy and worried out of his mind for them and Jasper. Bellamy glanced at their two overseers. He again guessed that they weren’t as bad as McCreary. After all, they weren’t breaking up this conversation.

“Let me try to talk to them next time I get near them,” Bellamy said. “They said they’ll give us water soon, maybe I can get some info out of them. We need more facts if we’re going to figure out a way out of this.” He was doing his best to think like Clarke right now. Thinking of her – and her strategic mind – was giving him strength and energy.

Perhaps the men were desperate to talk to someone new. When they obliged Bellamy with a few sips from a canteen, the taller one seemed to want to talk. “Saw your starship,” Bellamy began. “Very impressive.”

With that jumping off point, the captor spoke with Bellamy. He learned that their captors were prison labor sent into space on a mining ship sometime before the first apocalypse. There had been a mutiny, engine damage, “and a couple hundred deaths”, so their return to earth took much longer than expected. “We were in cryosleep for a long time!” the man added, almost as if bragging. They had all been injected with the same serum that they’d forced on the Arkadians, making them resistant to radiation. When they finally reached earth, their sensors located this valley, the last green place on earth. “Been sending out parties to explore,” the man continued. “We saw your rovers and they led us right to your bunker. Thank god. I’m so sick of working!”

Bellamy forced himself to concentrate and listen though his ears partly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Cryosleep? Prisoners sent into deep space to mine other planets? Well, he reminded himself, ALIE and the City of Light weren’t any less strange. He also wanted to smirk at the man’s declaration that he was “sick of working” as it seemed very little work had been done on this field at all.

As the man continued speaking, Bellamy did find it odd that he never asked Bellamy anything about himself. Didn’t McCreary’s people wonder why a handful of humans were living underground inside a bunker? And were they really just going to take Clarke’s word that they were the only ones? Bellamy ruminated on it. Apparently, he concluded, these men weren’t terribly curious or used to doing much critical thinking. Maybe that was a weakness that could be exploited.

One thing about their captors wasn’t weak though. As chatty as the one man was, both he and his counterpart held the devices in their hands. The devices that controlled their shock collars.

“Well, we better get you back to work before McCreary comes to check on us,” the man concluded. “So – move!”

***

Clarke’s first few hours after arriving in the valley were spent clearing away the remains of the grounders who’d lived inside this valley before Praimfaiya. They were in various stages of decomposition, though without predators to eat at their flesh, many of the bodies were surprisingly intact. Clarke could only marvel, as Bellamy himself was doing simultaneously while working in the field, at the laziness of their captors. They clearly had been here for several days and hadn’t done anything with the deceased grounders other than shoving their bodies to the side.

Clarke was directed to a trash heap to place the remains atop, so she carried them there one by one. Niylah was also assigned to help, with a silent and terrified Mary clinging to Niylah’s legs. Niylah quietly prayed over each body, which McCreary seemed to tolerate. He would occasionally glance at Mary and smile.

Clarke, too, wanted to mourn or at least pause to acknowledge the dead, but she had to stay on track. “We can help you with your trash,” Clarke said to McCreary. “After all, you can’t just keep this pile growing – you gotta do something with all the garbage. We can help you with composting food scraps, and setting up a system for your waste.”

McCreary laughed and shook his head. “You’re just like a certain woman I know. Always wanting to fix everything and lead everything.” The look in his eyes suggested that he both admired and hated this woman. Possibly even feared her.

Clarke saw an opening. “Is this woman the mother of the child you’re expecting?”

“Yep.”

“Where is she?”

McCreary glanced in the direction of the starship and then met Clarke’s eyes again. “Stop asking so many questions and get back to work. Don’t make me use this collar again. And don’t ask me again about how your friend’s doing. Our doctor is working on him. Last I looked, I think your friend was alive.” He smiled and added, “Maybe.”

Not happy with McCreary’s answer, Clarke nonetheless gathered that she’d pushed McCreary as far as she could right now. She got back to work, hoisting another body and heading towards the heap behind the building. McCreary’s glance had given away that the mother of his child might be on board the ship. Did she prefer to stay inside it or was she a prisoner? Could she be of use? McCreary seemed to imply that she was smart.

“Look at this one.”

Niylah’s soft voice cut through Clarke’s thoughts. Niylah was holding the body of a child, a girl who’d been perhaps 8 or 9 years old at the time of death. “She didn’t die in Praimfaya,” Niylah said.

Clarke took a look and could clearly see that Niylah was right. The child’s remains were far less decomposed than any of the others. It appeared that the girl had died maybe only a year or two ago. It was a bit shocking. How had she survived Praimfaya for so long? Could there be another bunker somewhere? But if so, what was the girl doing outside of the bunker and how had she even made it to this valley? In any case, Clarke felt her heart lurch just a bit looking at the girl. “Your fight is over,” she whispered.

As the day wore on, Clarke couldn’t get the girl – and the mystery of how she’d survived Praimfaya – out of her mind. But she knew she had to focus on strategy, not on the unknown girl. Clarke needed to get some time alone so she could use the radio, and she needed to check on Jasper.

But neither was going to happen soon. McCreary watched her like a hawk. When Clarke was finally given a break to relieve herself, McCreary assigned one of his female soldiers to watch Clarke’s every move.

***

If there was one thing Marcus Kane could be satisfied with, it was this: the knowledge that the elders finally trusted him. Every boring conversation held with one of these men, every time Kane had forced himself to pay attention during daily services so he could hold his own in a dialog, every time he’d diplomatically handled sexist comments, every patient moment he’d spent training the guards, it all was paying off now.

It had been almost 48 hours since Clarke had radioed, and there had been no follow-up communications from her. Once Jaha had agreed to help, it had taken another day for the elders to be convened and for Kane to make his case. As much as Kane tried to be prepared for anything, one moment had shocked him. When the subject of the radio had come up, Cadogan had waved a hand in the air and said, “Yes, we’ve known about your radio for years.”

In any case, the elders agreed that whatever threat Clarke had radioed about needed to be examined. Kane was given approval to take a small team of guards and the necessary equipment on a reconnaissance mission. “Just find out the situation,” Cadogan directed. “Don’t try to be heroes, but learn what you can about what happened.”

Cadogan also gave Jaha approval to begin constructing a second radio. Kane and his team would have to set out without one, but Cadogan said, “Given this new possible threat, let’s give ourselves every advantage, including a back-up radio.”

Kane and Abby did not plan to have a tearful farewell. Neither had left the bunker in nearly five years, and they had been by each other’s sides constantly. They never went for more than a few hours without seeing each other. Kane understood that Abby didn’t want to see him leave, but she was desperate for news of Clarke, and her love for Clarke would always supersede all else. He knew that her mind had been focused solely on Clarke, and once Cadogan had given the go-ahead for the recon mission, Abby had done everything she could to help Kane get his team and supplies ready.

So their farewell was brief, though intense. As the four young guards who were accompanying Kane said goodbye to their families, Kane and Abby unselfconsciously hugged and exchanged ‘I love you’s’. Only when they had finished and Abby had turned away did Kane see the wetness in her eyes.

***

Bellamy had done ‘grueling’ before. The month he spent, years ago, digging out Arkadia II, for one example. Almost everything that had happened from the time he’d first touched his boots to earth’s ground had required strength and endurance. And now inside Shallow Valley, when he and others were finally given a bit of food and allowed to sleep, he was about as exhausted as he’d ever remembered being.

He and the other captives were led to an almost-empty structure and told they could sleep on the floor. Two guards pulled up chairs, grasped the devices that controlled their collars, and sat up straight to do nothing more than watch their prisoners sleep.

Bellamy and Clarke reached for each other and embraced. He hadn’t been able to even touch her since they’d been taken captive. He felt that she was as tired as he was, and they slowly lowered themselves to the ground along with the others so they could rest.

“No talking!” one of the guards bellowed, as soon as Murphy tried to open his mouth to say a few words to Emori. “Yeah,” the other guard added, “it’d be kinda fun to use the shock collars again, so don’t give us an excuse!”

Bellamy clung to Clarke. It was dark and he couldn’t see her face. He realized she was tapping on his arm gently. Although Bellamy’s mind was foggy and his body exhausted, he caught on right away. She was using Morse code! The same code that both had learned from Pike on the Ark.

It took a while, but using Morse code they shared the information they’d gleaned today. They needed to find a way to use the radio, but the two guards watching them right now looked vigilant. They needed to find an opportunity to check on Jasper. The valley was beautiful and they had no idea how it survived the death wave. They shared what they’d learned about their captors. They hoped the others back at Arkadia II were safe.

Bellamy finally had to tap out words to the effect that he was exhausted, so Clarke tapped out that she loved him, and each fell into a fitful sleep. Bellamy dreamed that this was all just a nightmare, and each time he woke, he was stunned and devastated to realize that this was actually happening.

**TBC**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

Jackson looked at his compass. He was still heading in the right direction. Then checking his timepiece, he saw that he’d left Arkadia II about 52 hours ago.

_Good. Should be more than halfway there now, and I still have more than half my water left. My legs still feel strong. My heart is beating too fast and my stomach hurts, but that’s just anxiety. I can do this._

_I don’t feel hungry but it’s been almost seven hours since I’ve eaten, so I do need to eat something. Might as well stop now._

He squatted down, not wanting to allow himself to get comfortable and run the risk of falling asleep. Now was not the time for a long break, but he welcomed the chance to set his pack down. Jackson had gotten a lot of exercise during the past few years with his self-defense training, but even still the amount of water he had to carry was putting his every aching muscle to the test. Carefully in the awkward gloves, he removed his helmet. He knew that if he continued making such good time, pretty soon he could keep the helmet off and just rely on the anti-radiation drugs to get him back to the Second Dawn bunker.

As Jackson slowly unscrewed his canteen, he heard a noise. He jumped back to his feet, carefully securing the canteen. He looked around and didn’t see anything, but the noise was steady. It was definitely the sound of a rover. Apparently the people who’d captured his family were back now. He and Harper had always known that was a possibility, though it was still horrifying to realize it was truly happening.

Jackson surveyed his surroundings. The last stretch of the journey had been particularly monotonous, with nothing but sand and dirt for miles. As the rover drew nearer, Jackson knew he had nowhere to hide. There was not even a sand dune to jump behind. He could start running, but where to? In the orange hazmat suit, he stood out against the dull beige landscape.

And then he was stunned when he heard someone calling his name. “Jackson!”

Jackson’s mouth fell open, and he could just make out Marcus Kane behind the wheel. Clarke must’ve gotten a message to the Second Dawn bunker!

Jackson climbed into the back of the rover as Kane said, “Tell me everything!”

***

Harper held Viktor; he’d always cried more and needed more attention than Corinna, and now especially that his own mothers were gone, the baby was even more inconsolable. She did the best she could with him, while being grateful that Corinna at least was being her usual placid self.

It had been 53 hours since Jackson had left Arkadia II. If all was going well, he was over halfway to the Second Dawn bunker now, she knew. Harper continued to do a lot of pacing around, since sleep had been eluding her. She took another breath. As she mentally composed another note to Monty, she told him that she was 20% freaking out, 80% forcing herself to be optimistic that something would pan out. Either Jackson would get to the Second Dawn bunker and they’d agree to help, or Clarke would contact Abby via the radio she’d smuggled out. Maybe both. The Second Dawn elders weren’t all monsters – though Donald certainly was, as Harper knew all too well. John Cadogan at times had seemed almost reasonable. If nothing else, they’d send a party out to examine the potential danger, right? And she reminded herself that even if the Second Dawn decided not to lift a finger, Clarke, Monty and the others had worked their way out of worse situations before.

Those thoughts comforted her best as anything could right now. She continued to walk, this time heading for the farms. She cut off a few sprigs of mint, chewing them and enjoying the way they refreshed her mouth. Viktor seemed like he was settling down. As soon as he joined Corinna in a nap, Harper would go through the daily maintenance tasks that Monty and Octavia usually covered on the farms and see what needed to be done. Then she’d force herself to eat more. Her milk production had been decent the past day or so, and she had to keep eating.

Harper did, occasionally, have to blink and remind herself that this wasn’t just a lonely nightmare.

***

It was towards the end of her second day of servitude that Clarke found her opportunity. She, Bellamy, and Miller had been put to work that day repairing a roof. This cottage was, fortunately, set a bit further apart from the others in the valley. And even more luckily, one of their guards was dozing, slumped over in a chair. Clarke exchanged a look with Bellamy, and he went to chat up the remaining guard. The remaining guard, a young woman, returned Bellamy’s smile and seemed interested in talking to him. Clarke hid behind a wall, unzipped her pants, and grabbed her radio.

“It’s Clarke. Come in!”

She waited, darting her head around, her breathing ragged. If one guard woke up or the other noticed that she was out of visual range, the consequences could be severe. Murphy hadn’t said anything but she could tell that he was still shaken from when his shock collar had been used as a demonstration. And losing the radio would be their death knell.

“I’m here! What happened?”

Abby’s ragged voice came over the radio. Clarke knew they had limited time and she had to speak fast. “Armed men took us out of the bunker. We’re in some valley and they’re forcing us to work as their slaves. At least 100 men, lots of guns, and they put shock collars on us. I’d estimate this valley is about 150 miles northeast of the Second Dawn bunker but I don’t know for sure.”

“Got it!” Abby said.

Clarke was grateful for her mother’s sharp mind and strong memory. Abby could be steady under pressure, Clarke knew and thus she didn’t need to repeat herself.

Abby then said, “Kane and a few guards were allowed out to do recon. They don’t have a radio though. How are you able to breathe out there?”

“They injected us with something that turned our blood black. Don’t know what it is or how it works. This valley is gorgeous, lots of food, lots of space. It’s like the death wave just sk—“

Clarke heard Miller make a sharp whistle. She swiftly put her radio back in its hiding place and stepped towards Miller to get back to work. The sleeping guard was now awake and yelled, “Hey, don’t step out of my eyesight again!”

“Sorry!” Clarke responded, and got back to work.

***

Miller continued to work shoulder to shoulder with Clarke and Bellamy. He believed he’d spent much of the previous 24 hours dazed and almost in shock. But now his predicament was hitting him and he was struggling to weather it.

When they’d gone down to sleep the night before, Miller had taken a moment to hold Mary in his arms. She liked it when he sang, so he sang a few lines of a song though his voice shook and one of the guards yelled at him to be quiet.

Several times during Niylah’s pregnancy, Anne had said, ‘Remember, having a child will make you feel like your heart is walking around outside your body. My mom used to say that to me.’ Miller knew that Anne was right; he especially felt it now. When Miller wasn’t missing Jackson and feeling torn in two because he didn’t know where his partner was, he was worried about Mary and Viktor. Miller constantly tried to console himself with the thought that Jackson, Viktor, and the others were safe inside Arkadia II. Worried out of their minds, but safe. That was a blessing. But Mary had been eerily silent all day today, and they had to coax and nearly beg her to eat. This morning McCreary had again patted her head and allowed her to remain with Niylah.

Miller realized that he’d spent almost every night of the last five years at Jackson’s side, and being apart from him last night left him feeling hollow and lost. He tried to focus. He took a few seconds to marvel at this valley and its beauty. How crazy it was that all along this valley was just a day’s journey from Arkadia II?

At least there was Clarke and her radio. Although they hadn’t been able to talk, Miller thought it looked like Clarke had been able to get a message out. That had to help. He replayed the words Clarke had whispered to the group that morning: “We stay alive and we wait for the right opportunity.”

***

“Do you have any idea where they went?” Kane asked, once Jackson had shared all that he knew.

“I can show you where their tire tracks veered off. It was a ways back,” Jackson said, gesturing in the direction of Arkadia II. “But we don’t know anything more than that. Harper and I hid ourselves and the babies best we could, which means we didn’t hear much.”

“Okay,” Kane said firmly. “That’s our best lead. We’ll try to pick up their tracks and see what we can learn from there. Stay sharp and stay listening, everyone. They took four rovers and we might run into them sooner than we want. Keep your guns at the ready.”

Jackson finally exhaled and sat back against the rover’s wall. He was in the back with three Second Dawn guardsmen; Kane and the fourth sat up front. They had discarded their hazmat suits in favor of the anti-radiation medication. Sitting down now, Jackson appreciated how much his legs had begun to ache.

Although Kane had told the group to listen for the sounds of other rovers, he did speak to Jackson. “Brave thing you did, Jackson, setting out like that.”

“I had no choice,” Jackson answered. “My kids – my whole family – their lives are at stake.”

“How were they doing? The children. Tell me how they’ve been doing – before all of this.”

“All the kids were thriving,” Jackson said. He appreciated Kane’s question as it gave him something good to focus on, and he noticed that he was smiling for the first time since the attack. “Mary talks all the time. Some of it is babble but her sentences are getting good. Viktor’s getting better at sleeping through the night – but Corinna’s always been the best in that area.” Corinna, of course, wasn’t “his” but he cared deeply for her as he did for everyone in Arkadia II.

“Um, can I ask?” the young guard sitting across from Jackson began. “How is it that you have kids? I thought you were….” His voice trailed off, and then he muttered, “Sorry, never mind.”

“You can ask the question, Joseph,” Kane said, tilting his head up to look at Joseph in the rear view mirror. “As long as you’re being respectful, which I know you will be.”

Jackson’s ears perked up at the name Joseph. From his occasional talks with Abby, he knew that Kane spent a lot of time with Joseph, and that Joseph’s family life wasn’t easy.

“Okay, well,” Joseph continued, “I remember you from when you were here before. You fixed my arm when it was sprained. Anyway, I thought you and that other guy were…uh, a couple, so how is it that you have kids?”

“Miller and I are raising them with Anne and Niylah,” Jackson answered simply. “The four of us decided to do this together since we all wanted kids.” He paused and added, “From my time living in your bunker, I remember that you all seemed to embrace the concept of having an extended family. So it’s like that with us, but the main difference is that all four of us are very involved as parents. Sometimes we disagree with each other about parenting decisions, but we’re good about discussing it.” He then added, “You remember Anne, right?”

“Yeah, she’s my cousin,” Joseph said. The guard next to Joseph gave a bemused snort and added, “Well half of us are related in some way or another to the other half, so Anne’s my cousin too!”

The group continued to converse, though Jackson noticed that the guards were careful to keep their voices down and listen for other rovers. Kane had trained them well, though Jackson wasn’t surprised by that. Miller still sometimes talked about the time that he and Kane had worked together against Pike, all those years ago.

Jackson asked Kane how Abby was faring, though he of course spoke with Abby somewhat regularly. Kane answered and then added, “She wants to meet those kids of your someday. And I know she will.”

“Kane, do you think,” Jackson began a little later on, “we should stop in on Arkadia II and just make sure that Harper and the babies are doing okay?”

“I thought about that,” Kane answered, taking a breath. “But our mission here is recon, and we have no reason to think that they wouldn’t be okay. Let’s first see what we can find out about the people who took Clarke and the others. That’s our priority and we have to stick to it.”

The group continued to drive towards Arkadia II, hoping to be able to pick up the tire tracks of the invaders.

***

It was now day three of servitude for Clarke and the others. She and Raven were placed on meal duty. Feeding 100 people required a lot of labor despite the bounty provided by the valley – the preparation, cooking, and cleanup work seemed endless, especially given the sloppy way these duties had been handled before. The first group of Arkadians to be assigned to food prep had needed hours to just clean the filthy cooking supplies. “No wonder these lazy bastards needed effing slaves,” Raven had grumbled until the guard standing next to her threatened to use the collar if she spoke one more word.

Clarke was scrubbing dishes after lunch that day when McCreary strode up to her. “Two of my boys got into a fight, and one of ‘em got his nose busted up. Our doctor’s drunk. You keep saying you’re a doctor, so get to it!”

Clarke stood up straight and mustered her courage, as she looked him in the eye. “Only if you let me check on Jasper first. You keep saying he’s fine but you haven’t let any of us see him. Also, let me bring Niylah or Anne too; they’re both nurses.”

McCreary stood and peered down at Clarke. “You’re just like Diyoza,” he grumbled, shaking his head. Clarke filed the name away, as McCreary responded, “No. Just you. If you’re that good then you don’t need any damn nurses. And yeah, check on your friend too. He didn’t look so good this morning. Go!”

Infuriated, Clarke set out in the direction of the cottage that the Eligius people used as a med center. Upon entering the room, her heart sank. The room stank of marijuana. A thin, elderly man sat in a chair, napping. Based on his uniform, Clarke guessed he was the doctor. The man with the broken nose sat howling in another corner, blood dripping out. He began a litany of curse words as soon as Clarke entered.

And Jasper lay on a table, still and silent. Clarke spotted a few bandages sloppily placed on him, stained with dried blood. He had an IV in his arm, but checking the bag, Clarke saw that whatever had been in it was gone. His wounds were swelling, and when Clarke touched Jasper’s forehead, she found him feverish. She sprung into action mode, searching the room and determining what could be used to help save her friend. She drowned out the angry Eligius man and got to work.

***

Kane’s recon mission came to a grinding halt. After just a couple hours of following the invaders’ tire tracks, the group hit a sandstorm. They quickly pitched the chem tent and huddled inside of it, waiting out the storm. Jackson again could only appreciate Kane’s skill at training these young Second Dawn men. The efficient way they followed Kane’s orders made Jackson think they were indistinguishable from the guard back up on the Ark. (Well, he added, with the exception of the fact that the Ark had female guards and the Second Dawn did not). And then waiting inside the chem tents, the hours gradually turned into one day but still the young men were disciplined and focused. Kane threw out topics to get them talking and keep their minds sharp. Any one of the men might’ve been terrified during his first trip outside the bunker, but Kane knew just what to say to remind them that struggles brought growth and confidence. Listening to Kane talk, Jackson thought of how much he had missed him and not just Abby.

When the sandstorm finally passed, Kane made the decision that the group would return to the Second Dawn bunker. “We know the general direction they went and we know who they have,” Kane said. “Jaha’s building another radio, and we need more supplies. We’ll recoup inside the bunker and figure out our next steps. By the time we get there, the other radio should be ready.”

Jackson climbed back into the rover and swallowed a lump in his throat. He was going back to the Second Dawn bunker, and he had a visceral reaction to the place. His body would never forget that grotesque prison cell even though it had been years since he’d been inside of it. But Jackson reminded himself that his solo journey outside Arkadia II could have ended in a hundred horrible ways, and he was beyond lucky to have met up with Kane’s team and to be traveling with them now. He resolved to stick by Kane’s side once they returned to the bunker, and he felt a measure of security at that idea.

***

“Someday I’m gonna throw you into that prison cell on the ship with Diyoza. And I’m gonna enjoy watching you both rot inside it. But…you patched up my guys today, so sure. Go ahead and have a little talk with your people.”

McCreary spoke the words to Clarke, practically spitting them out, after she insisted on getting a chance to talk with Bellamy and Monty. Exasperated, he pushed her in the direction of the field where Bellamy and Monty were working today, and he followed her as they marched there.

When Clarke saw Bellamy, she wanted to run up to him and hug him. They’d spent the last night the same way they’d spent all their nights here – cuddled together and communicating via Morse code until exhaustion overtook them. She needed time to just hug him and be with him and talk to him about something other than survival. Part of her truly wanted to collapse in his arms for a minute or two. But she needed to be strong, especially for what was coming next.

Bellamy and Monty were allowed to set their farming tools down and head over to Clarke. With McCreary standing behind her, Clarke took a breath. “I was allowed to see Jasper today,” Clarke said. She felt her throat catch when she saw Monty’s expression, and she forced herself to remain steady. “He’s not in good shape. I think he has sepsis.”

Clarke saw Monty trying to be brave and focused. She knew he had been spending every waking moment worried about the three people he loved the most and that it was agonizing. Monty asked a few questions about Jasper’s condition, and McCreary stood behind Clarke as she answered them.

At one point, Clarke turned around and asked, “McCreary, can’t we-“

“No,” he answered. “And chat time’s over now. Get back to work.”

With that, he gave Clarke a rough push back in the direction of the kitchen. Clarke had wanted to ask McCreary for permission to use the med bay on board the ship; judging from the ship’s size, she knew it had to have one and hoped it was well-stocked. As she walked back towards the kitchen, she tried to think of options. Jasper was running out of time.

***

“I can build a damn radio!”

Harper spoke the words to herself one morning. It had been four and a half days since Jackson’s departure now. Harper had been speaking her words out loud, telling herself that it was good for both babies to hear her talking, to listen to something other than soothing baby talk.

“How many years did I spend in engineering class with Raven? Yeah, I’m not Monty and I was never the breakout student that Emori was. But Raven’s left a ton of notes in engineering. Maybe I can also find whatever notes Emori took when she’d talked about making a radio too. It’s worth a try.”

Filled with purpose, Harper scooped both babies up and headed for engineering. Anything was better than the endless days of waiting. The four and a half days already felt more like four weeks.

***

Jackson stood watching Kane and Abby embrace each other. While his heart was warmed at seeing Abby again for the first time in four years, his throat caught at the sight of her in the Second Dawn dress – even though he’d known about it, it was still hard to witness with his own eyes. As Abby squeezed Kane against herself, Jackson understood that it must have been hard for her to let Kane go on the mission. They hadn’t left each other’s sides for years now. Jackson would give anything to be able to hug Miller right now. Or even just to know for sure that he was alive. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

Jackson continued to observe Abby and Kane. Kane was giving her the headlines of the last few days, since obviously Abby was hungry for any news of Clarke. And then Abby had news for them. She recounted her brief radio conversation with Clarke.

“Thank goodness!” Kane said. “So we know she’s alive.”

“Yes,” Abby breathed. “We know she’s alive and we know how many men we’ll be facing – and we have a general idea of where they are.”

“Did she mention anyone else?” Jackson asked, his pulse racing.

Abby shook her head. “We had so little time before we got cut off.” She took a breath. “We can’t assume but we can hope….” She let her voice trail off from there.

Jackson nodded, and then Abby strode up to him. She pulled him into a hug.

He knew he needed that hug, and he squeezed his eyes shut as if to prevent tears from forming. The fact that Clarke was still alive was a good sign. But as Abby said, their conversation had been brief. If there were injuries or fatalities, would Clarke have had time to mention them? Jackson remained in the hug and said, “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too!” Abby said, her voice sounding much more tender and less firm than usual. “I know I told you a hundred times on that radio,” Abby said quietly, “but med bay isn’t the same without you.”

Minutes later, Jackson was walking down the corridors at Abby’s side as they headed for med bay. “So you know what’s coming next,” Abby said straightforwardly as they walked. “Kane will tell Jaha and the elders what he found and what Clarke told me, and they’ll decide what to do next. They will take their time, as they always do. So for us – it’s a waiting game.”

Jackson nodded quietly. Kane had told him the same thing during the trek back here.

“Do you want to talk about….” Abby began, again her voice gentle instead of its often-brusque tone.

Jackson shook his head. “Let’s get to work. Fill me in on med bay. Do you have any patients now?”

He knew that he was the one who sounded terse now, but he needed to forget that he was back with the people who imprisoned him and shot Miller’s father. Needed to forget that he was separated from Miller and both their kids, with only the vaguest ideas of what was happening to Miller and Mary – and without concrete proof that they were alive, since it was fully possible that there were casualties and Clarke simply hadn’t had time to mention them. So Jackson spent the rest of the day in med bay. He ignored the sneers of James, the young Second Dawn doctor, who didn’t hide his contempt for Jackson. One of the nurses eventually brought him dinner, and even though it was the most flavorful and generous meal he’d had in years, he could scarcely finish it. Jackson spent the night in med bay too, sleeping slumped over the desk with his head resting on his forearms.

***

On day four of servitude, Bellamy was put to work chopping wood. He took lots of deep breaths. The fresh air and chirping birds almost seemed to taunt him. Here he was, living in what looked like paradise, but he and the others were little more than slaves.

Bellamy mentally ran down the list of his people.

Emotionally, Anne was faring the worst. Although growing up among the Second Dawn hadn’t been easy for her, especially not as a woman attracted to other women, the struggles she faced here were unlike any she’d dealt with before. And she was separated from the baby she’d given birth to, unable to breastfeed him which was clearly causing both physical and mental anguish. Niylah’s grounder background gave her an advantage, and she seemed to be coping best she could, providing a lot of comfort to Anne and Mary. But Anne still looked lost, and almost every time Bellamy got a glimpse of her, she was crying.

Not unlike Niylah, Emori too seemed to be enduring the situation as well as could be expected. From what Emori had shared over the years, Bellamy knew her upbringing had been rough as well. She seemed to be doing a good job keeping Murphy sane and away from trouble.

Bellamy observed that Octavia was being stoic. He sometimes saw Octavia also tilt her head up towards the sky to squint her eyes against the sunlight or enjoy a breeze – despite the fact that they were in captivity.

Bellamy guessed that Raven and Miller were also doing their best to bide their time until a way out could be found. Any time their captors needed any device repaired, they went to Raven – always while holding the controller for her shock collar tightly, almost daring her to give them an excuse to use it. Raven told Bellamy that she was pretty sure she could get their collars off – but it would take tools and at least 15 minutes per collar. And the group was never left unsupervised. Of course the problem remained that even if somehow all ten collars were off instantly, the Arkadians were still unarmed and outnumbered ten to one.

During the few spare moments Bellamy got with Monty, he’d put a hand on his shoulder or back. They couldn’t talk freely – they were never left unobserved – and thus Monty couldn’t say anything about missing Harper and Corinna, or worrying over Jasper. Bellamy did what he could to silently show that he cared.

Clarke, Bellamy knew, was coping like the leader she was. Staying focused on the right things and waiting for the right moment. She hadn’t found any other good opportunities to use the radio and was wisely keeping it concealed – and turned off – until the right time. Bellamy couldn’t think about her without his heart leaping around. How he craved to be able to hold her and run his fingers through her hair! How he wanted to kiss her! But even the slightest of touches was a luxury now. Their captors ran them ragged and kept them separated for most of the day. After each long and arduous day, Bellamy and Clarke were finally reunited at night. There wasn’t much energy left at that point for them to do anything more than collapse into each other’s arms, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard floor.

“I’ve got to find a way to treat Jasper,” Clarke had tapped out in Morse code on Bellamy’s arm the night before. “That’s a bigger priority than the radio. He doesn’t get treatment soon, he dies.”

***

**More soon! Please let me know what you think.**


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter 12**

“I found a change of clothes for you and an empty bedroom – it’s just three doors down from Marcus’s and my room. Let’s get you showered, and plan for you to have a nap today.”

Jackson had never really disobeyed Abby and didn’t plan to start today. His fitful night spent sleeping with his head slumped atop med bay’s desk left him exhausted and achy, especially as it came right after an enormously stressful few days. So Jackson found himself automatically following Abby’s direction. He showered, then changed clothing inside the room Abby secured for him, and dozed off during the mandatory religious services despite the uncomfortable wooden pew. “Breakfast now,” Abby directed next, gently taking Jackson by the hand and pointing him towards the cafeteria.

“What about you?” Jackson asked, noticing that Abby seemed ready to head in the opposite direction.

“I’m needed back at med bay,” Abby said. “Don’t worry, Marcus or one of the nurses will bring me breakfast. And no, there’s still been no word from Clarke. The elders are meeting later on today. I told you it’s a waiting game. Now go eat!”

Jackson smiled. “Just like old times on the Ark,” he remarked at Abby’s bossiness, and Abby returned his smile.

As Jackson walked towards the cafeteria, he knew he was tensing up and had butterflies in his stomach. Part of it, he told himself, was simply due to the lack of sufficient sleep during the past few days. But he knew he missed the warmth and togetherness of Arkadia and its few inhabitants. Obviously he missed his partner and children every waking moment, and the prospect of walking into the Second Dawn’s huge cafeteria where more than 700 people sat felt terrible too. He hadn’t spoken to anyone here in years, and socializing was never something he felt adept at. He made himself take a few deep breaths. ‘Just going to grab my plate, eat the food, and then go back to med bay. Abby will tell me to leave and go take a nap. I’ll just wait for word from the elders or from Clarke, and that will be my morning. Just get through breakfast and go on from there.’

Jackson got in line, filled his plate with food, and sat at the first empty seat he saw. Six or seven Skaikru sat at the table, and he thought he remembered most of their names. They greeted him kindly but then, he guessed, they either assumed he didn’t want to talk or they were just uninterested in him because none of them addressed him after that. Jackson was fine with that, rationalizing that despite his shower and clean clothing, he surely looked discombobulated and the others must have picked up on that.

He took another bite of his food and happened to look towards his left. Walking towards him was a young man, and it took Jackson’s brain a couple seconds to register that it was Bryan. As he realized that Bryan was definitely heading towards him, he fleetingly mused that he’d never really had a conversation with Bryan. Shortly after Skaikru had moved in with the Second Dawn, back when Bryan was trying to get Miller back, he’d entered med bay a few times for no apparent reason other than to perhaps unnerve the doctor. Jackson felt his pulse quickening. He reminded himself that despite what Bryan had done to them, he was a good person - or at least he had been at one point. Miller had loved him long ago.

“Could I, uh, sit here for a minute?” Bryan asked, glancing at the empty seat next to Jackson’s.

As he nodded, Jackson took in the younger man’s countenance. His voice had been quiet and hesitant. He didn’t look like he was about to attack; there was no aggression or anger in his posture, and he barely met Jackson’s eyes when he asked the question.

“I heard what happened,” Bryan began once he’d been seated. He kept his hands in his lap. “I heard you were back. I just wanted to apologize. For what I did to you and Miller.” He swallowed.

“I forgive you, Bryan,” Jackson said, his voice gentle. “Nate does too. Bellamy told us when he first got back that you said you were sorry.”

Bryan’s eyes were wide and he nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” He then asked, “Is it true that you have two kids now?”

For the first time since entering the cafeteria, Jackson smiled and relaxed. “Word travels fast,” he noted with a small shake of the head.

“Not much to talk about, you know. The religious sermons are never that fascinating,” Bryan added, and again Jackson could only smile at the sarcasm.

“It’s true; we do have two kids. Our daughter Mary is three, and Viktor’s a baby. Nate’s a great dad. Just like his own dad was.” At that, Jackson’s throat caught and he felt a physical pain. Ever since Miller and the others had been taken, he’d felt anxiety, but now a sort of sorrow set in at the thought that any of his family might no longer be alive. He looked away, not wanting Bryan to see the anguish on his face.

Perhaps, he mused, Bryan understood. The younger man changed the topic. “Is it true that this valley or whatever they’re being held in is gorgeous? Like with trees and lakes and fresh air?”

“I haven’t seen it myself,” Jackson admitted. “But yes, I think Clarke used that very word when she was able to reach Abby.”

Bryan tilted his head up. “God, I’d love to get out of this place and live somewhere like that.” He then glanced around the room. “I think most of us would.”

***

Reading through reports inside med bay, Abby nearly jumped when the radio that she kept strapped to her side beeped. She instantly grabbed it and pressed the button. “Clarke? Are you there?” she whispered.

For several moments, there was nothing but static and other distorted sounds. The nurses exchanged glances and watched Abby as she clutched the radio, looking as if she wanted to will it to work.

And then at last, a clear voice came through. “Come in. It’s Harper.”

“Harper??” Abby asked. Her heart sank when she realized that it wasn’t Clarke, but she adjusted quickly. The two women took several moments to update each other. Since Abby no longer had to keep this radio a secret - and since Jaha had finished the second one which could take a call from Clarke if one came in now – they had all the time they needed.

Abby shared with Harper all the information she had. Harper didn’t have much to update Abby on, though of course Jackson would be glad to know that she and the two babies were safe.

“I’ll let you know as soon as the elders have made a decision,” Abby said in closing. “Let’s check in every few hours. Stay positive, Harper. We’ll figure something out.” Abby took a breath. “And good for you for making a radio!”

“I can’t wait to tell Monty and Raven when I see them again,” Harper said. “Raven will be glad to know that Emori wasn’t the only one who paid attention in engineering class!”

***

On day five of servitude, Clarke finally found another chance to use the radio. She was preparing lunch alongside Murphy and Raven. One of their guards slumped on her chair, dozing. Raven nodded at Clarke and walked up to the other guard. They both knew that he was one of the chattier, friendly ones. When he saw Raven approaching, instead of reprimanding her, he began to thank her for fixing his music player. He looked at Raven as if he’d never seen a beautiful woman before.

Clarke stepped just outside of his visual range, though she smirked at the thought that the guard hardly seemed to notice her. Murphy tried to position himself between the guard and Clarke.

“It’s Clarke. Can you hear me? Whisper back,” Clarke spoke into the radio.

Abby’s reply was almost instant; she clearly understood the urgency. Mother and daughter both knew that they probably only had seconds. “I’m here.”

“No change in our situation. Jasper’s wounded, probably has sepsis, and needs urgent medical attention. The rest of us are okay.”

“Jackson is here, and Kane’s with the elders deciding what to do. We may be able to send a rescue team but I don’t know. Based on the recon mission and what you said earlier, we think we have a decent idea where you are.”

“We still have our shock collars on. Still estimate 100 soldiers, all armed.”

“Clarke,” Abby said firmly. “Tell me more about the valley. We might need it to motivate people here to fight for you.”

“The valley is beautiful. Fresh air, trees, bushes, clean water, lots of food - hunting and fishing and farming. As if Praimfaya never happened. Could probably hold….300 people comfortably, maybe 400.”

“Good. Clarke, can we negotiate with the people who captured you? What do they want?”

“Slave labor. They’re lazy and they need people to do the work to feed and shelter and clean up after their men. Don’t know if they can be negotiated with. Their leader is a man named McCreary. He keeps a tight leash on us. I know he’s about to become a father – I was hoping that meant he had a soft spot, but I don’t see it. Don’t think he really wants anything other than slave labor right now.” If Clarke had more time, she would’ve added words to the effect that once the Eligius people found out that Monty could make booze, they had him working nearly full-time on that endeavor. But despite their captors’ love for alcohol, they still kept the Arkadians carefully guarded. McCreary rationed the alcohol carefully, ensuring enough sober people to watch the Arkadians.

Clarke heard footsteps. “Someone’s coming!” she said, and swiftly put the radio back in its hiding place.

Clarke was not a second too soon, as McCreary strode through the dining area and back towards where Clarke stood, in the section where food was prepared and cooked. Clarke was surprised that he hadn’t reprimanded one guard for sleeping or the other for talking to Raven – in fact, McCreary clearly looked as if he were on a mission.

“Congratulations, Clarke!” McCreary grinned. “You’ve been promoted to Chief Medical Officer. Our doctor OD-ed last night – for the last time. One of your people’s cleaning up his mess right now.”

“I need to treat Jasper,” Clarke stated, meeting McCreary’s eyes. She was glad that one of her people was finally needed for something other than manual labor. There had to be a way to use this for leverage.

“Yeah, well,” McCreary began, shifting his eyes, “my people need treatment. We had some sort of lung problem from the mining we used to do. The dead doc treated us for it, but some of us are having symptoms again. Whatever he did didn’t take on all of us. Two of my guys are waiting in med bay for you. So go!”

Clarke didn’t want to waste another second, and she nearly sprinted to med bay, hoping that McCreary wasn’t behind her. She had to get to Jasper, and had to find a way to treat him first.

Clarke threw open the door of the building that was used as their medical center. Like last time she was in here, it reeked of drugs and alcohol, but this time another more menacing smell was in the air. Clarke knew what the smell was, but she didn’t want to register it. She wanted to push it away. Two of McCreary’s people stood around, one coughing loudly. “Thank god you’re here, doc,” one of them gasped.

Within the span of a couple seconds, Clarke took in the scene and the two men – and then she spotted something out of the corner of her eye, something her mind subconsciously resisted. It was the spot where Jasper had lain last time Clarke was there.

Only this time, a sheet was pulled over him.

“No,” Clarke breathed as chills overtook her. She went up to Jasper and reached for his cold wrist to feel for a pulse. A pulse that was not there. She pulled the sheet down with her other hand, hoping fervently that it was the doctor and not Jasper. But her mind registered what her heart had already picked up. It was Jasper and, indeed, there was no pulse.

Usually when Clarke had witnessed death in the past, it had been brutal and violent and in her face. Lexa getting shot. Clarke herself having to stab Finn, being close enough to smell his sweat and despair. But this…Jasper’s dead body simply stretched out on this bed under this sheet. It was somehow banal and subtle and yet utterly horrific.

“I will never forgive myself,” Clarke whispered, as she sank to the floor. “I should have pushed harder. I should have fought harder.” Her head swam and her eyes lost focus. Dimly she was aware that one of McCreary’s men was now by her side and saying something to her but the words weren’t getting through. Jasper was really and truly dead. One of the 100. A soul who had lost part of himself in Mount Weather and had never really recovered. Clarke knew that these last few years of peace had helped him a bit and she’d seen him smile a few times, seen him look almost happy when he’d held Corinna. And now he was gone. A pointless, senseless loss that Clarke might’ve been able to prevent if she’d been given the chance.

If she had fought harder, been more creative, found a way.

Clarke didn’t know how much time had passed, but she sensed it had been a bit because all of a sudden Bellamy was there. He was squatting next to her, holding her in his arms. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he was whispering, as he clutched her tightly. “There was nothing you could have done.”

“See!” McCreary was saying. Somehow he was standing there and his mouth was moving. “I brought you your husband. I’m such a good guy. Now get up, doctor lady, pull yourself together, and help my goddamned men!”

Holding onto Bellamy, Clarke slowly rose to her feet. Grasping him reminded her of a certain strength that resided within, and she knew she needed every ounce of it now.

“I want our collars off,” Clarke started, meeting McCreary’s eyes.

“No. It’s like I told you on day one. If you want food and water, you work for us,” McCreary stated. He then smiled again, making Clarke wish she could punch him. “I didn’t bring your husband here just so he could comfort you, although it is truly touching to watch,” he snickered, placing a hand over his heart. “You get to work on my men right now or I turn Bellamy’s collar on.”

Clarke met Bellamy’s eyes. His look, his faith in her, his confidence - she felt it all infuse through her body. She was calm now and knew she could do this. She could brush aside Jasper’s death and do what needed to be done now. She nodded at McCreary.

“Don’t do that,” Clarke said to McCreary. “I will help your men.”

***

Jackson’s morning had, indeed, gone much like he’d thought it would. Following Abby’s orders, he’d gone to the room she found for him and lay down, trying to nap. He kept glancing at the door, hoping that Abby would walk in any minute now with news. Just as he finally felt the fatigue taking over and his mind drifting off to sleep, Abby knocked on the door and entered.

“Is there news?” Jackson asked, instantly bolting upright. Although med bay inside Arkadia II had gone almost completely unused during the past few years, Jackson had never lost his healer’s instinct to instantly become alert and ready when needed.

“Yes,” Abby said. “Not much though.”

She replayed her conversation with Clarke.

Jackson listened and exhaled, and then immediately felt shame. He’d been so relieved at hearing that “the rest of us are ok” that he’d almost disregarded what Clarke had said about Jasper. Sepsis was serious, and Clarke knew her stuff. Yet Jackson was mostly relieved that Miller and Mary were alive. He nearly hung his head in shame. He also reminded himself that their situation could change at any time.

Abby filled in Jackson about her conversation with Harper as well. Jackson was relieved that Harper and the babies were well, and thrilled that they had a way to communicate with her. “Next time she calls, please thank her for me. For taking care of Viktor.”

Abby nodded. “We plan to talk every few hours.” She then added, “I don’t know when the elders will reach a decision about what to do. But it’s almost lunch time and they’ll break for lunch.” She shook her head. “They never miss a meal.”

Jackson joined Abby in bemusement over her last comment. He needed something to take his mind of his guilt over not being worried enough for Jasper.

“Do you need me in med bay?” he asked.

“No. We don’t have any patients right now, and Elizabeth’s on call. Come on,” she said, tilting her head towards the door. “Let’s take a walk, head for the rec room. We can catch up much easier in person than we ever could over that radio. And we really have nothing to do but wait now.”

Jackson couldn’t resist smiling at Abby’s invitation. “It’s so nice to be back with you,” he said, as he pulled his boots on.

“I missed you too, Jackson.”

Jackson’s heart warmed at her comment. Part of him knew that Abby had, indeed, missed him but it just felt good to hear her say it. He understood that he’d spend the rest of his life craving her approval just as he had since the day his mother had died.

As they walked towards the rec room, Jackson decided to commit himself to taking his mind of the myriad things to worry and agonize over. “So tell me how people are doing,” Jackson said. “How’s Jaha? I can’t believe he married a Second Dawn woman,” he added quietly, ensuring no one in the corridors would overhear that comment.

“I couldn’t believe it either, but they seem happy enough,” Abby shrugged.

“What do they even talk about?”

“They both like classic literature. I’ve heard them discuss it at dinner,” Abby offered.

Jackson was silent for a moment and then a smile curled his lips. “I think I’d rather have a few teeth pulled out than sit around discussing ‘Moby Dick’ with Jaha.”

Abby burst out laughing, “Now Eric, that sounds like something Miller would say and not you!”

He returned her laughter, allowing himself to feel amusement and not pain at the mention of his partner. He knew that being with Miller had, indeed, changed him and helped him to lighten up over the years. He longed for the day when he could tell him that.

***

“Afternoon tea break! Thank goodness.”

The elder Stephen spoke the words that afternoon as someone entered the elders’ meeting room with the daily tea cart. The pouring of drinks and clinking of mugs was heard throughout the room as each man was served his tea. Kane appreciated the break as he reflected on the meeting’s progress.

The group had been talking in circles. Kane mused that the elders were often simply bored, and thus something like this was a feast for them – they had a problem to mull over and discuss ad nauseam. As Kane had done so many times over the years, he marveled at how different life was down here where time stretched out almost infinitely and there was rarely any urgency needed when making decisions. He often had to remind himself that he’d lived here for less than five years because part of him felt that if he’d had to guess, he would have estimated it had been more than eight or nine years. As frustrating as dealing with the elders could be, Kane also reminded himself how lucky he was to have all these years of peace with Abby by his side.

He brought his thoughts back around to the meeting. The elders had plenty of reasons for not wanting to take action, and Kane understood them. There was the risk of casualties. There was the drain on supplies that would be required to send enough armed people out to take down 100 invaders – especially considering that the invaders could breathe the air effortlessly while their people would need hazmat suits or drugs. Mounting an attack would drain the Second Dawn’s armory, med bay, and supply rooms. There was also the fact that the invaders had 10 hostages, each with a shock collar, one of whom was a child. Any conflict could result in most or all of the hostages being killed.

But the arguments that Kane and Jaha had been making all day were potent too. These invaders might someday attack the Second Dawn bunker. Perhaps one of their hostages might someday slip and reveal the existence of this bunker. Surely the invaders would love to have more slaves. And most crucially, Kane had made the point that they could surely overpower the invaders. The Second Dawn had a couple hundred well-trained guards. Many members of Skaikru had trained for battle in the past and could easily do so again – Kane estimated that he could get 200 of them ready quickly. “We would outnumber them four to one,” Kane had said.

But Andrew Cadogan had shook his head and said, “There’d still be casualties on our side, and not just a few. We’d suffer a lot of losses – and for what reason? To free ten people who **chose** to leave here?”

“Not just to free them,” Kane had retorted strongly. “But to prevent this bunker from being taken.”

During their break for lunch, Kane had sat with Abby and Jackson. And now with the elders drinking their afternoon tea, an idea popped into Kane’s mind as he replayed his lunchtime conversations.

“Okay, let’s get back to the matter at hand,” John Cadogan said, setting his tea mug down and calling the group to order. “We don’t have to make a decision today but it would be good to put the matter to bed.”

“Too many casualties,” the elder Donald said, waving a hand in the air. “No point in risking so many casualties and draining our supplies when these invaders don’t even know that we’re here. Just to be safe, we could double the guard stationed by the entrance. Problem solved.”

As Kane saw several elders nodding at Donald’s dismissive words, he spoke up. A skill he’d never lost was the ability to command a room with his voice, his tone, and his words. “There is one thing we haven’t discussed yet,” Kane began. “The valley – the place where our people are being held. The valley is beautiful, with sparkling water, purple flowers, open fields, fresh air. They have a farm going, and there’s plenty of hunting and fishing available too. With a simple injection, each of us can live and breathe freely in it. Imagine being able to greet to sun each morning and feel a breeze on your face. Imagine being able to look at up night and see the soon and the stars.”

Kane knew that what he’d said about the injections wasn’t fully accurate – he didn’t know yet how to replicate what had been done to the Arkadians. But he was certain that with the right equipment and time, Abby and the others could figure it out.

In any case, Kane knew his words were compelling. He remembered that at lunchtime, Jackson had said that Bryan told him that he wanted to see the valley. Abby had heard others discussing it too, both Skaikru and Second Dawn. There had even been a resurgence of people painting nature scenes in the rec room. The thought that a pristine, livable valley existed just 150 miles from here was spreading like wildfire.

“I have had a lot of people ask me about it,” the elder Henry said, looking at Cadogan.

“Me too,” the elder Thomas added. “Young people who want to breathe fresh air. And older people who want to stand in the scenes that we only have in paintings right now. Before we couldn’t do it,” he added, his voice taking on a passionate tone. “The land was overrun with grounders, and then the death wave happened. The grounders are gone now, and only 100 armed men stand in our way. All we need is an injection to be able to live and breathe in it in this valley….our people want it.”

“I want my children and grandchildren to see it,” Henry said firmly. “Even if it means a few casualties – even if I am one of them – I’d like to leave this legacy for my children and grandchildren. Wouldn’t you, John?”

Kane looked at John Cadogan and suspected that he had him. Cadogan was quiet for a few moments and then tilted his head. “We could pretty easily overtake 100 men. Especially with Skaikru fighting alongside our guard, and with Kane acting as general.” Cadogan nodded and added, “That would remove the threat that these invaders pose – and give us access to whatever supplies they have with them.”

Andrew smirked. “We’ll finally see some of those Skaikru women using guns and fighting in battle. I’ll join the fight too, just so I can die laughing at watching girls trying to hold guns!”

Kane expected to see the usual chuckles and sneers whenever a sexist comment like that one was made. And they were there, yes, but fewer in quantity than he’d expected. And then his jaw nearly dropped at the next comment.

Henry spoke up and said quietly but firmly, “I have granddaughters in addition to grandsons. Maybe the valley is something that they all deserve to experience.” His voice was sincere.

Hours later, Kane was at the center of detailed plans and preparations, ones that would take some time. Although he was completely focused, he did do some silent speculation as well. The Second Dawn woman Jaha had married was a relative of both Henry and Thomas. And of course Jaha wasn’t the only Skaikru person in such a marriage. Could these marriages have caused ripple effects and changed a few attitudes? He didn’t know, but he did know that today’s discussions had gone far better than he’d hoped and had ended with the right decision.

***

That evening, Clarke and Bellamy were escorted back to the cabin where their group spent its nights on the floor. As happened every evening, two guards stood over them while each was given a decent portion of food to eat before bed.

Bellamy saw that Monty was slumped against a wall, Octavia sitting next to him with an arm around him. His food was untouched. Bellamy knew that word about Jasper had somehow gotten to Monty – the look on Monty’s face left no doubt. He knew he’d never see or speak to his best friend again.

Bellamy was glad that Octavia sat with Monty. Although Monty had always been closest to Harper and Jasper, he had a bond with Octavia too. Bellamy recalled his sister once saying how she’d always liked Monty. They’d worked together for years on Arkadia II’s farms. “Come on,” Octavia said quietly, awkwardly reaching for Monty’s plate. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

Bellamy sat across from Clarke and silently pleaded with her to eat as well. She slowly reached for her spoon. Their day in medical had been busy as well. Frustrated at the deceased doctor’s lack of notes, Clarke had had to piece together what had been wrong with McCreary’s people, and what sort of treatments and medications they’d been given. Neither McCreary nor either of the sick men had had too many specifics to offer Clarke. She’d improvised best she could.

“We’ll get through this,” Bellamy whispered to Clarke.

“How many times do we have to tell you? Stop talking!” one of the guards yelled.

“Yeah,” the other one said. “It’s been days since we used one of your shock collars. Next person who talks gets the collar. We should test ‘em anyway, make sure they’re still working.”

The sun set rapidly, and the group began to stretch out as usual on the hard floor. Bellamy and Clarke found that although it was nearly impossible to get comfortable this way, they seemed to have best luck with Bellamy laying on his back - with his jacket bunched up underneath to support his head - and Clarke using his chest as a pillow. He could feel her exhaustion as she slumped against him. He gently stroked her hair and their breathing eventually fell into its usual rhythm. He was so tired that he knew sleep would overcome him soon. Murphy was already snoring. Mary was quietly crying while Niylah tried to comfort her, and Bellamy mused that it seemed almost better when the girl cried, as her silences were disturbing.

There had to be a way out of this. Bellamy latched onto one bright spot. McCreary had sneered that Clarke was now “chief medical officer” and it was clear that he needed her. Clarke would find a way to turn that to their advantage.

Or was that just a pipe dream? As long as they were bound by these shock collars, Bellamy knew, getting any sort of leverage over the Eligius people seemed impossible.

***

“He warned that it will take some time – this is a massive undertaking. But the elders said yes.”

Abby and Jackson stood inside Abby’s room, speaking with Harper over the radio. Harper cheered at the news that the elders had approved a mission to liberate the valley.

“Thank you again for taking care of Viktor, Harper,” Jackson said, once she’d been updated on all the details. “How are you?”

“Oh I’m great now, thanks to your good news,” Harper said, her smile coming through across the radio waves. She then switched to a sassier tone as she added, “Spending all day eating, walking around the bunker, changing diapers, washing diapers, changing diapers again, and feeding these two. **Constantly** feeding these two. Is this how cows in ancient history felt?” As if on cue, Viktor woke up from his nap and could be heard crying in the background. Harper added, in a serious tone now, “I wish I could do something to help the rescue though. I hate being stuck here while Kane gets troops ready.”

“I know,” Abby said. “But you are the whole world to Corinna and Viktor.” She paused, “And as for me and Jackson, **we** have a new mission now. Rallying as many Skaikru as we can to want to see the valley – and be part of the rescue mission.”

Jackson replayed Abby’s words as the conversation with Harper wound down. “The elders were right about one thing,” he said to Abby a few minutes after they’d hung up with Harper. “There will be casualties. Is it right for us to be rallying people to go into a battle that they might lose their lives in?”

Abby took a breath and put a hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “I don’t know the right answer, Jackson. I know that I can’t stand the thought of Clarke being kept in slavery anymore than you can stomach the idea of Miller – and your daughter – being forced to live that way. Clarke said their captors can’t be negotiated with and don’t seem to need anything – other than slave labor. We don’t have a lot of options other than battle.”

Jackson nodded, so Abby continued. “But we have to make Skaikru **want** to fight, and most won’t do that because they want to save Clarke and the others. But the prospect of living in that valley….that might get them to fight. We have to convince them.”

Jackson took a breath. “I don’t think I’m all that….eloquent. Sometimes,” he admitted, glancing downwards and then back to meet Abby’s eyes, “I feel that people only listen to me when they need a doctor. You and Kane are the leaders, the ones people listen to.”

“Screw that,” Abby said flatly. “Get out there and try. Influence people. You said that Bryan asked about the valley. Start with him, and see who else you can get him to talk to.”

Jackson smiled and shook his head. “I missed this, Abby. Miller never bosses me around the way you do!”

She laughed and squeezed his arm.

***

Jackson and Abby indeed had their work cut out for them over the next couple of days. Kane’s battle plans and his supply requirements both relied on getting a firm count of those who would be joining the fight. The Second Dawn people were the easy part – once the elders had decided that they wanted to defeat the invaders, it was simply a matter of deciding how many Second Dawn guardsmen were ready for combat. Skaikru was another matter, as Abby had foreseen. They needed to be convinced to fight, needed to want to join the effort. They would also need some training since, during the years living with the Second Dawn, no Skaikru had been working as guards or doing any sort of formal combat training.

John Cadogan had many conversations with Kane during the next few days as they went over preparations. “What will do about the shock collars?” Cadogan asked. “If they threaten to shock – or kill – your people won’t that put a wrench in the battle plans?”

“Recon is going to be a big part of our strategy,” Kane answered. “As is stealth. We’ll send scouts in. We’ll find a way to either get the collars off or get our people to safety before the invaders realize what’s happening.”

“Good. Whatever you do, win this fight. We don’t want our people ending up as slaves as of these invaders.”

“Don’t worry,” Kane insisted. “We’ll win.”

***

It was now day seven of servitude and Miller felt himself breaking down a bit.

He realized he was losing it as the afternoon dragged on and he continued the repetitive task he’d been assigned: pulling weeds in the vast fields. Now that Monty was assigned full-time to the production of alcohol, the Eligius people tended to put Miller on farm labor. Something about the endless monotony of this job both lulled Miller’s mind and made it feel like it was on fire.

He was tired of his brain’s silent back-and-forth debate with itself. One part of his mind constantly bemoaned being separated from Jackson, not being able to hold Viktor, missing the baby’s milestones. The other part of his mind snapped back that he should be glad – glad Jackson was safe inside the Second Dawn bunker, glad that Viktor was safe with Harper in Arkadia II, and that he needed to stop missing them and just be grateful. Then his brain silently taunted him back with worries over Mary and Anne and Niylah. Then it reminded him that Jasper was dead, and Monty right now looked as horrible as Jasper had after Mount Weather. Then Miller’s thoughts hopped on a train telling him that he’d spend the rest of his life as a slave to the Eligius people, would never see Jackson or Viktor again and would watch his daughter spend her childhood – and her entire life – as a slave.

“Come on. Get back to work. We’ve all had shitty lives. You want to hear my story?”

An Eligius man loomed over Miller, looking down at where Miller knelt to do his weeding. Miller looked up at the man and blinked mutely, his mouth open but no words coming to mind.

“Dude, get it together,” the Eligius man continued. “If you don’t get back to work I’ll have to shock you. And you’re pretty cute. I don’t want to do that.”

Miller’s brain seemed to snap back into gear. The incongruity of one of his captors doing some low-key flirting amidst these horrible circumstances felt like the mild jolt he needed. “Sorry,” Miller said. “Getting back to work right now.” He reached for the next weed and carefully yanked it from the roots.

“Good,” the man said, still smiling. “I meant it though. You are cute.”

As Miller applied himself to pulling weeds, the man continued talking. “Is the kid yours? She’s adorable. She’s also got two moms though, right?”

“Yeah,” Miller said, his head down as he worked. A silent rule the Arkadians all abided by was to never mention any of their other people, so Miller reminded himself to be careful. Giving any potentially useful information to their captors was a bad idea. “I always wanted a kid, and so did Niylah and Anne so….”

“She doesn’t look like you though,” the man said, his tone quizzical. “She looks…interesting. Like more Asian or Indian than Black.”

Miller tried to keep his mind focused. He’d fared no better in History or Social Studies than any other classes but he vaguely remembered the terms the man was using. He had to remind himself that this man had spent more than a century in cryosleep and that society had been different when he’d left. “Well, I dunno,” Miller said, gripping a particularly tenuous weed. “I’m not a goddamn geneticist,” he forced out a laugh as he tried to deflect the line of questioning. “Maybe Niylah or me has an Asian ancestor. But enough about me. What’s your name?”

“Humphreys. We use our last names. I guess you do too, since I don’t think Miller’s your first name.” He paused, and crouched down beside Miller. He leaned towards him and said quietly, “Gets lonely here. Maybe you can keep me company sometime. I got food and booze inside my room. Or we could go out here some night – the cornstalks are high. We could have a good time.”

At that, the second guard – who stood far away - seemed to finally notice that their conversation was going on too long and likely was not about farm work. He strode up to them and called out, “Humphreys! Stop talking with the slaves! Sheesh. You keep it up and McCreary will put you to work alongside them.”

Miller breathed a sigh of relief as Humphreys got up and moved on. Forming a friendship with one of their captors could be beneficial, Miller knew, but he also questioned whether any payoff would be worth it.

***

As Miller resumed his weeding, McCreary strode up to Clarke. She was stationed inside the medical room, listening to one of the miner’s breathing through a stethoscope.

“Got plans for you today, doc,” McCreary said without preamble. “We’re gonna go inside the ship. Someone needs a – what is it called? – prenatal visit. Gotta make sure my kid is born healthy.” He paused and grinned. “You’re gonna meet the devil herself. Charmaine Diyoza.”

**TBC**

**Just a couple chapters left to go!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

_A/N - I can't believe we're almost done! One more chapter plus epilogue after this. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this long fic, and thank you again to Penguin of Prose for beta testing._

* * *

  
**Chapter Thirteen**

With two guards at her heels, Clarke followed McCreary as they marched towards the Eligius ship. “So this is a prenatal visit?” Clarke asked, hoping to get McCreary to spill some information. “I assume the ship has a med bay as well. I’d like to check it out – see if the other doctor left some notes or something that could help me treat your people’s lung problems.”

McCreary scoffed. “Doc was too busy snorting or injecting every drug he could get his hands on, and I don’t think those hands ever stopped shaking long enough for him to write notes. Focus on making sure my baby’s okay,” he ordered, without looking at Clarke.

“So we’re going to see….what did you say her name was? Diyoza? Is she your…wife? Girlfriend?”

“Do you ever stop asking questions?” McCreary asked. He then turned to look at her and, in a tone that mocked Clarke’s voice, asked, “Will you ever stop running your mouth? Do I need to use the shock collar on your husband? Or should I just stuff a gag in your mouth?”

They reached the ship’s entrance, and McCreary pressed a few buttons on a device he held to open a ramp. When it touched ground, he pushed Clarke forward and ordered, “Move.”

From having seen the outside of the Eligius, Clarke knew it was huge. She tried to get her bearings and make mental notes as they walked through the ship. Despite its age, the Eligius looked to be in good condition – certainly far better than the Ark had been. It wasn’t terribly clean though; as they walked down corridors Clarke could spot stray bits of garbage and various stains.

McCreary’s communicator beeped and he spoke into it for a bit. Then, looking at the two guards, he ordered, “Don’t let her out of your sight. I’m needed back at the valley.”

Clarke blinked as she watched McCreary walk away. Had Bellamy, she wondered, created some sort of diversion? Perhaps he – or others – had seen their small group walking in the direction of the ship and taken action. In any case, being free – for now – of McCreary was a good thing and Clarke turned over ideas inside her mind. She was still bound by the shock collar though, and both guards were armed. Although she’d spent the last seven days trying to learn everything she could about their captors, most of them didn’t talk much and she didn’t know anything about these two particular guards.

“This way,” the male guard said. “We’re almost at her cell.”

The three walked down another hallway, and the guards brought Clarke to a cell. They pressed a few buttons, and an opaque door slid aside so they could see into the cell. The prisoner was still behind a clear door, but Clarke could see her now.

Charmaine Diyoza was tall with light skin and brown, disheveled hair. Clarke spotted a scar on her neck. Although her condition was hard to discern under the baggy jumpsuit she wore, Clarke guessed that Diyoza was at least seven months pregnant. She thought Diyoza appeared to be in her early forties. She got to her feet as soon as she could see Clarke and the others, and she met Clarke’s gaze steadily.

Clarke expected Diyoza to open her mouth first, but instead the male guard turned to the female guard. “Okay,” he said, swinging his arms and grinning. “Our deal still on?”

“Yep,” the female guard answered him, a look somewhere between resignation and disgust on her face. And with that, the two guards turned and left, leaving Clarke alone with Diyoza.

“Uh, what just happened?” Clarke asked Diyoza.

“She’s loyal to me,” Diyoza said. “McCreary killed my people but a few of them were stealth – and some of them have since realized that McCreary’s an idiot and they should follow me instead. She’s bribing the other guard so that we can talk. Her name’s Achebe and you can trust her. She and I communicate frequently. So,” she said, crossing her arms, “I think we can help each other.”

“What do you know about me?” Clarke asked, making sure to meet Diyoza’s steady gaze and ensuring she did not appear too eager.

“Just the basics. You and nine others are McCreary’s slaves and he’s collared each of you. He’s the laziest shit on earth,” she shook her head. “Someday when we have more time, I want to hear everything that happened. Like why the planet’s a nuclear wasteland – other than this valley - and how your people survived it, and if there are any others. But we don’t have a lot of time now.” She added, intently, “McCreary’s going to kill me as soon as the baby’s born. I can’t let that happen.”

Clarke did not correct Diyoza’s number. With Jasper having died, there were now a total of nine hostages, not ten. Clarke felt another stab at her guts.

“How far along are you?” Clarke asked.

“Twenty-nine weeks. Not counting the time we spent in cryo,” she added, with a snort.

“Well,” Clarke said, “maybe we can find a way to help each other. If our collars were off, we could overtake McCreary’s people. And guarantee that in exchange for helping us, you’d live. You and your baby.”

“How can you be so confident that you could overtake them? You’re outnumbered ten to one. There aren’t **that** many who are loyal to me.”

“We have our surprises,” Clarke said, not wanting to say anything about the people living inside the bunker. She didn’t even know if they would agree to – or be allowed to – help, but she was putting her faith in Abby and Kane to find a way to make that happen.

“ _Your surprises_?” Diyoza echoed. “Hmmm. From what I hear, they didn’t do a very thorough search of your bunker. So maybe you have more people there?” She shook her head. “But if there were a lot more, they’d have come after you by now.” She tilted her head. “Maybe they’re working on some sort of weapon. Or maybe you have more people elsewhere?”

Damn, Diyoza was good, Clarke silently admitted. Being under the thumb of an idiot like McCreary might have made Clarke accustomed to underestimating her opponents, she mused. She tried to turn the conversation. “Are we helping each other or not?”

Diyoza provided Clarke with what she needed. Clarke then had time to whip out her radio and update her mother. Shortly afterwards, the two guards returned and said that McCreary was on his way as well, just a minute or two away.

“Hey,” Clarke asked before turning to leave, “just curious. What happened to the pilot of this ship? I haven’t heard anything about McCreary having one. But the ship must’ve landed somehow.”

“Miles Shaw,” Diyoza said flatly. “A good guy. McCreary had him killed as soon as he landed the ship.”

***

Jackson was in med bay with Abby when Clarke called. He listened intently but quietly to their conversation. Clarke had one terrible piece of news to deliver – that Jasper, as expected, hadn’t made it – but mostly good news.

“I need to get this to Kane right away!” Abby said, her eyes shining. “Now Clarke has a plan and an ally. This will help Kane immensely as he gets the guards ready for the battle.”

Jackson watched her go. He hoped this Diyoza person could be trusted. He again let the guilt wash over him, knowing that he was sad at the news of Jasper’s death while being relieved that Clarke had said “everyone else is still ok.” He allowed himself to feel and process that for a minute before picking up the radio and updating Harper. He knew she’d want to know the latest, though he didn’t relish being the one to tell her about Jasper.

As the next day and a half went by, Jackson was reminded of his days back inside the original Arkadia. Just like back then, he learned a lot of happenings through osmosis, given Abby’s connection to Kane and Jaha. He learned that Kane and the elders felt that the Second Dawn guards were ready for battle, and that the supplies they needed had mostly been gathered. He learned that just over 200 Skaikru volunteered to join the fight as well. They were being trained by Kane himself and a few of his most-trusted guards; they needed the training since all of Skaikru was rusty on the handling of firearms and combat maneuvers. He also learned that most of the Second Dawn people who weren’t in the guard were spending much of each day in the great hall, praying for a victorious battle, praying for the invaders to be successfully repulsed for good. Although Jackson had never been a religious man – not before life with the Second Dawn and not since – he joined them once or twice for prayers.

“It’s funny the bargains you make,” he found himself saying at breakfast the next morning. Somehow Bryan had ended up sitting next to him, and Jackson hadn’t found the situation at all awkward. They had been talking about praying and that morning’s services. “I silently promised a higher power that if Nate and Mary are spared, that I would do this and that and the other thing.”

“What on earth did you promise?” Bryan asked, his eyes narrowing. “You’re already a healer who saves lives! Did you promise to be an even better person?”

Jackson smiled at Bryan’s sarcasm. “More or less, I guess. Hell, I’d walk to this bunker and sit through services every day of the rest of my life if it meant Nate and the kids get out of this alive.” He took a sip of his tea and then met Bryan’s eyes. “Thank you. For volunteering to fight, and for getting a lot of other people to do the same.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Bryan said with a small shrug. “I’m doing it for selfish reasons. I was raised to be a farmer. I want to live in that valley and someday do some actual farming,” he said, passion in his voice. “Maybe get a cabin by a lake, raise chickens. Be able to see the sun. Of course I’d rather do it with a man by my side.” He took a spoonful of oatmeal and shook his head. “That last one will be tricky. I don’t fit with anyone here and….well, we’re the last of the human race, so I’m probably out of luck on the boyfriend front.”

A thought popped into Jackson’s mind. “There’s the crew of the Eligius. They can’t all be bad, and Clarke said they don’t all support that McCreary guy. Maybe one of them….”

“Yeah, well first I have to survive the battle,” Bryan said, his tone switching from wistful to forceful. “Kane’s been clear that there will be casualties. We outnumber them, but no way is everyone getting out of this alive.”

“Abby and I and all the rest of the med bay staff will follow the frontline as closely as we can,” Jackson said, matching Bryan’s seriousness. “We’ll do everything we can to patch everyone up.” As Jackson spoke the words, he felt fear grip his innards. Bryan was right. There would be casualties, and soldiers like Bryan were right to be afraid. Jackson suddenly had no more appetite for his breakfast.

***

It had been a good day for Clarke. What Diyoza provided her would help tilt the scales of the battle, and she’d had time to give Abby the details. Although part of Clarke’s brain knew not to press her luck, she decided to do just that. She approached Achebe, the female guard who’d been with her on the ship, the one Diyoza said to trust.

“Small favor?” Clarke whispered, approaching Achebe. “I know you got no reason to give me a favor, but remember that when we win, we’re guaranteeing your safety. You’ll live here, free, in the valley.” She paused. “The folks who stay loyal to McCreary are going to end up in prison cells on the ship - if they’re lucky.”

Achebe agreed to Clarke’s request. When the sun had set and half of the Eligius crew were drunk, the Arkadians were ushered into the same cottage as usual and brought their dinner. This time, however, the portions were far larger than they had been before. When the second guard stepped outside to relieve himself, Achebe made eye contact with Clarke. She placed a key on the table in the corner, and said only, “The last cottage, the one closest to the cornfields. Two rooms. Its occupants are passed out drunk by the bonfire now so they won’t return anytime soon.” She added, “Just remember how much you owe me when you win the battle.”

“We will.”

Clarke then explained the situation to the others. Niylah and Anne decided to remain with their daughter who was currently sleeping atop Anne’s torso, but Murphy and Emori quickly abandoned their ample dinner and forgot about their fatigue. They followed Clarke and Bellamy.

Stepping out into the cool night, Clarke glanced around. Indeed most of the Eligius people were by the bonfire, quite a distance away. Their second guard just shrugged when he saw the two couples departing. They passed only a few others who were staggering, drunk.

“I don’t wanna get overconfident,” Bellamy whispered. “But if they continue like this…” he let his voice trail off, and Clarke nodded though she knew it would be hard for Bellamy to see it. An army of well-trained Skaikru and Second Dawn could easily overtake these people.

They reached the cottage and Clarke unlocked the door. It was as Achebe said. Two rooms, each appointed with a bed, each smelling faintly of tobacco. Wordlessly each couple selected a room, and once their door was closed, Clarke took a breath and pulled Bellamy into a hug.

They clung to each other for several long moments. It just felt so good, Clarke knew, feeling Bellamy’s warmth and his strong arms around her. Just having some time together without guards hovering over them. She didn’t want the hug to end. “Damn, you feel good,” she whispered. She squeezed him closer and inhaled his scent.

“You do too,” he whispered back as he stroked her hair. He then chuckled, “I guess we don’t have to whisper though. They sure aren’t being quiet.”

Indeed Murphy and Emori could already be heard, despite the closed doors between them.

“Well, at least we don’t have to see it,” Clarke muttered, and Bellamy chuckled. She added, “Can’t blame them. We haven’t had a proper kiss in ages.” Between their sheer exhaustion at the end of each day and their lack of privacy, it hadn’t felt right to Clarke to want to passionately kiss Bellamy. But today given the arrangements she’d made with Diyoza and now this sliver of privacy, her exhaustion had given way to a feeling of being energized and excited.

“We can fix that,” Bellamy murmured. Their lips met. Clarke loved the feel of his mouth on hers, his tongue touching hers. She ran her hands along the back of his neck, his shoulders. For once she forgot about the collar around her neck.

“I love you, Clarke,” he murmured as he moved his lips to kiss her forehead, the side of her face, her ear.

“I love you too.” It was a whole new kind of joy and freedom to be able to forget, just for these moments, the situation they were in. Touching and kissing Bellamy, Clarke felt transported to a new place.

“Bellamy,” she breathed, after several long moments which left her feeling somehow both delighted and yet aching for more. “Are we going to…..?”

“This isn’t the best setting. But it’s not like we have too many choices,” Bellamy said, smiling. In the dim light, Clarke could see the open desire in his eyes. Even from the slight tremble in his voice, she knew how badly he desired her. “I mean, assuming you want to…”

“Oh, I want to,” Clarke enthused. She added, “The cornfields would’ve been better. But let’s take this moment while we got it.” She began to remove her jacket and top. She wanted Bellamy, and she wanted him now. Glancing at the bed, Clarke decided she didn’t want to take a chance on it; she doubted the sheets were anywhere near clean. So instead she unzipped her pants and brought them down to her ankles, and then turned to bend over a rickety table.

“Not the most romantic position,” Clarke added with a laugh. “But…it’s not like it’s a position we haven’t used before.”

“You know I’d rather look at your face when we do this,” Bellamy said, his voice just as gentle as desirous.

“I know. But indulge me this time.”

Clarke then heard him unzip his pants and pull them down. Moments later she felt his warmth against her backside as he cupped her breasts, kissing the back of her neck. Bellamy continued to caress and play with her breasts as Clarke murmured, “Oh god, so good.”

Bellamy whispered back, “I’ve needed this so much too,” as he planted another kiss on the back of her neck.

She bucked her hips back and forth, trying to urge him for more. She wanted him inside of her and her body was already demanding release. She’d been deprived for too long and was not about to wait much longer. Moments later Bellamy’s hands were stroking her clit as he entered her from behind. The feeling of fullness, the penetration, combined with the direct touches on her most sensitive spot meant that Clarke was going to reach her climax rapidly. She continued to meet his thrusts frantically – the rickety table she leaned upon was at risk of tipping over any time now. Soon she forgot about any efforts to remain quiet and gave way to the orgasm. He followed just a moment afterwards.

Not too long later, both couples snuck back to their cottage where Achebe waited for them. Their second guard just sat there and Clarke couldn’t decide if he was drunk, tired, ill from the mining sickness, or if he simply didn’t care. Bellamy’s words echoed around in her head. It almost felt like defeating these people would be too easy.

***

The next morning, Miller was back on farm duty as usual, alongside Octavia – and just as usual, two armed guards were overseeing them. It had rained during the night, and the fields were chilly and wet. If nothing else, Miller knew he had to be grateful that their captors allowed them to bathe regularly and to pick mint to use to freshen their mouths, but right now he fervently would’ve traded those things for another layer of clothing. He put the thought out of his mind as he continued working. Despite the hell around them, he still appreciated the fresh air and even the dew all over the fields was lovely to look at in the morning light.

Clarke had been able to share only the barest of details around what they were calling The Plan. From what Miller had heard, he knew it wouldn’t take effect today – at least not for the Arkadians. It sounded like Kane and the troops were moving into place soon, but they were at least a couple days out. They’d be marching on foot since there were nowhere near enough rovers to transport over 400 troops. And since they were a couple days out, it was too early for Clarke and team to execute their part of The Plan. So Miller had no choice but to get through this day like any other.

Hearing a noise in the background, Miller looked up. The man he’d spoken to the other day, Humphreys, was talking to one of the two guards and from what Miller could see, it looked like Humphreys was relieving the guard. Humphreys also held what looked like rain ponchos. He crossed to the other side of the field to give one to Octavia, and then he headed right for Miller.

“Got a gift for you,” Humphreys said. “It’s gonna drizzle all morning so this will help you.”

“Thanks,” Miller said. He set down his hoe and reached for the poncho. He tried to assess the situation as he wrestled with the slick fabric. He sometimes found it hard to read people, but he did feel he could read situations. He didn’t like the gleam in Humphreys’ eyes, nor did he like the power imbalance between himself and Humphreys. Maybe Humphreys was just lonely or maybe his aims were more sinister, but in any case the sample fact was that Miller was his captive.

“And another gift,” Humphreys added. Glancing back at Octavia, he said, “This one’s just for you.” He rummaged around in his pocket and procured something encased inside a crinkly wrapper. Miller had seen the Eligius people eating them before, though he himself didn’t quite know what it was. “It’s sweet. And filling. You know, like something you eat when you’re in a hurry or when you want a treat. Our supply room on the ship has a couple hundred of these, so we each get our rations.”

Finally, hesitantly, Miller reached for the item. The plasticy texture of the wrapper felt alien to him and he firmly decided that he didn’t like where this was going. But a friendship with Humphreys might be useful. As far as Miller could tell, none of his people had gotten this far at developing something with one of their captors – other than Clarke and Diyoza of course – and as captives they needed every single advantage they could get.

But the whole situation still made his stomach churn.

“Do – do I eat it now?” Miller asked.

“Whenever you want,” Humphreys shrugged. He glanced again, perhaps ascertaining that the other guard was still out of earshot. “Hey, uh….can we get some time alone together? Maybe later today?”

Miller could not hide his frustration or sarcasm. “Um, Humphreys – I work all day, like from the time the sun rises to when it sets. Can’t exactly decide to just take a break,” he said with a forced laugh.

Humphreys seemed unaffected by Miller’s tone. And Miller hated to admit it, but he was forming the impression that Humphreys wasn’t particularly bright. “I can come back this afternoon,” Humphreys said eagerly. “The cornfields might be dry by then. You’re so handsome! I can bring a blanket and –“

“Hey, hey,” Miller said, holding his hands out. His voice was gentle and almost placating now. “Look, I’d like to, uh, be your friend and all, but I also kinda need to know what you have in mind. Were you thinking for us just to be friends and get to know each other better, or-“

“No!” Humphreys cut him off vehemently. “I don’t want to just be friends.” He took a step closer to Miller and again got that disturbing gleam in his eyes. “I told you, you’re handsome!” he said, now almost pouting. “So I thought we could—“

Miller decided now was the time to deploy a lie, and to cast aside any potential benefits a friendship with Humphreys might bring. They would not be worth the costs. “Look, I’m sorry, but I just want to be friends. I, uh, had a boyfriend before but he died. I’m not ready for…sex or love or anything like that.” Miller hated saying the words, but it was the best he could come up with. He couldn’t reveal the existence of Jackson or anyone else who wasn’t here.

For a second, Humphreys looked angry and almost crazed upon absorbing Miller’s words. But then the man smiled a strange, lopsided grin and said simply, in a singsong, “You’ll change your mind.” For a second he looked as if he was going to lunge towards Miller and perhaps thought better of it. He smiled again and said, “Keep the candy bar,” and walked away.

For the rest of the day, Miller could only hope that The Plan worked and that Kane and the troops arrived quickly.

***

“So, how does it feel? Leaving this bunker for the first time in…almost five years?” Jackson asked.

“Four years, eight months, and two weeks. Not that I’ve been counting,” Abby clarified. She then answered, “Nothing feels as good as finally being allowed to wear my own clothing again.”

The combined forces of Skaikru and the Second Dawn were almost ready to leave the bunker and advance on the valley. While Kane had spent the last 48 hours getting the 221 Skaikru volunteers ready for combat, Jaha and a couple elders had overseen the procurement of the supplies that would be needed. Joining Skaikru would be 178 members of the Second Dawn’s guard.

And as Abby had alluded to, the female Skaikru who were joining the fight were finally allowed out of the mandatory dresses and back into the trousers they’d brought with them years ago. Abby was also forced to admit that her pants fit more snugly than they had before.

“I am a bit worried about Kane,” she added, taking on a serious tone. “He’s been working nonstop since the elders agreed to this.”

“Yes,” Jackson agreed. He continued, sounding like the doctor he would always be, “But look, he’s healthy as a horse – if I’m correctly recalling the old saying. He’s spent the past five years without combat or injuries or illness, and he’s had a healthy and ample diet. He’s about as strong and healthy as he’s ever been.”

“I know,” Abby said.

Jackson gently touched her shoulder. “I know you’re worried about him and Clarke though. Do you want to talk about it?”

Abby shook her head. “Best thing we can do to help our loved ones is to get the medical team ready. Triple check the supplies.”

Jackson nodded. Ever since Miller, Mary, and the others had been taken, he’d wished more than once that it had all been a bad dream, that they were back at Arkadia II where life was peaceful if boring. Occasionally his brain gave him a respite from fear and anxiety, but it still ate away at him in the background. Although he wished he could talk more about it with Abby, he respected her wish not to. The two of them, along with the rest of the medical staff, would follow behind the troops. They had to stay focused and be ready to treat the wounded.

He checked the time. Less than two hours until the first team would depart. He resumed his work, counting supplies and triple-checking their quality. Kane entered med bay at one point and spoke with Abby. Jackson did not try to eavesdrop but they were working in such close proximity that he overheard some of their conversation.

“If all goes well,” Kane said quietly, “we might be able to live the rest of our lives in the valley.”

Jackson glanced behind him and saw that Abby and Kane were embracing as they spoke. He again tried to make himself and his work unobtrusive as he listened.

“Unless the Second Dawn decide they want it,” Abby said flatly.

“A possibility, though I truly think that Cadogan wants to keep his people here where he can control them. But,” Kane added, taking a breath, “if they do want the valley, we’ll figure out a way to share it with them. As equal partners. We finally have an armed Skaikru force.”

Jackson heard Kane softly ask Abby if she wanted to talk about Clarke, but Abby gave the same answer as before. She then pulled Kane into a hug and kiss.

Could Kane’s words be true, Jackson wondered. Would he and his loved ones really be able to live the rest of their lives in the valley, in peace? The prospect set his heart dancing but it almost seemed too good to be true.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen**

“We’re hiding instead of joining the fight.” Bellamy spoke the words and felt his heart racing despite the inherent inaction his situation required. He’d been in combat so many times before. He’d fought people and armies, with his bare hands or with guns. He’d felt the adrenaline pulsing, the strange feeling of being alert, alive, on edge, living in the moment, unsure if he was going to live or die.

Now, though, he was huddled with the others inside the Eligius listening to Raven, Emori, and Monty using rudimentary tools to remove collars. It was part of the plan that Diyoza and Clarke had laid out. An EMP which Diyoza had hidden inside a locker – a locker which she gave Clarke the code to – had disabled all of McCreary’s people’s electronics, including the collars. They timed it with the arrival of the first wave of Kane’s army – an arrival which was now completely taking McCreary by surprise as he never guarded the valley’s perimeter.

“We have no choice,” Clarke responded to Bellamy. “Diyoza was able to get us the EMP but we’re still unarmed. And we have a child with us,” she added, glancing at Mary.

Bellamy looked at Mary and, seeing the girl meet his eyes, gave her a smile. As she’d done during her entire time as an Eligius prisoner, she clung to one of her moms’ sides. Her eyes were wide and she was quiet. Her parents had explained, best they could, what they thought would happen next.

“And if Diyoza’s right, they won’t find us here,” Octavia added. She glanced at Bellamy and frowned, saying, “You’re right though, brother. It feels weird to be hiding during a fight. I wish we had weapons.”

The group had crawled through the ship’s airshafts and reached a maintenance junction. There was enough room for each person to stand. Stand and wait.

Bellamy reached for Clarke’s hand. She held the radio in her other hand, and he was glad when she took his and gave it a firm squeeze.

“Got it!” Raven exclaimed. “Last one.” With that, Miller’s collar fell to the ground. Each of their people had been – finally – divested of their hated collars.

Bellamy exhaled along with Miller at seeing the last collar drop to the floor. Miller rubbed the skin around his neck.

“I’m gonna call Harper again,” Monty said.

Clarke handed him the radio. “Please, though….” she began.

“I know,” Monty replied. “Keep it brief. Kane’s the priority and we need to keep the line open for him as much as we can.”

Their hiding place combined with freedom from the collars meant that they could finally use their radio as often as needed. After they had checked in with Kane – who was leading the troops at the front – and Abby in the med tents, they’d checked in with Harper. Bellamy had smiled watching Monty finally get a chance to speak with Harper. He knew how much it meant to Monty to just finally be able to let the fact that Harper and the baby were safe really sink in. Miller, Anne, and Niylah had practically danced at hearing Viktor crying in the background.

Miller took a step closer to Clarke and began, “When they’re done….?”

Clarke nodded. “You can try medical again. Still need to keep it brief.”

When the group had radioed Abby earlier, Jackson had been unable to get to the radio – he’d been hauling supplies and was nowhere near Abby. The medical tent and all its equipment followed behind the army. Bellamy watched Clarke and Miller’s interaction now and knew how much Miller just wanted to say a few words to Jackson. Miller kept shifting his weight, looking eager.

Bellamy also wanted to shift a bit, but holding Clarke’s hand kept him grounded. This would be a waiting game, and he knew deep down that they were luckier than the troops on the frontlines. Although Skaikru and the Second Dawn would easily overwhelm the Eligius, battle was still – as Bellamy knew all too well – a terrifying thing. Your adrenaline only got you so far. Guns, combat, and warfare inevitably ended in blood, pain, and death.

He took a breath knowing that these thoughts wouldn’t help him. Clarke squeezed his hand as she looked at him.

“I’m fine,” he answered quietly. “Just…wishing I could help. Feeling bad that I can’t.”

“I know. But if we get used as hostages then it won’t help our people,” Clarke said firmly. “Best thing we can do is stay hidden.” She paused. “It will all be over soon.”

***

“Jackson! It’s Miller on the radio.”

Abby called to Jackson, holding out the radio. He eagerly took it, his heart already pounding.

“Nate!”

“Jacks. Good to hear your voice.”

Miller’s voice came through steady and surprisingly calm.

“Same here,” Jackson replied. “I know it hasn’t been that long but it feels like months instead of a few weeks.”

“I know. Look, we need to keep the channel open so we don’t have much more than a minute, but I know you really want to say hi to Mary. So I’m putting her on.”

Jackson exchanged a few words with the girl knowing, as Miller had said, their time was precious. Over the past couple of weeks, Jackson had wondered almost incessantly how Mary would recover from this ordeal. Growing up on the Ark, no one’s life had been easy, but this experience meant a whole new level of trauma. He started to get teary speaking to Mary but was careful to keep his voice steady. Moments later, Miller took the radio back and said, “Okay, we gotta go. Let’s hope this is over soon. We love you.”

“Love you too.”

Handing the radio back to Abby, Jackson swallowed the lump in his throat. As had been the case so many times in the past, he knew he couldn’t directly impact the outcome of events. All he could do was be focused and ready to care for the wounded. Reminding himself to stay sharp, Jackson took another look at Abby. He took a step closer to her.

“How are you holding up?” he asked softly. He wasn’t the only one with tears in his eyes.

Abby wordlessly reached for Jackson and hugged him. He returned the hug warmly. “They’ll be okay,” Jackson said quietly. “Kane will be back at your side before you know it.”

“I hope so. Because without him, everything just feels wrong,” Abby admitted.

The tent flap of the med tent opened, and James walked through. The young man was one of the two Second Dawn doctors who Abby trained when Jackson had left for Arkadia II. Upon seeing James, Abby and Jackson pulled their hug apart.

“James,” Abby said, walking up to the younger doctor. “I don’t like that rash,” she said, gesturing to his neck and arms. “That’s one of the worst cases I’ve seen, even worse than Bellamy’s.”

“I’m fine,” James shrugged. He looked straight at Jackson and said, “Rashes I can deal with. I don’t like having to deal with perverts.”

“We’re here to treat the wounded,” Abby said, without missing a beat. “Not to call people names.”

Jackson observed that Abby kept her tone even and measured. He gathered that nearly five years of living with the Second Dawn had forced Abby to take a different approach than she had on the Ark. As awkward as Jackson felt right now, he forced a smile and decided to extend the olive branch. He said to James, “You’re lucky you have the more mellow version of Dr. Griffin. If I’d insulted a doctor – or a patient - on the Ark, Abby would’ve thrown me out of med bay!” he forced a laugh.

“Hmm,” was James’s reply. His eyes were still hard and cold, and he didn’t return Jackson’s smile. Apparently, Jackson saw, the olive branch was rejected.

“If our people weren’t in battle right now, I **would** toss him out!” Abby said to Jackson with a smile, now looking and sounding more like the Dr. Griffin that Jackson knew. She then turned to the young doctor and directed, “Now James, get back to checking on our troops in Unit B. Find out how many of them need an increased dosage of the anti-radiation meds.”

James silently remained standing there, frowning, for a few beats too long before he finally said, “Alright.” He turned and left to do Abby’s bidding.

Abby and Jackson exchanged a look. He opened his mouth, but Abby was faster. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I really missed working with you the past four years! And don’t let bastards like him get you down.” She put a hand on his shoulder.

Jackson smiled. “Nate and our kids are alive. I’m just going to be grateful for that and ignore James.”

***

“Mommy. Mama. Potty.”

Mary tugged at Niylah and Anne’s pants as she made her request.

“Just a little longer,” Niylah said soothingly as she caressed Mary’s hair. “If the fight isn’t over soon, we’ll find somewhere in the air shaft for you to go, okay?”

Clarke sat next to Bellamy, both resting their backs against the wall. She continued to hold the radio in her right hand.

“Reminds me of the days when we were separated,” Clarke said quietly to Bellamy. “Me and this radio. It was like an extension of my body when we were apart.” She rested her free hand on his knee.

“I remember those days. It was a nightmare being apart from you,” he responded in a low voice. “Stuck in the Second Dawn bunker and unable to get back to you.”

Clarke looked at him and, as she so often did, just had to pause at the intensity of the love in his eyes. “I’ll never forget the day when you were able to radio me,” she finally said. “I was in the shower. Raven came running in. She yelled, ‘Bellamy! He’s alive!’ I was dripping wet and naked, and I didn’t care.” She smiled and paused. “I still get chills thinking about that moment.”

“You sure you don’t get chills just because you were cold?” Bellamy teased.

Clarke playfully swatted at him and made a face. They had relived this moment with each other many times before, but today Clarke felt nostalgic again.

He then mirrored her serious tone from a few seconds ago. “I’ll never forget it either. Jaha comes to my room and tells me he’s got a gift for me,” he said, shaking his head. “Then he gestures for me to walk to his room with him. We can’t talk in the halls since we can’t risk being overheard, so the whole time I’m wondering what the hell is going on. Then we get to his room, your mom’s there with tears in her eyes, and Jaha tells me simply that he made a radio. I couldn’t believe it.”

Clarke and Bellamy both looked in the direction of Mary and her parents. Miller started to sing a goofy song to distract the girl, and it appeared to be working. Mary giggled and said, “Daddy, stop!”

“She’s a good kid,” Clarke said quietly.

Bellamy nodded. “Someday,” he began, also looking at Mary, “you and me….?” he let his voice and the question trail off.

Clarke nodded. “I think we should. I think we’d make an adorable kid. And we---“

The radio sounded and Clarke instantly pressed the button. “Clarke here!” she said.

“It’s Kane. McCreary is surrendering. We think it’s officially safe for you to come out.”

Clarke, Bellamy, and the others instantly jumped to their feet and a few elated shouts were heard. Clarke was eager to celebrate too but she first needed more details.

“Casualties?” she asked, gripping the radio.

“Not sure, but at least a dozen on our end. Don’t know yet how many of them are fatal. McCreary’s lost a handful of people too. We’re securing the enemy troops and transporting people to med bay.”

“We’ll come out and join you! We can help with the wounded.”

“Copy that,” Kane said. “And remember, Clarke, as soon as the injured are all stable, we’ll need you to help with injecting everyone with….the substance. The blood serum.”

“Diyoza has us covered on that. The lab on this ship should have notes on it and everything we need to replicate it.”

Clarke reached for Bellamy’s hand again and gave him a smile. They’d been working nonstop since they had been taken prisoner, and it looked like the work ahead of them would be endless too. But that was okay. They won. The valley was theirs.

***

Miller was glad that the group was helping to transport the wounded, knowing it meant he’d see Jackson sooner this way - though given how busy Jackson was sure to be, he doubted he’d get to do more than glance at him anytime soon.

Miller, Niylah, and Anne had discussed the possibility of taking Mary to see her other father knowing that he missed her sorely. But they all agreed that a medical tent swarming with blood and injured soldiers – some of whom might not survive – wouldn’t be the best place for Mary right now. Jackson wouldn’t be able to spare the time to even hug her yet either, so Mary’s moms decided that Anne would offer her services in the medical tent while Niylah stayed with the girl and kept her away, as much as possible, from the remnants of the battle. She didn’t need any more trauma.

As soon as he and the others were out of the ship, Miller briefly looked around. He’d seen battlefields before. The valley didn’t look too bad. A few of the cottages had been roughed up and a fence was now mostly knocked over. If Miller looked closer he could see shell casings and other evidence of weaponry discharge. Members of the Eligius crew were being tied up, and Diyoza was already – per her agreement with Clarke – out of her cell and speaking with her supporters, the ones like Achebe who had helped them win. The scene wasn’t the worst or most chaotic one Miller had seen, but he still wasn’t fully sure where to start. It appeared that the patients needing the most urgent care were already being helped, carted off in stretchers or in rovers towards the med tent.

“Anyone need help getting to a doctor?” he finally shouted out, deciding to take charge of the situation. Someone pointed in a direction and shouted, “More wounded that way”, and Miller soon found himself helping a Second Dawn man who’d been shot in the leg.

As they awkwardly walked towards med bay, Miller made conversation with the man, trying to keep him conscious and keep his mind off of his injury. During the five month period when Miller had lived with the Second Dawn, he’d found their people and attitudes so strange. But this young man was eager to talk despite that he was grimacing in pain. “Can’t believe this place,” the man said through gritted teeth. “The air…the green…the clouds.”

“I know, right?” Miller responded. “Looks like earth before Praimfaya. I don’t know how the death wave just passed over this place.”

Soon after that, a rover was available, and Miller gently helped the man into it. The medical tent was as Miller had expected. It was organized chaos, but at least the Second Dawn had several nurses and they seemed to be managing things. Against his better judgment, Miller asked one of the nurses, as she bandaged a patient’s arm, “Are the doctors all in surgery?”

“Yep!” she answered, not looking up.

Miller then spotted Riley. He was sitting, clutching his side. His hands were bloody. “Can I do anything?” Miller asked.

“Just a flesh wound,” Riley shrugged. “I’m far down on the priority list. But see if you can find me another bandage.”

Miller nodded, and Riley continued. “Hey. Your ex Bryan’s here. He was shot up pretty badly. He’s one of the ones in surgery now.”

***

“There’s Kane!” Bellamy said, soon after he and Clarke had stepped off the ship. His thoughts were, of course, on the battle, the casualties, and the next steps but he wasn’t going to hide the fact that he was happy to see Kane again.

And neither was Kane. He rushed up to Bellamy and returned the younger man’s hug. Clarke followed closely behind, and she also hugged Kane. Bellamy noted that Kane’s hair was a bit longer and a bit greyer but he mostly looked the same.

The three talked strategy from there. They quietly discussed whether Diyoza was a threat, and the consensus seemed to be ‘not immediately’ especially since only a dozen of the Eligius people were loyal to her. “We do need to keep an eye on her though,” Clarke said quietly. They talked again about the blood serum and what it might take to get everyone injected. She then added, scanning the battlefield, “But it looks like our first priority are the wounded. I need to get to the med tents to help.”

Bellamy couldn’t argue with that, and he was about to open his mouth to agree and offer to help transport patients when Monty strode up to the group. He wanted to trek back to Arkadia II as soon as possible to get Harper and the babies. Clarke responded, “I agree, and I know you’re eager to see them. Viktor’s parents are eager to be back with their baby too.” She nodded and added, “Let’s help the wounded and then get you what you need. Kane, we can spare a rover once the wounded are transported, right?”

Kane confirmed that they could, Monty thanked Clarke, and Bellamy fell into step next to Clarke to help with the injured.

***

Clarke wished she could have hugged her mother, but as soon as her hands were clean, she instead found herself standing next to Abby and assisting her with surgery. She kept her mind focused. Reunions, hugs, catching up, and casual chats would all have to wait until every patient was out of critical condition, and then until every Skaikru had been given the blood serum so that their anti-radiation drugs and hazmat suits could be discarded.

Hours later the situation inside the medical tent was under control and Clarke found herself sitting on the floor, next to her mother who sat in a chair. The med tent had been partitioned off into several areas, and she and Abby were together inside one segment. She closed her eyes and took a breath, just trying to absorb the past few hours. Surgery required precision, alertness, and a hundred other qualities and Clarke knew her reserves were nearly drained.

Then Bellamy was suddenly there, walking towards them, holding a tray. “Tea,” he said with an awkward smile.

“Tea?” Clarke asked, her eyes wide all of a sudden, her mouth open.

“Come on Clarke,” he smiled, “don’t you remember your days with the Second Dawn? Afternoon tea is served on time no matter what.”

Clarke returned his smile but suppressed any outright laughter when a Second Dawn nurse nearby responded sharply, “Hey, don’t make fun of our ways!”

“We’re not, Margaret,” Abby called back firmly. Her tone indicated a middle ground between bemusement and exasperation. “In fact, we’re smiling because we think it’s a great tradition.”

Clarke now wasn’t sure if she was smiling or nearly smirking, but she patted Bellamy’s leg. “Can you stay for a while? Every patient is stable now.”

“Let me make sure each medical person has their tea and then I’ll be right back,” Bellamy promised.

True to his word, Bellamy returned moments later. “Here, come on,” he said, settling down next to her. “Rest against me. You must be exhausted.”

Clarke leaned into Bellamy, letting him take some of her weight. “I wouldn’t mind laying down right now,” she admitted. “But if I do that, then I might sleep. And I’ve got to get on the serum next.”

She turned her head in the direction of Abby and saw that her mother was now snoozing while still sitting in the chair.

“No harm in taking a break,” Bellamy said soothingly. “You said everyone’s stable.”

“We lost 12 people total,” she answered. “Seven were Eligius - the others were our people. Everyone else should pull through.”

“Thank goodness for a quick battle. We’ve all seen worse.”

“A lot worse.” Clarke repositioned herself and put both arms around him. “Maybe I could close my eyes and rest against you. Just for a bit.”

“Take all the time you need,” he said, gently brushing a lock of her hair out of her eyes.

She knew she was drifting off rapidly. Bellamy was so warm and strong, and she knew that he really meant it when he said she could lean on him as much as she wanted or needed. Clarke felt once again how lucky she was to have him in her life, lucky that he was safe and sound – as was her mother, as were most of her people. After not long, Clarke was sound asleep.

***

“Bellamy brought us tea? Wow, that was good of him!”

“I know.” Miller handed the teacup to Jackson. “Don’t you want to sit down?”

“If I sit, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back up again,” Jackson said with an exhausted smile. He and Miller were together inside another section of the med tent.

Miller put a hand on his back and rubbed it the way Jackson liked. “But, can’t you take a short break? Didn’t the nurse say that no one else’s in critical condition?”

Jackson nodded. “She’s right. Bryan’s going to pull through, thank goodness. But he’s going to need a lot of ongoing care in the next few months.” He took a breath and added, “We’ve got to get on the serum next.” Jackson remembered the tea Miller had handed him a second ago and drank some. He had to admit that the beverage was refreshing.

“Well, you won’t be much help if you’re exhausted,” Miller said gently. He then added, “Hey, Monty’s getting a group together to go to Arkadia II. Anne’s going to go.”

Jackson closed his eyes and nodded. “This must’ve been so brutal for her – being separated from the baby. She was still nursing him when they were taken.” He looked around. “And we have plenty of nurses here. I hope Niylah knows that she can join them too. What about you?”

“We were thinking it’d be better if I stay here with Mary. I can’t help much with the serum. And it would be better for Mary not to make the trip.”

“I want so badly to put my arms around her,” Jackson said. Being away from both of the children had been agonizing, but he tried not to dwell on it now. Not when his skills were so badly needed.

“Now that med bay’s under control, let me go get her,” Miller suggested. “She talked about you a lot while you were apart.” As Jackson nodded, Miller continued to rub his back.

“Hey, can you two not do that stuff in here? That’s disgusting.”

The Second Dawn doctor James had pulled the tent flap aside and entered their area. He glared at the two men.

“Do what?” Miller asked, taking a step towards James.

Jackson quickly assessed the situation, seeing Miller’s clenched fists and the anger in his eyes. He knew Miller was also frustrated and tired, from having spent a couple weeks working ceaselessly, from not having been able to fight in the battle to free them. He touched Miller’s arm. “Nate,” he said softly. “He’s not worth it.”

Miller met Jackson’s eyes and nodded. James scoffed and shook his head in disgust. He then muttered, “Take another look at Dweck’s wound when you get a chance,” before turning and leaving.

Jackson looked at Miller and slightly shook his head. “I kind of wanted to let him know that I don’t take orders from him, but he really is not worth the effort of opening my mouth,” Jackson added.

Miller nodded. “You’re right, Jacks. Besides,” he said with a slight smile, “after this, he goes back to living underground with a crazy cult and we get to start our lives in this valley.”

“This beautiful valley,” Jackson added. He then decided not to care if James or anyone else walked back in, and he pulled Miller into a kiss.

***

It was bittersweet, Clarke knew, the way life often was.

She decided to take this moment and enjoy it. She took in another breath –the air inside Shallow Valley was impossibly sweet and warm despite the nuclear destruction that surrounded the valley. Clarke took another bite of her meal and chewed it thoughtfully, commanding herself not to rush despite the abundance of work still to be done. Bellamy sat to her left, and her mother sat across from her. So many people had lost everyone and everything, but she knew she was lucky that her boyfriend and her mother were alive and well.

She had asked that everyone take a break and just have lunch together, and that was what was happening this afternoon. Joining Clarke for the picnic today, in addition to Bellamy and Abby, were Kane, Octavia, Raven, Monty, Harper, Miller, Jackson, Niylah, Anne, the three children, Murphy, and Emori. Clarke saw Monty rub at his neck where his collar had been, the baby Viktor woke up from his nap to begin a new round of crying, and Murphy was making a sarcastic complaint about something. But Clarke knew she was lucky to have survived this and to be with the people she loved.

Bittersweet. Clarke took another bite of her apple – it, too, was both tart and sweet. She thought of the losses her people had endured and the struggles they had yet to face. Jasper. The others who had died in the battle for the valley. And the myriad of challenges facing them in the future. Clarke went over the list in her head, the list which constantly ate at her.

_What to do about Diyoza? She and her people might be a threat someday. I need to get a better understanding of her – what she wants, what makes her tick._

_What about the Eligius crew? We can’t keep them locked up on the ship forever. How do we analyze which ones are a threat and which ones can eventually be rehabilitated?_

_The Second Dawn. Cadogan told Kane this morning that any Skaikru who want to leave and go live in the valley can – except for those who married into the Second Dawn. But Kane and I aren’t sure that he’s going to keep his word. Are we going to have to someday arm ourselves and storm their bunker to free our people? And even if it doesn’t come to that, what about the Skaikru people who married into the Second Dawn? We twisted some arms to make that happen. Is it right to just leave them down there?_

_And no matter how that turns out, the amount of farming, foraging, hunting, fishing, and house-building that we’ll need to do to keep everyone fed and sheltered….it will be enough work to occupy each one of us morning, noon, and night._

_Speaking of that, we need to make another trip back to Arkadia II. There’s a ton of useful things there, and I don’t want its farms to go to waste. We’re definitely going to need the medicinal plants since we won’t have access to the Second Dawn’s med bay anymore._

Bellamy touched his hand to Clarke’s thigh. “Stop thinking,” he said, with a smile.

She returned his smile. “I can’t help it.”

“Just let your head take a break for a minute. And enjoy this,” he said, tilting his head upwards.

“I will. I do,” Clarke corrected. She was trying. The sky was blue and the clouds were fluffy and white. They could now enjoy the valley without McCreary barking orders. They could – and did – curl up in bed together at night, their muscles and their minds weary but satisfied knowing that they and their people were reaping the benefits of their work.

Clarke pulled Bellamy into a kiss.

“Get a room!” Murphy groaned.

Clarke ignored him and took a few seconds to follow Bellamy’s advice. She was here, she was free, and she was kissing the man she loved.

**THE END**

***

**The epilogue will be coming soon. I’ve loved writing this fic but, after the epilogue, I don’t have plans to revisit this world. What do you think will be in the epilogue? What do you want to see in it?**


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

“You once had to choose being a doctor over being chancellor. Have you ever regretted it?”

Clarke asked the question to Abby one afternoon. Abby smiled, took another look at her patient, and then tilted her head towards the door. Shallow Valley’s med bay had just one patient now, and he was stable. The Griffin women could take a short walk. They headed for the door and stepped through. The weather was cool today, and Clarke wordlessly made a gesture as if to offer her sweater to Abby, but Abby refused with a shake of her head. Despite the cool weather, Shallow Valley was as beautiful as ever and Clarke knew that after spending years living underground and on the Ark, she would always appreciate even the smallest thing about the valley. Even just the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind or the sight of someone splitting logs in the distance.

“I’ve never regretted it,” Abby said. “But it’s a decision each of us has to make for ourselves.” She took a breath. “Raven was right all those years ago though when she told me that you can’t do both. And especially not with a baby on your hip.”

Clarke nodded. The election had been held ten days after they had settled the valley. Clarke and Kane had agreed that Clarke would run for chancellor and Kane for vice-chancellor and ambassador to the Second Dawn. They had run unopposed. That was nearly a year ago. They met multiple times each week with five elected members of the council, one of whom was Charmaine Diyoza. They also held monthly townhall meetings so that anyone could voice concerns or ask questions.

“I know,” Clarke said. “But we’ve had almost a year of peace and stability now. And the baby - he sleeps well. Sometimes I feel I could take on more.”

Abby touched a hand to Clarke’s shoulder. “I suppose any of us could do more. But in med bay we have two doctors and two nurses. We’d never turn away your services, Clarke, but we’ve got it under control.”

“I know. And Bellamy reminds me that this year of peace and stability can’t last forever.”

“Well, not if our lives up till this point are any indication.” Abby tilted her head. “Things have been a lot easier than I’d thought though.”

“Almost feels too good to be true,” Clarke said, spreading her arms. “Diyoza has turned out to be a sane and rational person.”

“You and Octavia have done a great job with her,” Abby cut in. She quoted the adage, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“I feel we understand each other,” Clarke said with a shrug. “We give her a voice on the council, we treat her people well – and we listened to her ideas about which of McCreary’s people could be rehabbed, and which couldn’t. She and Octavia have become actual friends. And Diyoza knows this is a great place to be raising Hope.” She took a breath. “Even the Second Dawn has been reasonable – which still shocks me.”

“Reasonable as long as we keep our trading partnership with them going,” Abby said.

“Reasonable thanks to Kane’s diplomatic skills,” Clarke insisted. “I learn from him every time I watch him.”

Whether through Kane’s influence or other factors, Cadogan had kept his word. Any Skaikru who wanted to leave the Second Dawn bunker and live in the valley had been permitted to – except for those who had married into the Second Dawn. That left Jaha and a handful of others with the Second Dawn, while over 400 Skaikru now lived in the valley. Skaikru traded with the Second Dawn, providing meat and fish in exchange for medicine, clothing, and other items. So far it was working out far better than Clarke would have dreamed. Pretty soon Skaikru would have the upper hand in their trade deals. Monty was growing a crop of plants with fibers that could be used to make clothing. Clarke was glad that Monty was busy with work he loved, and of course with a family he loved. He and Harper had a second child on the way now. Hopefully, Clarke mused, these blessings helped provide a balm over the wound of losing Jasper.

Despite what she said to her mother, Clarke still believed that any day the Second Dawn might change their minds and decide they wanted the valley for themselves, so she kept the guard well-trained, with scouts and patrols out at all times so they’d have eyes on the bunker. And on any other potential surprises. Besides, John Cadogan wasn’t going to live forever and his son Andrew had always been harder to deal with. Kane had been doing his best for the past six years but had never made the inroads with Andrew that he had with John. So even Skaikru members like Monty who had other jobs still did occasional combat and weapons training.

The two women walked in silence for a bit, just enjoying the sights and sounds of the valley. There was a constant hustle and bustle of activity – houses being built or repaired, guard members going through drills, meals being prepared en masse, and endless labor on the farm. And always against this backdrop that Clarke would never fail to appreciate there were touches like birds singing, children playing, multi-hued flowers and bushes growing everywhere.

“Are you…bored, Clarke? Is that it?” Abby asked.

Clarke shook her head. “I got Bellamy. We have Jacob – and you were right, having an infant is all-consuming, even an infant who sleeps well.” She clutched her chest. “He’s due for a feeding soon. But no, I’m not bored. Let’s not forget that plenty of the 468 people here approach their chancellor almost every day, on everything from stolen blankets to the treatment of the Eligius prisoners.”

“Do I even want to ask….?” Abby began.

Clarke waved a hand dismissively. “The blankets have been returned. And the Eligius prisoners are the best cared-for prisoners in history.” After meeting with Diyoza numerous times to discuss each prisoner, Clarke and the council had put a plan in place and worked it. Several prisoners were considered candidates for rehabilitation and had counseling sessions frequently. Several others were potential candidates for rehabilitation down the road. A few prisoners had been released after just months and all except one was successfully getting along in this new society.

“Glad about the blankets,” Abby said with a decisive nod. “Can I take Jacob after his next meal? I could use some time with my grandson, and Anne or Niylah – I can’t remember which one – is on call next, so I’ll be officially off soon.”

“Sure,” Clarke smiled. “Bellamy’s still out hunting with the guard. Oh, I need to get some time with Kane in the next few days. We need to sit down and meet before the next townhall.”

“I’ll mention it to him over dinner tonight. I’m sure it’s on his radar as well.”

There were always so many items that might come up at any townhall meeting; Clarke, Kane, and the rest of the council did their best to see around corners and prepare. One issue was the need to create a daycare center, just like the Ark used to have. Right now, Niylah, Anne, Jackson, and Miller were functioning as a _de facto_ day care center since at least one of them always was on childcare duty anyway. Clarke and Bellamy had more than once dropped Jacob off with one of them when needed. But that wasn’t fair to Niylah and the others - and all four of them had other jobs. Redeploying people from their current jobs into daycare wouldn’t be easy though – there was always so much work to be done.

Another issue that regularly surfaced had to do with a man named Jonathan. His best friend had been Owen, and Owen was one of the Skaikru men who Abby had encouraged – some said _needled_ \- to marry a Second Dawn woman. Jonathan hated the fact that his friend was stuck underground with the Second Dawn, and he rarely missed a chance to publically verbalize his anger and discontent. Once it had erupted into him shouting at Abby during a townhall. Both Abby and Kane had personally visited Jonathan and tried to mollify him but it wasn’t working. In fact, there were signs that Jonathan was stirring up his own band of malcontents. Clarke had to shake her head. Of all the places she’d lived her entire life, there was far less reason here than anywhere else to be discontent. She did, however, try to empathize with the reason for Jonathan’s anger.

And Kane’s last visit with the Second Dawn suggested another potential problem down the road. Kane learned that several members of the Second Dawn had come to the elders with a proposal. They wanted groups of 20-30 at a time to be allowed to spend a month in Shallow Valley. They would be accompanied by an elder who would perform daily religious services, and they would work alongside Skaikru on whatever daily tasks Skaikru assigned. When their month was over, they would return to the bunker and then another group would rotate in for their time in Shallow Valley. Neither Kane nor Cadogan – nor Clarke - thought this was a great idea. (“It would be like giving a hungry man two bites of dinner and then taking the rest of it away!” Cadogan had said). They were concerned that the Second Dawn people who were given that month in Shallow Valley would never want to return to the bunker, or would stir dissention when they did return. Besides, if the goal was to foster more Skaikru-Second Dawn marriages, it seemed unlikely that goal would be met given the fact that the two tribes already had years living together in the bunker.

Clarke had to admit that she didn’t want waves of the Second Dawn’s people in their valley, didn’t want them coveting it. But as leader, she knew she couldn’t just wish that the Second Dawn would disappear either. One more challenge that she would have to deal with.

***

Jackson and Miller sat on the front porch of their cottage. It was chilly, so they had sweaters and jackets on as they drank their tea. They didn’t get one of the cottages overlooking the lake – it made more sense for them to, instead, live close to med bay. Their cottage at this point wasn’t much more than one room with the barest of amenities. They had a bed, a dresser, a fireplace, a trundle beds for the kids, and – thankfully – an indoor washroom. The council kept a list of those seeking upgrades and expansions to their housing. The list contained almost everyone though, so Jackson and Miller understood it could be a while before they got an addition built on for the kids to have their own room. Neither man was complaining. Their own place inside this beautiful valley, where they could enjoy the simple pleasure of an open window, was more than either could have dreamed about. Their porch might not overlook a lake, but that didn’t matter when the greenery outside was beautiful in its own right. There was even a nearby tree where they’d built a swing for the kids.

Niylah and Anne lived next door, and the couples did as they had always done – worked together to determine childcare duties and schedules. They had their issues like any family did. Lately Miller felt that Anne was too strict with discipline while Anne felt Miller too lax, but they were talking it through. Right now Niylah and Anne had charge of both children until tomorrow morning. The group had just finished dinner together, and Jackson and Miller were now grabbing a few moments before bedtime. Jackson was ‘on call’ for any medical needs that might arise before the morning.

“How’s that tea?” Miller asked.

Jackson made a face as he took another sip. “Really…acidic.”

“I thought so too. I hope the next foraging party comes back with some different tea leaves. What we had last month was better.” He smiled. “And I hope Monty someday has time to make more moonshine.”

“Yeah,” Jackson said quietly. He set his mug down on the overturned crate they used as a table. He leaned towards Miller, his chair creaking a bit as he moved. “Have you thought more about….your job?”

Miller nodded. “I have. I’m gonna do it. I plan to talk to the other teachers and to Bellamy tomorrow so we can think through a transition.”

Back in Arkadia II, Miller had started to function as a teacher. When the valley had been settled, he had made a pitch for a job as a teacher and had gotten one. Several surviving Skaikru had been educators, and they’d worked with Miller to help him better learn the craft of teaching. But lately Miller had been saying that he wanted to go back to being a guard.

Jackson took a breath. “Are-are you sure? You’re a great teacher. And,” he added with a smile, “teaching seems to run in the family now.” Both Jackson and Niylah found that they were good at scavenging scraps of this and that and sewing them together into dolls. Mary enjoyed gathering up the dolls and playing teacher, pretending to take them through daily lessons. The girl was quite passionate about her hobby, and always asking for more “students”, leaving Jackson and Niylah happily spending much of their free time on doll making. Niylah taught both of the children Trig, desperately wanting to keep her language alive, and Mary in turn taught it to the dolls.

Miller returned his smile at Mary’s hobby but quickly went back to a more serious tone. “I’m an okay teacher.” He was silent for a few moments and then chuckled, “It’s true what they say. Being around kids all day is really hard, even when you love the two of them that are your own!”

“Sometimes it takes a while to….get into a profession. For it to feel right.” Jackson shook his head. “My first few years working with Abby on the Ark…” he let his voice trail off and he smiled, “Well, let’s just say it was a good thing that I didn’t have too many friends or much of a social life.”

“This change just feels right,” Miller said firmly. “There’s a ton of reasons to do it. My dad was the head guard – and Bellamy’s the head guard now. Everyone I talk to on the guard says what a good boss he is. Also, it’s the kind of work I’m good at. And Kane and Bellamy both asked me to join back up. They really want me there.” He paused, “Besides, Clarke’s right – who knows how long this peace with the Second Dawn will last? And who knows what might drop from the sky? I doubt the Eligius was the end of it. There are plenty of other people who can teach, but we really need good guards.”

Jackson silently sat with that for a while. He picked his teacup back up and thumbed its handle for a bit before setting it back down again. He decided to just ask the question that had been eating away at him. “Nate? It’s not….because of Bryan, is it?”

“What? No,” Miller answered instantly.

Although trained as a farmer, Bryan now worked as a guard. Kane had asked Bryan a year ago to join the guard, remembering how well Bryan had fought under Pike and later against ALIE. He’d also fought bravely in the battle for Shallow Valley.

“I just had to ask,” Jackson admitted.

Miller leaned forward and put his hand on Jackson’s thigh. “I love you,” he said firmly. “As for Bryan – I’d no more go back to him than I’d…I’d want to be 17 years old again!” He switched from a passionate tone to a lighter one and said, “He’s an okay guy but honestly I don’t even **like** him that much anymore. We’re different people than those boys who used to date on the Ark all those years ago. And let’s not forget that I’ll never really trust him after what he did to us. He’s not sweet and wise like you. You and the kids are everything to me,” he concluded resolutely.

Jackson nodded. He hadn’t wanted to bring the topic up but was glad that he had. It was just a dangling question he’d needed to get off of his chest. “Okay, good.”

He was quiet then, and Miller leaned forward again. “Go on,” Miller encouraged, studying his face. “I can tell you’re not done with this subject. I know that look.”

Jackson took a breath. “Just that you **are** a good teacher. That’s all. Are you going back to the guard because it’s something you’re comfortable with? Something that’s easy for you?”

“Maybe,” Miller shrugged. “Look. My job doesn’t define me. It’s just something I do because everyone has to have one.” He rubbed Jackson’s thigh. “Maybe I do want to go back to being a guard because it’s easy. Is that so wrong? I know I have a really good life. I have a husband and kids I love and lots of friends. Going back to the guard just feels right now. And hell, who knows? Maybe someday I’ll go back to teaching. Or I’ll join the housing team. Or farming. It sure feels we have more possibilities here than we’ve ever had before.”

“Okay,” Jackson nodded, his mind at peace now. “You’re right.” He knew he was lucky to have a calling, and that not everyone had one. Miller had hit on the most important thing. They were happy together and they had a good life here.

***

“Can I have Aunt-duty now?” Octavia asked Clarke and Bellamy.

The couple exchanged a look. “He’s all yours,” Clarke said. “Just keep in mind that he should wake up in just over an hour, demanding his next meal.”

Octavia walked over to the crib and gathered up Jacob. “I’ll have him back on time,” she said straightforwardly. Her lips curled with delight at holding the sleeping baby. “I just need to hold him – and think about something other than why the squash isn’t growing and how to up our weed-removal game.”

Bellamy watched Octavia leave, baby in tow. He had always been glad that she was such an involved aunt. She’d been close to Diyoza’s daughter from the start, so Bellamy was intensely relieved to see Octavia take a shine to Jacob too. Part of him had wanted to again express his appreciation to Octavia today. But he stopped himself, reasoning that he’d already told her plenty of times before and was at risk of receiving an eye-roll in reply. Bellamy stood next to Clarke and placed a hand against her back.

“So we have a whole hour of downtime,” he began. “What should we do with it?” His tone was sincere. Their days were so busy that they didn’t always know what to do with the spare time they had, and right now he wanted Clarke’s input.

“How about we just sit and put our feet up, and not spend a minute thinking about running Shallow Valley or running the guard?” Clarke suggested. She walked over to their sofa and did just as she’d said, placing her feet atop the low table by the sofa. She gestured for him to join her.

Bellamy sat next to her, placing his arm around her. As he enjoyed the feel of her warmth, he glanced around their cottage. It was located in the center of the village, next to the structure used as village hall. It seemed only fitting that the chancellor should live there. It was one of the larger cottages, though neither Clarke nor Bellamy had gunned for that. No sense in fostering resentment among people they needed to lead. Fortunately the place wasn’t that much bigger than anyone else’s. It had two rooms plus a loft, as well as the coveted features like a fireplace, indoor bathroom, and porch.

It was, Bellamy knew, the best place he’d ever lived in. Not just because of the coziness of the cabin, but because he lived with the love of his life and their baby. How fortunate they were, he knew, that they’d been able to have a healthy baby.

And how fortunate that their friends were doing well too. Monty and Harper’s cabin was nearby, and with Harper expecting their second child the timing worked out well for Jacob; he would have lots of kids near his age. Murphy, Emori, and Raven were all doing fine too. Raven worked as chief engineer, with Emori as one of her staff. Murphy hadn’t quite found his groove in terms of a profession but for now he seemed to find it tolerable enough working under Monty and Octavia’s direction on the farms. Harper was back on the guard, though she would of course go on leave when further along in her pregnancy.

No matter how busy they all were, the old Arkadia II group made sure to eat together at least once a week – sometimes joined by Kane and Abby. Jasper was remembered and missed. They talked about starting up bridge tournaments again someday. Murphy and Emori had been asked more than once if they planned to start a family, and the answer seemed to be affirmative – just not right now.

“How’s your writing coming?” Clarke asked, resting her head against Bellamy’s shoulder.

“I didn’t have much time for it today. But maybe tomorrow. Once Miller’s back up to speed, I’ll have him take over some of my duties so that should free up some time. I think I’ll put him in charge of scheduling.”

Having Miller back on the guard was already helping. Bellamy and Clarke had discussed that someday Bellamy might run for council. First, though, he wanted to follow Clarke and Kane’s suggestion of getting a few successful years of leading the guard under his belt. Plus he and Clarke would need to decide whether – and when – they wanted to have a second child.

“You still thinking of writing fiction someday?”

“Someday,” Bellamy answered, glancing up towards the ceiling. “But I still have a ways to go on my project.” Bellamy remembered how much comfort he’d taken in writing Clarke letters back when the Second Dawn had held him as captive. So he had recently reprised writing, this time penning a memoir of sorts, writing about key events in his life. Paper was as rare and precious as it always had been, but Niylah had taught Bellamy a paper-pressing technique and he could usually carve out a few hours each week to work on it. The papers were rough and pulpy but serviceable.

“Still not writing about the bad stuff yet,” Bellamy added.

“No need to rush it,” Clarke said. “Unless you want to.”

“I can’t decide,” he said, shaking his head. “In the back of my head I feel it would help to write about it. But lately all I want to do is write about the good stuff. I made a few changes to the section on Jacob’s birth - I’ll show those to you next. Started writing about our first kiss. I get such a good feeling remembering those things.”

He looked at Clarke, her eyes twinkling as she smiled at him. “I do too,” she said.

Bellamy’s heart warmed as he continued to just look at her. “The day you told me you were pregnant. That’s next.” He smiled more broadly and asked, “Is it wrong to say screw the bad memories, at least for now? We’ve been so happy here. Sometimes I just want to forget all the bad.”

Clarke took a breath. “I really don’t think it’s right or wrong either way. Our bad experiences make us who we are. But you don’t have to write about them if you don’t want to.” She smiled again. “I wouldn’t mind re-living the day I told you we were pregnant. So when you do write that part, let me read it so I can re-live it with you!”

“You know I can’t wait to hear what you think of every section. I love all the feedback you give me.” Bellamy smiled and was quiet for a bit. He then added, “Seems we’re not the only people who aren’t sure how to reconcile the good with the bad.”

“It was a good discussion,” Clarke said, taking a breath. “We’ll have to come to a decision soon.”

At the last townhall meeting, some people had brought up the idea of having a celebration to commemorate one year of living in the valley – and to make it an annual event. Others had struggled with the idea of having a party when they had so many dead to mourn – from those who’d died in the battle for Shallow Valley to those who’d died in Praimfaya all the way back to those who’d died in cullings on the Ark and those who had been floated for no good reason. And so many others lost in between those events.

It did make Bellamy’s head hurt if he dwelled on it for too long. The people living in the valley plus the Second Dawn were the last of the human race, a fact he could never get used to even though Praimfaya had been six years ago now. Folks talked about how they, in the valley, likely didn’t have enough people to continue the human race indefinitely and might someday have to do what the handful of others had done – intermarry with the Second Dawn. Bellamy shook his head again at the thought of those like Jaha who were still living down there with them. Kane mentioned over dinner the other day that Jaha had seemed content last time Kane had visited the Second Dawn. “He seems to love his wife and….accept their religion,” Kane had said. “Maybe it’s his brain trying to rationalize the fact that he’s stuck down there with them. But he seems okay.” Abby had shrugged and added, “It’s not a bad life for him. They certainly work a lot fewer hours than we do.”

Bellamy turned his thoughts back over to the topic at hand. “We should do some sort of memorial. At some point.” He paused. “It’s hard because everyone has lost so many people. We could spend the rest of our lives carving monuments to them. But we do have to do something.”

Clarke nodded. “I think you said it perfectly. I also think we will have to come up with a tradition of celebrating the anniversary of when we won the valley. We had Unity Days on the Ark. We-“

She broke off and returned his grin, “Yeah, we rolled our eyes at it, but it was a tradition.” Sounding more serious, Clarke added, “We can get a new tradition going here.” She sighed. “I guess that’s life. A mix of the good and the bad.”

Bellamy smiled. “For us now…it’s mostly good.”

“Good doesn’t even scratch the surface,” Clarke added. “Life right now is pretty great.”

He reached for her and pulled her into a tender kiss.

**THE END**

_**Thank you again to Penguin of Prose for beta testing, and to everyone who has read and commented. The journey is over! I don’t know how the series will end but I enjoy picturing our people growing old here.** _


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